Destiny-altering flowchart: Am I the perfect product endorser?

MANILA, Philippines - So you think you could be the next perfect product endorser? You think it’s as simple as saying “no comment” when you’re asked about Leviticus 20:13? You think it’s as easy as stopping yourself from cutting your hair short after a bad break-up and a controversial interview with Tito Boy?

Then, take this short quiz to find out if you really are the next perfect product endorser. In the off-chance that you are, you’ll be glad to know that Supreme won’t demand a 20-percent discoverer’s fee. A lifetime supply of age-defying moisturizing soaps will do — along with shampoos for totally damaged hair, or condo units, preferably with a balcony and a spectacular view of the sunset.

You’re welcome.