A hero makes life better for all
You have two choices in life: to be a hero who rules your personal and professional life and generously helps others; or to be a submissive, harassed, harmed or injured victim whose human potential is bruised and weakened.
Many times you picture yourself as a hero — you save lives and properties, and your exploits are larger than life. You are admired for your bravery, exceptional feats or noble traits. As an everyday hero, you’re an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles, crises, challenges or even opportunities. You are calm, in control of situations and are at your finest whenever your services are needed. You desire to be a hero, but there are times that you bungle up. You get depressed, frustrated, angry, bitter, powerless or hopeless without too much provocation. After you become suffocated with all these negativities, you struggle to reclaim the hero in you.
A victim mentality is prevalent in many companies. The results vary: lost productivity, lack of creativity and departmental squabbling, among many others. You tell three types of victim stories: people stories — “my boss was such a jerk”; situation stories — “my life is so rough and tough”; and self-stories — “I am weak, I can’t do it.” This frame of mind contributes big time in the creation of a venomous environment. Nobody has to or deserves to be a victim. “Victimhood” is just an interpretation of reality — a story you tell yourself. But in truth, you can choose to tell a different story. You can stop seeing yourself a helpless, hapless prey and instead discover how to put yourself in command.
In the book Be the Hero, executive coach and corporate speaker Noah Blumenthal shares the story of Jeff, a young average guy facing daunting challenges. He resents his job, hates the condition of his marriage and is fed up about every facet of his life. Jeff encounters Martin, a pal from the past who places him under his care and teaches him constructive methods he can employ to recast his unenthusiastic outlook of the world. All these involve changing the basic “narratives” he is involuntarily feeding himself and the other characters in the allegory.
Martin uses his own experiences and that of certain “heroes” he has met in his own journey to help Jeff understand how people create and control their reality to achieve a more rewarding life. Martin makes Jeff see the world not through rose-colored glasses but through new lenses, which allow Jeff to look beneath the superficial surface of his unhappiness, to discover why he acts in frustrating ways and to determine what he can do about them. Since you will likely recognize shades of your own persona in Jeff and the challenges he encounters in his busy, fast-paced, stressful professional life, be motivated to call your “inner hero” and react more optimistically in the face of misfortune. Blumenthal offers these reachable principles to prevail over lethargy and anguish and morph into a consistently positive, productive “you” — happy with yourself and your work.
When you adopt a “victim mindset,” you tend to concentrate on your own pain and how others have mistreated you. This behavior magnifies your aggravation, annoyance, resentment or discontent. It positions a stumbling block in your path and prevents you from putting your best foot forward. In such situation, look around you and see what kind of hurdles the other person has. Observe his pains. Even if some people hurt you, think of the worst pain they might be going through. This modification in your perspective will permit you to have empathy, think more clearly and exercise greater control over your response.
It is easy to get caught up in your cravings. You desire a beautiful house, a great job, a grand vacation, a big promotion and a peaceful married life. When your wishes eat you, you lose the energy you need to answer with optimism, to bear heroic actions. Discover something to celebrate. Commemorate the best. Embrace the best elements in your life, nurture what you love most about your work, always take a moment to show your grateful heart. All these can give you the push you need to be the person you aim to be.
When crisis strikes, it is easy to get thrown off your game. No one would blame you for not being at your best. In fact, this moment is also your greatest opportunity to be heroic. The next time someone tells you they have bad news or something is about to hit the fan, tell yourself, this is my time. This is my moment to be a hero.
One mark of an everyday hero is calmness and poise in disturbing events. This could be when someone cuts you off in traffic, criticizes you or offers you a demanding assignment. When your inner thermometer go from room temperature to scalding hot in a jiffy it helps to have techniques ready to quiet the simmer inside. Laugh it off. Literally, break into a big smile and give a little chuckle. Life is full of surprises. Remember that the pain, anger, fear, thrill or excitement won’t last forever. It’s just a momentary surge. Go “ha, ha, ha” at it. You’ll feel better quick.
Sometimes the “ha, ha, ha” needs a partner. Something to ease, pacify and facilitate clear thinking. Practice correct breathing — the basic practice of counting one to 10 before making a move or a decision continues to operate well. Even in dialogue, silence works to your advantage most of the time. While you focus on your breathing, others will disclose more of their ideas and opinions and you better be prepared to voice yours.
Most of the things worth doing in this world had been declared impossible before they were done. Wise words from former US Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis. Believe in possibility. Be the person who performs the things worth performing. Reject the word “impossible.” You must believe unceasingly — against all odds, against the better judgment of friends, family, colleagues and even supposed “experts” — that what you imagine can be captured.
Even a hero gets stuck. Channel your hero. Look up to him for the answer. Be clear about your source of inspiration, the ideas you respect and who own them, and the best innovator you know and emulate. The next time you feel stuck, ask yourself what those people would do given your situation. Often you will find that when you can’t come up with your own answers, you will find more creative solutions when you assume the thinking cap of those you revere.
Being a hero can be tough. Some responsibilities are gigantic to even think about. If assessing the end goal is crushing, focus on the starting place. All you really need to do is take one step to move you forward. Sometimes taking a single step can turn into an incredibly heroic act. It’s not easy being the hero. And it’s not easy being the victim either. Being the hero comes with a lot more fringe benefits. Next time the world seems piled against you, view it as your time to shine.
There are three things to remember to be a hero: recognize your stories, build a community of heroes around you, and take actions to encourage the hero in you. But in the end, you can go with Maya Angelou’s take that a hero is any person really intent on making this world a better place for all people.
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