Music, heartbreak & being male in ‘High Fidelity’

I am not really a bookworm. I usually prefer watching movie versions of books rather than reading the real thing.
Well, except for one book that my sister recommended: Nick Hornby’s High Fidelity.

It was a major transformation really when, after browsing through the first pages of the book, I found myself sitting and actually reading it. Since I’m not entirely bookish, I found it a pleasant surprise that I liked it very much.

If you are the type who stacks hundreds or even thousands of records, then High Fidelity will make perfect sense to you. Nick Hornby’s Rob is a thirtysomething romantic/record store owner/heartbroken bloke who wants to figure out how he can keep on track in his life. The book begins on a hilarious and totally sorry beat when Rob starts visiting his ex-girlfriends to figure out what went wrong in each of their relationships.

As a guy, I like the way Hornby writes about Rob – how he deals with the heartbreak from his one great love and everything that goes with experiencing loss and rejection to the background of Marvin Gaye.

His flashbacks and how he copes with losing something great deserve empathy. Hornby is witty and at the same time philosophical.

Somewhere in the book, he says that most people worry about kids playing with guns and teenagers watching violent videos but nobody worries about kids listening to thousands of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss.

I think anyone who has fallen into the pits of rejection and heartbreak takes a song – like another person taking to alcohol – to wallow in pain and drown the sorrows.

Like a Bob Dylan song, the story opens up room for escape from confusion to melancholy.

Nick Hornby is the perfect writer to capture the male psyche in the throes of rejection and pain. He is funny and he transforms life’s mishaps and tragedies into humorous footnotes.

"There should be a law of man if not of nature that you are allowed to age when things are ticking along nicely," says Rob.

When a customer visiting Rob’s record store asks, "Do you have soul?" Rob answers, "It depends." I liked this part too in Nick Hornby’s writing – its unconscious way of letting you in on the truth and writing about what every male species faces when life starts to turn to crap. The honesty is there – and always with a sense of humor.

The book also touched on the perils of being an adult and the challenges that go with it – job security and settling down. The author throws you splinters of truths that can hit you like paint ball. The writing makes truth an exciting thing. You know that at certain points you can escape from it but it always catches you by surprise one way or another.

Hornby writes about the issues of marriage, career and parents constantly meddling in life and the things we all have to put up with. The book is about every weakness and the confusing moments and how, in some sort of cosmic order, things eventually fall in their right places.

"You need as much ballast as possible to stop you floating away; you need people around you, things going on, otherwise life is like some film where the money ran out and there are no sets or locations or supporting actors and it’s just one bloke on his own staring into the camera with nothing to do and nobody to speak to."

It’s about how we deal with loneliness and how our constant search to find where we’re good at goes on and on.

Somewhere in the book, Rob finds a list of the things he had wanted to become when he was younger and nowhere did he find on the list his being a record store owner. But he did want to produce a record, which towards the end he is able to do with help from friends and Laura, his great love.

"Records helped me to fall in love, no question. I hear something new with a chord change that melts my guts and before I know it I’m looking for someone and before I knew it I found her."

The front cover of the book states that "if you are male, you should read it and make your partner read it so they will no longer hate you." That should pass off as another compelling reason to read and re-read High Fidelity.

The book begins with Rob listing his top five memorable heartbreaks and his top five songs.

As for me, here’s my list why High Fidelity’ is an insightful journey, teaching me that:

1) Relationships are hard but they’re worth the try;

2) There are events that lead us to where we can go;

3) It’s okay to be sad and confused;

4) Some things are better than we expect; and

5) When life gives you crap, put on some good music and let things sort themselves out.

All this and Marvin Gaye, too, make High Fidelity my favorite book.