Should she blow the whistle?
Dear Nanay,
I have a suspicion that my boss is receiving kickbacks from our suppliers. According to our Corporate Governance Policy bawal iyon. (It is forbidden.) Should I tell our governance officer of our big boss? I am afraid that I might get fired.
Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
Mahirap magsumbong kung naghihinala o may kutob ka lang (It’s difficult to tell on someone if all you have to go on is a hunch). You should have proof. You cannot go around accusing people and destroying their reputation if you are not sure. There may be many things going on that you are not aware of. At sa tingin ko, mali rin yung magkalat ka ng tsismis sa opisina (it’s wrong to spread rumors in the office) — proof or no proof. You might ruin the person’s reputation and if you are wrong, you cannot take it back anymore.
Having said that, maybe you should go talk to your governance officer. Before you tell him anything, ask for a copy of the rules and read them. Big companies with Corporate Governance Departments will probably have a very clear set of rules regarding someone who is a whistleblower. There will probably be some kind of protection clause for you. Parang yung “witness protection program” iyan nung mga nagtetestigo (similar to those who testify) in a court trial.
After you read the rules, if you are comfortable with the arrangements, then tell your governance officer what you know. Be honest and factual. He is the one who will be able to tell you what you should do next. Let him take the initiative kasi kasama talaga iyon sa trabaho niya (because it’s part of his job).
Sincerely,
Nanay
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They Want To Go Their Separate Ways
Dear Nanay,
My husband and I have been married for six years. Unfortunately we want to go our separate ways now. The only thing keeping us together are our two children. For their benefit we have tried for years to keep our marriage intact but unfortunately it is not working. We are always both sad and fighting. The worst part is that we end up fighting in front of the children and it really breaks my heart to see them crying because of it. Should we finally give up and just separate? It seems like it is inevitable.
M.F.
Dear M.F.,
I would not give up so easily. I think it is good that you have been trying to make it work for years, but maybe you need to try a little longer. Don’t give up the fight yet. Marriages, like any relationship, need to be worked on. So I think you have to keep working at it.
Keep trying. Kaunti pang sakripisyo, alang-alang sa mga anak ninyo (Sacrifice a little more for the sake of the kids). It is never too late. There is no problem so big that it cannot be solved if both parties are willing to try.
At the very least, while you are trying to work out your situation, do not fight in front of your children. If you feel a disagreement coming, one of you should just walk away. Go outside if you have to; do not argue in front of the kids. Kung masakit sa puso mo na umiiyak sila nang dahil sa inyo, siguradong mas masakit para sa kanila panoorin na nagkakaganyan kayo (If it breaks your heart seeing them cry, it hurts them more to see you fighting). Maybe you should also go see a marriage counselor or your parish priest. They might be able to help you.
It is difficult for children for their mother and father to separate. As I said, you should keep trying to stay together for their sake.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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