It's not what you say; it's what people hear

Are you really listening or are you just waiting for your turn to talk? —Robert Montgomery

It may sound like a sweeping claim but you’ve simply become more suspicious of everyone and everything around you brought about by years and years of accumulated experience. You and your compatriots are skeptical now more than ever. You don’t trust government institutions to look after your welfare.  You think financial companies will squander your money, a thought made even stronger with savings and rural banks closing down and trapping the hard-earned cash of depositors. Pharmaceutical firms put profits over patient benefits, even while some branded medicines have started to reduce their prices. Politicians deceive, eroding your faith in who they are and what they are mandated to do. Government officials in high and supposedly respectable positions are tried for graft and corruption, betraying public trust. Lawyers become liars to win a case, men in uniform abduct more than protect, and corporations and their product managers stop at nothing for a quick buck.

Advertising and sales pitches fall on deaf ears. You look inside yourself and listen to the little voice in your head as you watch the primetime news, read an opinion column or pay attention to the barking of a mall salesman as he explains the features of the product he is pushing.  Your response in all these situations is predictably satirical and goes something like, “Oh, come on, is that true?” The reaction drives home a more serious outlook. You are surrounded by lies.  You’ve become jaded, crestfallen by the messages you hear, and you’ve converted into a very disbelieving creature.

Trust is dead. That’s the main thesis of The Language of Trust: Selling Ideas in a World of Skeptics, a book authored by Michael Maslansky with Scott West, Gary DeMos, and David Saylor. It shares valuable information on how to use language to cancel out the cynicism brought to bear by an environment littered with an overdose of “spin” coming from individuals and institutions.

“A skeptic is someone who challenges ideas in search of the truth. Thanks to the wonders of the online platform, you have more information than ever before to guide your search for the truth. You’ve seen behind the curtain and know how marketing, advertising and public relations work.  You really don’t want to be told what to think and you’re unimpressed by hype and spin. And to top it all off, you have much shorter attention spans,” Maslansky explained. This means you have less time than ever before to build credibility and trust.

Undoubtedly, today’s publics have access to more information and more perspectives. Big organizations and housebound bloggers find themselves on equal ground in the battle for attention and credibility. And for every data and statistic that supports one side of an argument, a quick and easy Google search can expose an equally forceful alternative look at the world. Communicators hoping to make a sale or close a deal must establish credibility first. Communicating in this challenging milieu requires more than selling products and services or telling stories. The only way to reach consumers who have become more sophisticated and skeptical is to re-establish and re-establish trustworthiness. And doing so necessitates a whole new language — the language of trust.

Riveting Backstory B

ased on more than 10 years’ worth of research into how consumers and the public act emotionally in response to whatever form of communication stimulus, the book made careful investigations of new words, new phrases, and new communication techniques to address situations characterized by a “failure to communicate.” The study revealed critical data on how your publics think and react, and how this new approach to communication can help you sell your ideas, your beliefs, your story, and even your own persona. But most importantly, the book offers language usage tools that build or rebuild trust, using the facts, actions, and records that are on your side, and the desired acceptance.

In reality, you can’t close your eyes to “lack of trust” issues being hurled by your publics. A strategy of silence on your part can translate to an admission of guilt, and every second you delay telling your own story, an authentic one, that is, makes it worse. In all of the confusion, you forgot how to talk to people genuinely. You forgot how to put others first. You’ve been so occupied justifying your words and actions that you overlooked taking the blame.

The 4ps of credible communication

In dealing with skeptics, Maslansky laid out four principles of credible communication. These are simple beliefs that can help you get back in the post-trust era.

Be personal. Communication is about your publics, and never about you. Selling your idea has little to do with you, what you’re offering or your ideas. It has everything to do with them and what they believe, think and want. So when communicating with them, make it relevant, make it tangible, make it human, and make yourself real.

Be plainspoken. It’s your failure if your publics can’t understand or follow you. If that happens, they will turn their ears to someone else who’s easier to comprehend.  Keep in mind that they don’t know what you think they know. Simple doesn’t always mean short. In that case, it’s always better to use five words to tell a clear story than use two and leave people confused. Say enough but not too much. Sometimes the most effective way to build credibility and create an effective message is to stop talking.

Be positive. Negativity breeds contempt. Fear tactics and negative messages erode trust and push your publics away. It’s far better to be for them rather than against them.

Be plausible. Life isn’t perfect and neither is what you’re selling. Acknowledge the flaws of your big idea or breakthrough concept. Your publics believe they exist anyway. Tell them about the pros and cons of your proposition. Dial down self-congratulation and dial up authentic information.

Banned phrases

It is difficult to build trust and so easy to break it. In business and in life, you are often judged by the single phrase in a long document or the single line in a sales pitch that caused your publics to turn off or tune out. Many of the commonly used phrases listed below are well intentioned, but in the world of skeptics, they just don’t make the grade.

“Trust me.” Corollary phrases are “honestly,” “frankly,” or “to tell the truth.” People don’t want to be told what to think or to abandon their well-ingrained skepticism with a simple phrase. If you need your publics’ trust, at least give them a sense of what they will get in return.

“If I could promise you this, would you buy…?” This statement doesn’t work in today’s environment as it reveals that you put your own interests well above your public’s.

“I speak your language.” If you speak your publics’ language, speak it, don’t talk about it. If you don’t speak their language, telling them you do isn’t going to make much difference.

“I care about my customers.” Say you care and people will give you a litany of examples of companies that said the same thing only to disappoint them. So rather than saying that you care, make a subtle but important shift by talking about how you will demonstrate that care.

 “Our interests are aligned.” This statement is just a poor attempt to get your publics to believe that they are on the same side as yours.

 “I give guaranteed results.” Too much has failed your publics in the past. As a result of these failures, they reject the idea that anything in life can be truly guaranteed.

 “What you need to understand is…” Your publics don’t need to understand anything. They probably don’t need to own your idea or agree with you on a particular issue. So telling them this phrase is an effort that usually fails.

 “My hands are tied.” Trying to lay blame at someone else’s doorstep rarely works. It’s better to accept ultimate responsibility and then talk about how you will move forward and avoid a repeat of the experience.

 “This was taken out of context.” Your words can be manipulated to make you look bad. You have two choices in this situation. First, show the full statement and illustrate how your words were manipulated. Or accept the statement and find something else to discuss.

 “Act now or you’ll miss this opportunity.” People love opportunities, but they hate artificially created fear. Barging in with your own contrived sense of urgency destroys trust.

To bring back trust, you need bona fide communications built on integrity, clarity, compassion and recognition. “In this era of mistrust, organizational doublespeak and political maneuvering words are more important than ever. The significance of what you say takes a back seat to how you’re saying it. Your publics simply don’t focus on what you say, but on what they hear, or want to hear.

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E-mail bongosorio@yahoo.com or bong_osorio@abs-cbn.com for comments, questions or suggestions. Thank you for communicating.