Toxo and the science of possession by cats

For years we’ve been telling you about Toxo, a.k.a. Toxo plasma gondii, an extremely clever parasite that is found in cat poop. How clever can a parasite be if it resides in poop? Extremely.

Toxo is picked up from the soil by other animals — pigs, sheep, cows, and especially rats. This parasite then lives in their brains and tissues. Humans have the same genes as other mammals and may also harbor toxo.

Before you freak out and try to boil yourself or overdose on purgatives, relax. We don’t know if you have toxo. Touching cats won’t give you toxo, unless you somehow ingest their poop. While we’re on this subject, there are thousands of parasites living inside every human body. For the most part they are harmless.

So toxo lives inside its host until it’s time to reproduce. To do that it needs to return to a cat’s stomach. How will it do that? It may not seem like a huge distance to us but to a microscopic creature, it’s intergalactic travel. Here’s where the toxo is very clever.

Researchers believe that toxo alters its host’s behavior so the host, usually a rat, will get close to cats. Neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky found that toxo rewires rat brains so that the things that should trigger the fear circuits trigger the sexual arousal circuits instead. In short, when the rat smells cat pee it doesn’t get scared, it gets turned on. Literally a fatal attraction.

Instead of running away from a cat, the rat runs towards the cat, like Pinoy uziseros (usyosero) who run towards the sound of gunfire instead of fleeing for their lives. The foolhardy rat gets eaten by the cat, thus delivering the toxo parasite to the cat’s stomach, where it can reproduce sexually. (Although many well-fed cats will decline to have the rat for a meal and simply use it to practice their free kicks and drop goals).

In recent years researchers have been trying to establish whether toxo affects humans in the same way. Obviously we’re too large for cats to eat, unless they’re tigers or cinephiles reenacting The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. However, they’re attempting to link toxo to personality changes, road accidents. (Studies suggest that people with toxo feel fearless and invincible, causing them to have traffic accidents), and schizophrenia.

Many schizophrenics already think they are being controlled by spacemen, secret government agencies or some other external force, so this would mean they’re not paranoid.

The current issue of The Atlantic magazine contains a piece with the provocative title “How Your Cat Is Making You Crazy,” about a Czech biologist doing toxo research. This article has gotten 56,000 Facebook recommendations and elicited an op-ed piece in the New York Times, purportedly written by cats, admitting that Toxo is part of their plan for world domination. Cute.

Perchance to sleep: A regular at Momo Café, Ayala Traingle

Having lived with cats for many years, we can tell you that a cat would never admit to such a thing. For starters, they assume they already rule the planet, and there is little evidence to the contrary. Also, cats are the masters of denial. A cat could kick a vase off a shelf while you are watching, and still refuse to admit that they had anything to do with the breakage. A dog would instantly look guilty, even if he was outside the house when the deed took place. This was pointed out by an esteemed observer, the comedian George Carlin.

I asked my three feline housemates what they thought of The Atlantic’s piece, and they dictated this statement.

“We read with great interest the article on Jaroslav Flegr’s research on Toxoplasma gondii. Though the various hypotheses on the effect of Toxo on humans are fascinating, the findings are inconclusive and in many cases, the stuff of pulp science fiction. It reminds us of the Barsoom books by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the first of which was the basis of the John Carter movie. The novels are compelling and great fun, but we do not have to believe that there are tall green men with four arms apiece on Mars.

“Our species has lived in close proximity with humans for tens of thousands of years, ever since you invited our ancestors into your houses to get rid of rats. We have not changed much in all these centuries, and neither have you. You still prefer to attribute your behavior, thoughts and actions to outside forces instead of taking responsibility for them. Someone or something always makes you do it; you never do it of your own free will.

“So now you attempt to pin your traffic accidents, changes in your psychological states, recklessness, mental illness and megalomania on us. How droll.

“Fine, wee parasites in our poop account for all the major events in world history. You can’t think for yourselves, you can’t make big decisions, our poop does it for you. You are all possessed by our butts.

“Now can we have our foie gras cat treats?”

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In Pusakal news:

During the Philippine STAR-National Book Store Favorite Books Awards at the Peninsula Manila, guests stepping out of the Conservatory for a smoke were greeted by two cats patrolling the flower beds. These genial outdoor felines are among the strays adopted by the staff of the Pen. We noticed the containers of cat kibble that were left outside for them.

Across the street, at the restaurants in the Ayala Triangle Gardens, there are cats who befriend the diners at the outdoor tables, hoping for tidbits.  They seem well-behaved; we hope the staff at the gardens won’t round them up and send them into exile or worse. This one is particularly friendly — we usually see her outside Momo Café, hanging out with customers.