Intimate questions about love and sex

Recently, I have been getting many questions regarding love, sex, and impotence. I will discuss these topics from a medical point of view.

 Q. What is the difference between impotence and infertility?

A. Impotence (also called erectile dysfunction) is the inability to maintain an erection, while infertility refers to the inability to fertilize and produce babies. A man can be sexually potent and yet be shooting blanks (infertile).

 Q. What causes impotence?

A. According to Dr. Rafael Castillo, past president of the Philippine Society of Hypertension, alcohol, cigarette smoking, and diabetes can lead to erectile problems. Believe it or not, smoking can affect the arteries of the penis and reduce the blood flow needed to maintain a good erection. Alcohol may increase the sexual desire, but it leads to poor performance in bed. For diabetics, take note that five years of uncontrolled blood sugar can make a person impotent. 

 Q. I take a long time in sex and have difficulty ejaculating. What’s the solution to this?

A. What’s the most sexual organ in the body? Actually, our most sexual organ is the brain. That is why you need full concentration and the stimulation of all the senses in order to ejaculate faster. Make use of all the senses (sight, smell, hearing, odor, and taste) and the mind, too. I leave this to your imagination. 

 Q. What drugs can be used to treat impotence?

A. These prescription drugs include Sildenafil 50 mg tablet, Vardenafil 10 mg tablet, and others. All drugs are taken 30 minutes to one hour before the sexual act and can only be taken once a day under the supervision of your doctor.

 Q. Aside from drugs, what else can be used to treat impotence?

A. There are other medical techniques like: 1) pellets inserted in the urethra, 2) penile injections, 3) vacuum therapy, and 4) penile implants. With vacuum therapy, a cylinder is placed over the penis. Then by withdrawing air, a vacuum is created mechanically, enhancing the flow of blood into the penis. A last resort is a penile implant, which is composed of two inflatable balloons implanted inside the penis. Ask your urologist about these options.

 Q. How much sex is normal for my age? I’m 24 years old.

A. The normal sex drive for men is related to the surge of testosterone, which starts during puberty, peaks in the early 20s, then slowly declines thereafter.

Dr. Eduardo Gatchalian, a urologist and past president of the Philippine College of Surgeons, candidly says, “At 20, you can have sex three times a day. At 40, you have sex three times a week. At 60, you have sex only thrice a month. At 70, he tries and tries. And at 80, he tries to remember.”

 Q. I masturbate daily. Is this bad for my health?

A. Dr. Gatchalian says there is no physical harm in masturbation. There is also no medical risk involved and it should not be considered a sexual perversion. However, we should be more concerned about the psychological problem that may result because the person may become too self-centered and concerned about his gratification only.

We advise those who are obsessed with masturbation to divert their attention to other matters. Engage in sports, have a hobby, and enjoy your work. Try to avoid temptations, like movies, magazines, and TV shows that stimulate your sex drive.

 Q. How can I make my partner happy?

A. For women, having sex is not about sex alone. Ladies like to be pampered with things that come from the heart, like giving flowers, frequent “I love you’s,” and the rest of the package. You have to remember her birthday, your anniversary, or you’ll definitely hear about it in the morning.

What about guys? How do you make men happy? Simple. It’s just pleasurable sex. This is the fundamental difference between the male and the female brain.