The business of being specific

My brother Nilo and our good friend Mawi went to Hong Kong a few years ago on a package tour. Included in their package was complimentary breakfast in a nearby Chinese restaurant, for which they got stubs. The next day upon waking up they got their stubs and went to the said restaurant. They were famished so they were looking forward to their first free breakfast.

The restaurant was nothing fancy, but at that point they were so hungry, they were willing to eat anything. The place was managed by an elderly Chinese man who apparently didn’t speak a word of English. The restaurant was run canteen style, that is, you had to get a tray and fall in line, give your stub and the man behind the counter would give you the "standard package tour meal." Nilo and Mawi did just that. Nilo was given his tray of food and Mawi was given his own. However, Nilo noticed that Mawi was given a piece of bread by the Chinese man. He looked at his own tray and he wondered why he wasn’t given any bread. As he is not the complaining type, Nilo just kept quiet and they went to their table. When they were seated, he said to Mawi, "Maw, weird ah…ba’t ikaw binigyan ng bread? Ako wala."

Mawi, being the type who complains whenever he doesn’t feel right about something, said, "Oo nga ‘no! Lugi ka. Reklamo ka!"

Nilo replied, "Huwag na, bread lang naman ‘yan eh." But Mawi couldn’t accept it. "Hindi, reklamo ka! Hingin mo ‘yung bread. Binayaran mo na yan! Sige, kung ayaw mo, ako mag-rereklamo para sa iyo."

Mawi called the Chinese manager. Since the manager couldn’t speak English, Mawi had to use basic words and sign language. Pointing to his bread, Mawi told the manager with a stern voice, "Look, my plate, with bread." Then, pointing to Nilo’s tray, he said, "His tray, no bread." He then made a gesture with his hands, as if saying, "How’s that?" or "What are you going to do about it?"

The Chinese manager looked at Mawi’s tray and then looked at Nilo’s, and making a quick nod to signify that he understood what Mawi was trying to say, he took Mawi’s bread and walked away.

Stunned, Nilo and Mawi just looked at each other for 10 seconds in utter disbelief. Then Nilo quipped, "O ‘yan, pantay na tayo. Kain na." Mawi just shook his head and ate his package tour breakfast quietly.

While the story above is hilarious, there is a valuable lesson we can get: Beware what you ask for – you just might get it. The lesson can also be summed up as follows: When you ask for something, or complain about something, be sure to be very specific. If not, you might end up getting what you asked for – but not exactly what you wanted.

The story above demonstrates how poor communication of what you really want can result in your getting into a worse situation. There are a lot of jokes about these types of misunderstanding. There’s this joke about a man who had one normal leg and one short leg. The man chanced upon a bottle and when he rubbed it, a genie came out and he told the man to make a wish. The man said, "Great! Make my legs of the same length!" Boom! When the smoke cleared, the man’s normal leg was shortened to match the length of the short, abnormal leg. He got his wish alright – but it wasn’t exactly what he wanted. Since he phrased his wish vaguely, he got duped. He only had himself to blame.

But guess what, this situation happens in the real world. I’ve been in the corporate world long enough to know that asking in a vague manner oftentimes leads to worse situations for the person who is requesting.

I once had a friend who was very unhappy with his job. He was complaining about his lack of pay, his long overdue promotion, the poor working environment, the lack of professionalism, everything! Everything in his career was wrong. So I told him, "Why don’t you raise it to your boss? The best way to address your grievances is to simply to ask for what you really want. You may not get what you want right away, but at least your boss knows how you feel." My friend said, "You’re right. I will write him tomorrow."

Next thing I knew, my friend was looking for work. I inquired about the circumstances of his sudden and unexpected departure from the company. Apparently, he told his boss what he felt about his situation and asked what the boss was going to do about it. So, the boss said, "Well, if that’s what will make you happy – OK, I accept your resignation." It appeared that the boss misconstrued my friend’s expression of unhappiness as wanting to leave rather than wanting the boss to improve his pay and his professional situation. But hey, if you really think about it, he got what he asked for. He asked his boss what he would do about his situation, and the boss responded by saying, "OK, I’m letting you go." My friend had too much pride to say he was misconstrued, so he ended up in the ranks of the unemployed, all because he asked in a vague manner.

A few years ago, I was running a TV production and events company. I closed a major sponsorship deal with a client who agreed to pay a certain amount in exchange for media values. During the negotiation, I gave the client the right to put up six streamers. The client then asked me, "Can I put eight streamers? Sige na, tawad." And I said, "Sure, no problem." When he went to the event, he saw his eight streamers and beamed with delight. But then he noticed that another company, who was in the same sponsorship level as he was, had 10 streamers. He asked me, "Hey Rod, how come your other sponsor has 10 streamers and I only have eight? Didn’t we come in at the same level of sponsorship?" I told him, "Yes, you did. But you asked me if you could put eight streamers. So I thought you only had eight streamers. But if you asked how many streamers can you put up, I would have answered that you can put up ten." Embarrassed, the sponsor called his staff to bring two more streamers.

Of course, learning from that experience, whenever we do events for clients nowadays, we tell the sponsors how many streamers they will each get. That way, all of them are made aware and we avoid selosan among clients. The client who got eight streamers didn’t phrase his question well. He got what he asked for – he was able to put up eight streamers. But then he didn’t get what he really wanted, which was maximum exposure. Thankfully, the situation was easily addressed.

So, before you ask a question. Think…and think hard. What you ask for is what you will most likely receive. And after that, there can be no turning back.

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Thanks for all your letters, folks! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com.