Come out better, not bitter
A crisis can happen to anybody. When confronted with one, it is good advice not to waste the opportunity to face up to it. For all you know, you may come out of it better, not bitter. This is the premise upon which the book, Beyond Survival, is largely anchored. Written by Roger Collantes, an international learning leader and training expert, the tome generally assists you on how to deal with difficult situations, and specifically convinces you to embrace the reality of crisis in your life and look at it wearing positive lenses. If you are living under a culture of blame, fear, denial or helplessness, you will find this strikingly clever and charming book an essential read.
A crisis is a wobbly or critical time whose outcome will make a decisive difference for better or for worse. It is an instance ruled by threat and time pressure. Threat that can harm your integrity and reputation usually brought to bear by unfavorable attention, and time pressure that dictates a speedy but effectual way out of the crisis. It can be an everyday challenge, an individual setback that can be economic, psychological, emotional or spiritual in nature.
You will be routinely faced with a crisis. It can be self-induced or utterly random, or it may come as a big surprise, enough to knock you down. You are fortunate if you can tell the difference between attitude and behavior in routine situations versus attitude and behavior in crisis states. Your primary role is to determine how you react to crisis stimuli, come out of problem situations unscathed and are able to preserve personal and professional values. With motivation and know-how, you can manage a crisis rather than be its victim.
The book has several checklists, which include lessons in survival, moving beyond continued existence, building resilience, thriving mechanisms and other tips that can protect you from impeding doom or save you from a face-off with disaster. Early warning is also the theme of the book. This is supported by a clear discussion on the hard realities of crisis, including its downside and upside. From the stories told and the examples given, change is a common cause of crisis, and it will be prudent counsel for you to face the mirror every day and ask: “What has changed?”
A crisis always leaves you with two choices: to be proactive and prepare for them, or be reactive and face greater potential damage. Pro-activity calls for more thorough planning, a major component of which is a carefully thought-out road map. Here are some guideposts culled from the book embellished by this writer’s own crisis battles:
Know thyself. Do a vulnerability audit, a detailed self-inspection and introspection designed to identify potential crises before they occur. You must be aware of your weak points and work on them. Bad things can happen, even to good people in this age of permitted discontentment.
Determine whom you are dealing with. Do you care about your family, friends, business partners, officemates and community fellows? Each one of them requires specific approaches and demands spot-on information. You must be familiar with them — their eccentricity and normality, their bad side and good side — and be ready to deal with them the best way you can.
Recognize that there are many roads that you can tread. There is no one best approach to crisis handling. In fact, you will discover that there are many effective ways to achieve your goals. Other individuals may be as simple or as complex as you are. This is a reality you must embrace. And as you do this, accept that a basic approach may be complicated to others and vice versa.
Consider doing your own crisis simulations. Run them in strange surroundings to test your level of flexibility and ability to adapt to unfamiliar characters, elements and situations. As you move on, bear in mind the aphorism of doctors when prescribing solutions — do not make the condition of the patient any worse.
Learn from the experiences of other people. Encourage information-sharing and open-mindedness among your family members, friends and peers. You can even extend to others who may benefit from them. This will allow for a freer flow of helpful knowledge and skills.
Approach problems with spontaneity. Solutions must involve the recipient — and that could very well be you. It is astounding what you can learn when you engage in conversations and storytelling. This is true whether you do it face-to-face or through a social network. If you ask for advice on how to handle a crisis, don’t be surprised to get volumes of information.
Simplify, demystify and de-jargonize complex issues. It will bring you confidence in your approach to life. Remember these statistics: the ear takes in barely 35 percent of what it hears and retention after a week can be as low as 10 percent.
Crisis responses must not be carved in stone. They go forward. For sure, you will not know the answers to all questions that will confront you during periods of difficulty. Just be aware of what you care about, what you know can help and what actions you will take.
Rebuild from the broken blocks of your reputation. Damage control is all about repentance, rising from the fall and running again. Thumping the brakes on bad karma requires more than just simple tweaking. It calls for calculated calm, candor or the honesty to take the necessary responsibility, the courage to stand up, take responsibility and get at the source of the problem.
A crisis is never a pleasant experience, but after the dust has settled, steps can be taken to turn the crisis into a positive learning experience. It goes beyond assessing a social, political or financial loss. You should ask: How has the crisis affected the opinions of the people you relate to? What is their perception of you? What do they think or believe about the crisis you’re going through, after what they read, heard or been told about it?
When thrown into the crisis spotlight, facing pressure and struggling for survival, how should you respond? Experts, including Collantes, generally agree on these positive actions: respond immediately, accept responsibility, re-establish credibility, go the extra mile, be patient and make it personal. In such a dire state you should not act aloof, hide, be tongue-tied, get into the blame game, cover up and forget the past.
Crisis indeed is never fun, but the most basic lesson in handling is “to always do the right thing.” It is not only the socially and morally responsible thing to do, it is usually the best thing for you to survive and thrive.
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E-mail bongosorio@yahoo.com or bong_osorio@abs-cbn.com for comments, questions and suggestions.
Roger Collantes’ Beyond Survival is available in National Book Store. Thank you for communicating.
