Beautiful lessons moms teach their daughters

My daughter, Francesca, was barely five years old when we moved to New Zealand on a long-term assignment.  She loved it.  Her new friends found her different but engaging, admiring her native stories (in her strange accent) and her talent in painting, singing, and dancing.

One day, however, she came home with a pained expression on her face.  “Mama, why was I not born with blonde hair and blue eyes?”  I thought hard as the Jiminy Cricket in my head cautioned me, “Easy now, this is one of those ‘make it or break it’ moments.  Don’t foul up.”

 I sat Chessy down and said, “Anak, if you were blonde and blue eyed, you won’t look like a Filipino.  People would therefore think you are not my daughter.  Would you want to throw away what made you unrivaled and beyond compare?”  Wincing, she blurted out, “Eeek!  No way.”   To build up my point, I went to my neighbor who called out to Chessy, “My sweet child, don’t you know that I’d give anything to have your sun-kissed complexion?  It’s the only ‘brown as a berry’ (suntanned) loveliness that I’d swap places with.”  Chessy giggled, blew me a kiss, and pranced back to her cherry pink playhouse.  

End of drama. Whew!

Mother and daughter.  There has never been any relationship that has gone through scores of delight, confusion, upheavals, insights, high-octane theatrics, and revelation with words dispensed, accepted or not.  In some instances, both tend to hang on to a few words and fill in the rest with the fluff of the imagination.

But who can dispute that a mother was custom-molded by nature and by instinct to be the first teacher, the first ego booster, and the first inspiration and muse for all young girls?

For Dove, a product that has logged years to improve the appearance of the body, especially the face, it has become a rallying point.  From a campaign called “I Am Beautiful” that was launched a year ago, primarily to promote, encourage, and inspire the boundless beauty in each girl, it moved to the vital role of the mother in every girl’s fate, harnessing the power and influence of the “hand who rocks the cradle.”

Bringing impetus to this cause, celebrity moms were asked to share their personal experiences:

 Maricel Laxa, family advocate, lived in the shadow of her father, a famous action film star; Christine Jacob was a star athlete in swimming and wrestled with that gnawing issue of children being compared to their parents, or vice-versa; TV personality Tintin Bersola grappled to break the mold that “if you’re fat, you’re ugly.”  ??      

To lend insight, noted child psychologist Dr. Honey Carandang gave a clinical assessment of what these ladies shared, pointing out the crucial role they played in the different stages of their daughters’ growth and development.  “From ages 5 until 7, girls begin to develop their self-concept; if they are guided and taught well, they build up their self-worth, a shield against character bashers,” said Honey.  ?? 

How does one break through the barrier of insecurities?  By rallying to the defense that every child is distinct, a cut above the rest, although she can also exhibit some zany traits picked up from her parents.  The fact that Maricel, Christine, and Tintin took the cue from their own mothers, applying what they were taught or raised with, bolstered this observation.

“Emphasize and celebrate each child’s amazing attributes,” vouched Maricel.  “Listen and choose your words carefully,” urged Christine, while Tintin encouraged self-respect, “harbor no guilt in loving or treating yourself well.”  

For the flaws — which are aplenty — dispense a timely reminder that no one was born perfect and there are ways to downplay them:  Highlight that infectious smile, those sparkling eyes that capture innocence and impeccability, your graceful bearing and that drop-dead vivacity, humor, and charm plus other wholesome traits that emphasize your better nature (the capacity for tolerance, generosity, and sympathy; seeing the light through the cracks; and an honest, compassionate heart).   

Above all, nothing mirrors and reflects beauty than the goodness one nourishes inside.

The I am/We are Beautiful drive had already transformed 15 million girls by its unflinching enthusiasm, and zeal.  May it burn like a beacon, wider, further and farther!