What causes static electricity?

Dear Tanya,

What causes static electricity? Why do we get a little electric shock when we open filing cabinets or touch somebody’s hand?

Millet

This week, I’m answering friends’ questions about the home. The thing about doing this column is that when people, especially strangers, find out that I’m the Home 911 girl, they always have a question and expect an answer right away. I did an interview once and the interior designer introduced me to the homeowner who said, "Oh, I read your column. How do I choose the right poultice for marble stains?" Hell if I know. I can tell natural stones apart but poulticing is not exactly one of the things I file in my brain.

Anyway, back to static electricity. It used to be that we believed the only "electricity" humans produced was from chemistry, hence we describe a couple by saying "sparks flew between them."

When I met my husband R. many years ago at UP, the only sparks that flew between us were of irritation because I had insulted a TV script he was writing with a sorority sister of mine for an elective subject. I had breezed into the canteen of the mass comm building and within seconds of being introduced to him, I said, "That’s the stupidest plot I have ever heard." (It involved a security guard and a rich girl, so you understand my outburst.) Later, he told me his first thought was, "Who the hell is this bitch?"

Today, we know that chemistry between two people has nothing to do with sparks flying (it does, however, have a lot to do with alcohol consumption and the right lighting).

Static electricity is a stationary electric charge that occurs when materials, like wool on plastic or your socked feet on the carpet, are rubbed together, causing the electrical charges to build up on the surface and creating a spark. Two objects with opposite charges (positive and negative) are pulled together and two objects with the same charges are pushed apart. For instance, during dry weather (or in a room without windows and with re-circulated air), when we touch a doorknob, the extra electrons we accumulate (negatively-charged particles when we walk in our socks on the carpet) are discharged onto the doorknob.

Also, did you ever notice that when you’re wearing wool, there’s a bigger chance that you get a spark when you touch something or someone? (Sparks are a flow of electrons in the air.) So it’s strange to me that many airlines continue to use wool blankets when the climate inside an airplane is most definitely dry and people are given wool socks and many of them are already wearing wool. I once wore a wool blouse under the blanket and when I removed the blanket – well, it was like peeling off a month-long Band Aid.

How to eliminate static electricity? Ionizers or neutralizers emit a field of positive and negative ions that neutralize the static electricity present.

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Dear Home 911,

How do you get rid of creases created by hangers? My cotton tops have these unsightly creases on the shoulders that stand out when I wear them. If I fold them on a hanger, they’ll get in the middle as well.

Ivy

Are you using wire hangers? You’re going to cause an aneurysm in Queer Eye’s Carson Kressley’s brain if you are. Or are you using the thin plastic ones that have curves on top to hang spaghetti straps? We all have different sizes of shirts, and hangers come in different widths; choose ones that fit the shoulders of your tops perfectly. I use rounded plastic ones that I got from SM Supersale Club, which are smooth and wide (wooden hangers take up so much space). Of course, the best ones are wooden hangers, but I’m not sure if they come in different widths. If you have a big closet, use them. My colleague Joseph recommends wooden hangers from Robinsons Department Store – they come in threes for P80.

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Dear Tanya,

How do you get rid of pests in your life?

Gibbs

If you’re talking about the creepy, crawly kind, you must be referring to humans. They’re the most difficult things to get rid off – no amount of insecticide or flypaper can trap them so you can toss them in the garbage. Restraining orders are hard to come by, so just hope that giving them the cold-shoulder treatment will finally get your message across – you don’t want them in your life anymore. Getting rid of such pests is like trying to quit smoking: Do it cold turkey. If you’re talking about an ex, distance yourself, which means you don’t return their calls or respond to text messages no matter how lonely you are. We all have people like these at one point in our lives: They stalk you, they harass you, and they make asses out of themselves, which is actually amusing to watch if it happens to somebody else.

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Dear Tanya,

I buy coffee beans from the grocery and grind them at home. The problem is I don’t finish a bag quickly and the coffee hardens in the container. Is there any way to avoid this?

Nick

I’ve known you to blow your money on CDs and DVDs and you won’t even buy a decent container? Don’t be cheap! Yours probably doesn’t have a rubber seal in the lid, which makes moisture seep in. Canisters usually don’t do the job either. Choose a container with a rubber seal, or if you want to keep using what you have, put the coffee in a zip-lock bag and then put in your container. Speaking of zip-lock bags, aren’t those just great? You can put food that smells and your shampoos and things that leak in those bags when you travel.

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Dear Home 911,

I came home from a trip and found out that my bag, which is made from satin-like fabric, had a ballpen mark and so did the screen of my digital camera. How do you get rid of this?

Reckless

Funny how I had the exact problem a few weeks ago. I was nearly in tears since my bag was new. I was ready to sulk all weekend when my husband R. immediately fixed the problem. He put acetone on a cotton bud and worked it into the bag and the camera screen, and what do you know – the pen marks were gone right away. I asked him where he learned that trick and he gave me a look and said his mother used to do it when he used to come home from school with pen marks all over his things and didn’t my grandmother do that for me? Well, no. We had a fix-your-own-goddamn-problem attitude in the house if begging for a new thing didn’t work, which is probably why I turned out to be a compulsive thrower.

* * * Readers’ Corner

It seems unbelievable, but somebody did want to get Ms. Rat Pack’s hundreds of catsup packets (Home 911, July 2), which she felt guilty throwing away. I hope the two ladies have hooked up by now. She wants to mix them with her dogs’ food to give it a little flavor. I read somewhere that unlike humans, dogs can actually eat just their cereal all their lives. Try telling that to my dog Freeway, especially after we put her on a light-dog food diet because her ass just became so big that when air-con cleaners came to the house, one of them had the nerve to say he thought my dog was a pig. Hmp!

Another reader texted, defending the "spork." "It’s a great invention since it eliminates the need for another utensil and therefore it’s good for the environment. At least it’s better than chopsticks." Right. If you’re given one piece of chopstick, then I agree. But between a pair of chopsticks and one spork, I’d rather have the chopsticks. As I said, try eating pasta or pork chops with a spork and let’s see how you like it.

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Home 911 answers questions about the home – cleaning problems, DIY projects, decorating ideas, home store resources, and things you’ve always wanted to know about but never had the friends to ask. Home 911 runs twice a month and will ask the experts on your behalf. For questions and suggestions, e-mail philstar_home911@yahoo.com or text 0915-4002565. Please include your first name/pseudonym when you text or e-mail. All questions will be answered through this column – Tanya is too lazy and too chatty to text her answers.