The business of getting a life

A couple of weeks ago, I had lunch with my good friend Dada and her two colleagues from Paramount Insurance, Jomel and Bimbo. The lunch was set up as sort of a despedida for Dada who is set to leave for Florida to pursue a career in nursing. Dada is a licensed nurse, but decided to get into insurance and real estate instead, and she has been quite successful. Recently, she was informed that her application to practice as a nurse in the States has been approved. I am happy for her, since not everyone gets that opportunity. But at the same time, I felt orphaned. "Who’s going to take care of my account now?" I asked her. She assured me that I will be in good hands.

Looking back, it amazes how me our friendship started out. It was a cold call. I had a life Insurance policy with Aegon, which I intended to terminate because I was informed that Aegon had been taken over by Paramount. I called Paramount and was referred to Dada. She asked me to reconsider my decision. She set a meeting with me and when we got together, she told me about how I could convert my term life insurance into a great plan called Universal Life, a plan that gives me the flexibility of enjoying the benefits out of my life insurance while I am still alive.

Universal Life is split into two components: the cash value and the life insurance. The two components are independent from each other. The plan gives me the power to dictate what amount of my premium goes to the investment portion (the benefits from which I can use as some kind of pension when I get older) and what amount goes to the life insurance component (so, if I want to have my beneficiaries to have more money when I croak, I could increase my contribution to this portion).

For other plans, you have to buy more insurance to increase your cash value. In this plan, you have the option what to contribute in each component. Also, you can withdraw up to 10 percent of your cash value anytime, without borrowing against the policy. I think it’s a very creative package, certainly better than your usual standard term life insurance where the only way you get any financial benefit is in when you’re dead. And we all know it’s no fun to have money when you’re dead, right?

Personally, I felt that a Universal Life policy is a good deal, because I ensured myself of "getting a life" – and not just a lump sum monetary benefit for my beneficiaries when I move on to the other side. I wanted to make sure that I have the option to enjoy the benefits of my savings with my family in the future and not be limited to the condition that I have to be six feet under before I get to enjoy it. As I pondered on my good investment, I reflected on that modern-day adage which we often here these days: "Get a life!"

We often hear that phrase these days, don’t we? "Get a Life!" Why do we say it? Aren’t we all living already? If so, why do we need to get a life? It would seem to me that the phrase is more appropriate for dead people. Those people literally need to get a life.

Of course we all have an idea what the phrase means. It’s really an exhortation to enjoy and make the most of your life. We normally say this phrase to people who are working too hard – people who do nothing but work. We tell people that they have no life anymore, and that they should get a life. That is, get away from work and do something new, fun and enjoyable.

But is that all there is, folks? Is life all about working hard, then striving to get a life? That is, pursuing the life of happiness – partying, enjoying and not having a care in the world. I know a lot of people who do nothing but party and do carefree activities. They don’t look very happy to me.

True, there is wisdom in saying, "get a life" to a person who seems to be overwhelmed with work. But I think the more accurate thing to say is, "Hey, why don’t you rest first?" Personally, I think there’s something wrong in the way we use the line "Get a life."

For one thing, I think it has a very selfish tone. When you tell someone to get something, you’re trying to exhort someone to grab or take something. At work, we’re all already busy trying to earn, take, grab and receive. And more often than not, it’s all earning, grabbing, and taking money. Which is not a bad thing really. Money makes the world of business go round. But when we feel a friend of ours needs a break, do we really have to continue to be in this get-or-take frame of mind? Notice the words we use: "Get a life"; "Take a break"; "Get some sleep"; "Take a breather."

Why can’t we just say, "Hey, you should rest" or "Hey, slow down and relax a bit"? Why are we so predisposed to taking and getting, even during rest time? I really think there’s something odd there, don’t you think?

Secondly, I’m not sure if the line "Get a life" is the right thing to say when we try to advise people to chill out from all the hustle and bustle. Bear in mind that the word "get" means "to take." But curiously, if you replace the word "get" with the word "take," in the line "Get a life," the exhortation takes on a whole new meaning. "Take a life" means to kill someone. Don’t you think it’s really odd that while "get" and "take" mean the same thing (they are actually synonyms if you check the thesaurus) to "take a life" has a totally different meaning, almost opposite in fact, from the phrase "get a life"?

I’m just thinking out loud here. I know what you must be thinking – "This guy’s really wacko with his logic!" I know I am pilosopo in a way. But let me assure you I am not trying to start an argument here on how we have bastardized the English language and that we’re using our words the wrong way. We can still say things the way we usually do because by now, we’re all so used to it – we all know what we’re saying to each other anyway. But I’m just trying to drive a point here.

Somehow, in the course of time, we’ve managed to confuse and interchange the word "give" with the words "take" and "get." In the office, when you’re told to "take some time to orient the new hires," what is really being asked of you is to "give some of your time in training the newbies." When your boss tells you, "Get going!" what he’s really saying is "Give your best shot and work hard." I’m not really sure, but in a way, I think this interchanging of "give" and "take" affects the way we see things. We always see the world in reference to what we can take or get, rather than what we can give and offer.

In the world of business, it may seem that taking, getting and grabbing is the name of the game. "We have to get that sale done." "We need to take over that company." "We have to grab every opportunity to expand our market." But if you look closely, business really revolves around giving and offering. By offering the best products and services, we can get the sale done. By giving all we’ve got and working hard, we can earn a profit and get a just share. By offering our time and talent to people, we will be able to grab every opportunity that comes our way.

In my business dealings, I have come to realize that the more time you give to people, the more you get in return. I know it sounds cliché, but giving is really much better than getting. Getting is only a by-product of what we give out.

I know this sounds more like a Sunday lecture rather than a business article, but really, in business just as in everyday life it’s important to know that it is in giving that we receive. We reap what we sow. When we give, we always get back – sometimes a hundredfold. So really, our attitude in life should always be in the giving mode, not in the taking mode. There’s too much of that going on already.

Always remember: Try to be in the giving mode first before you even try to get into the get mode. The bottom line in business is not all about what we have and what we can get. It’s all about what we can offer and give.

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Thanks for all your letters! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com.