Lies my cleaning lady told me
Dear Home 911,
I am a wife and mother to two children. I suspect our maid is stealing from us. Some things, like money — couple of hundreds — and inexpensive jewelry that are lying around the house — go missing without explanation. One time I already turned the house upside down and still couldn’t find a pair of earrings that I so loved; they weren’t very expensive but they had sentimental value to me. The maid has been with us for three years and she’s good around the house, but I just don’t trust her anymore. How do I confront her?
Cely
Yes, Home 911 is back due to insistent private demand (my boss Millet and Lucien of advertising). It’s good to be back and part of my New Year’s resolutions is to be not too mataray in this column.
Anyway, to answer your question. Househelp are like spouses. They may be the best in the world but if you lose your trust in them, then that relationship is going to the dogs quickly.
How do you confront her? You don’t. Not without evidence. The way women do things — whether it’s about a cheating husband or a stealing maid — is this: Gather evidence first, then scream your head off. Don’t you watch all those FBI/CSI/CS shows? Evidence, evidence, evidence! Don’t you play poker? You never show a weak hand, sister!
Of course, this means having to go through her things. As much as going through somebody else’s private things is truly hateful, you have to do it if you’re a hundred percent sure she’s stealing and need to find evidence.
Make sure — in your heart and in your mind — that there is no other explanation except that she took your things, that they’re not just misplaced or your children played with them and put them somewhere else, or that you lost them at the office or the mall. I don’t need to tell you that good help is hard to find. Once your relationship with your maid is cast in doubt, well, you can pretty much say bye-bye to loyalty.
A few years ago, an aunt of mine was faced with the same situation. There was P5,000 in her bag that she left in the dining room. Only one of her three maids had entered the room. Ten minutes later, my aunt discovered the money was gone. The maid denied it vehemently, screaming at my aunt. My aunt called the police and together they searched the maid’s room — and true enough, the money was there.
“Everybody lies” — that’s what Dr. House says in his TV show. May I add that adults often make like children when faced with a bad situation? How many times have you said, “It wasn’t me”?
My cleaning lady, who comes twice a week to clean the house and do the ironing, is no exception. I trust her completely when it comes to money — I am what you would delicately call burara with valuables. She lies only about the appliances she breaks (“It wasn’t me”), who threw away tiny scraps of paper that contained appointment dates (“It wasn’t me”), and who left the gate open and let Alley the dog out (“It wasn’t me”).
She is also brutally frank. One time, she complained that my closet was too full and the clothes she had just ironed ended up being crumpled again because there was just no space. She tactlessly suggested that I remove the clothes that are already too small for me, saying, “Tumaba ka kasi eh.”
Don’t you just love a maid like that?
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Home 911 answers questions about the home — cleaning problems, DIY projects, decorating ideas, home store resources, and things you’ve always wanted to know about but never had the friends to ask. Home 911 runs twice a month and will ask the experts on your behalf. For questions and suggestions, e-mail philstar_home911@yahoo.com. Please include your first name/pseudonym. All questions will be answered through this column, appearing twice a month — Tanya is too lazy and too chatty to answer individually.
