Follow your road
August 21, 2002 | 12:00am
My brother Nilo and our good friend Mawi always get into useless debates. Their personalities and views couldn’t be more different. I bet they were husband and wife in a previous life. Anyway, a recent debate started when Nilo commented how some priests have lately gotten into sex scandals and how he "pitied" priests because of the sacrifices they make to stay committed to their vows. Mawi, with a sardonic look on his face, fired the first salvo: "Why do you pity them? I don’t. Ginusto nila yon eh!" To which Nilo contemptuously replied, "Ok, but even if they wanted it, you must admit, the path they chose is very difficult to live. I pity them because they have to go through quite a struggle in living the life they chose. " Mawi countered, "That’s my point. They chose that path, so dapat panindigan nila yon. I’m sure they chose that path because that’s what would make them happy."
And the debate went on and on until the wee hours of the morning, with neither side budging. The thing is, I always get in the crossfire while enjoying my beer. And to think I should be the opinionated one, being the only lawyer in the group!
I was thinking about this the other day when I noticed that there has been an increasing number of friends who have approached me lately, looking for a job or asking me for help in their struggle to find "a new road in life." Most of them left their jobs either because of issues with colleagues or they were no longer happy.
I felt ambivalent about their situation: They have it hard because it’s no joke being out of work these days; on the other hand, as Mawi pointed out, ginusto nila yon eh – they left their respective companies because they felt their happiness lay somewhere else. I’m sure given a choice, these friends of mine would rather be working than looking for work.
One of the toughest things in life is that you don’t really know what will happen next. Ironically, that’s also what makes life interesting. I’d hate to watch a golf game knowing beforehand that Tiger will win by a playoff shot – even if I’m a Tiger fan. And I’d hate to go to a movie with a loud-mouthed moron beside me who has watched the movie, telling his seatmate what’s gonna happen next (I personally would like to lobby in the Senate to legalize capital punishment for these oh-so-irritating loonies).
Some of us make choices in life in the hope of reaching a certain goal. To that extent, I agree with Mawi – when we choose a path or a road in life, we do so because that’s where we think our greatest happiness lies. But no matter how well one chooses, no one really knows if his road will actually lead him to where he wants to go or if things will go as he planned them because the road one takes is never always a straight path. There are those unexpected turns; shit happens, you know – a lot of times! So the whole "ginusto nila yon" argument doesn’t really hold water anymore. Just because we chose a path and we experienced bad things doesn’t mean ginusto natin yon.
Going back to priests. They chose a path that requires them to be single all their lives. Is that tough? Sure. Do I pity them? No. I admire them. Sometimes you choose a tough and dangerous road – and so the suffering and the perils come with the territory. That’s why I don’t pity racecar drivers who die in car crashes because they chose life in the fast lane. But I do pity a girl who just happened to be going to school, waiting for a bus, when all of a sudden, a speeding jeep loses control and runs her over. Obviously, hindi niya ginusto yon. Or a hardworking guy who was doing his job diligently, when all of a sudden, he gets laid off because his CFO manipulated the numbers and now the company he is working for has filed for bankruptcy.
When we choose a road to take in our careers, we all end up with different types of roads. Some take the sigurista path – the typical road: striving to finish college and then applying with a big company. This is an EDSA type of road – a seemingly good and wide path and you know where’s it’s going and you’ll never get lost. But then again, the traffic is bad on this type of road and you’re stuck with everyone else trying to go the same way you’re going!
For those born in a family with a business, choosing to work with the family is like opting to take an Ayala-Avenue type of road – relatively easier to take, very smooth, well-maintained, and there are malls all around whenever you want to take a break. But it’s relatively short – and when you get out to other roads, you are not used to the tougher conditions and you could get flustered.
Then we have Skyway type of career path – smooth, well-maintained, not much traffic. It gets you to where you want to go quickly – but man, it costs an arm and a leg. People who take this road are the ones who have the luxury to take an MBA course abroad.
Then you have the Kennon-Road type – all the twists and turns, and the uphill climb – but in the end, when you reach Baguio, with the cool air and great atmosphere, you realize it was worth it.
The eskenita type of road is for guys who experiment with all types of companies – they either end up getting to their destination faster because maabilidad – or, because of all the experimenting, they end up lost. In the end, however, what’s important is this: Don’t stay put – follow your road and take all what the road offers. There will be bumps, twists and turns — and there will be many forks and paths to choose from. And there are roadside shops where you can rest. But whatever road you take, move on constantly and follow it. And hey, enjoy the ride!
One of my all-time-favorite songs is Pauline Wilson’s classic Follow Your Road. The lyrics go something like this: So many road that seem to lead out to the sea/I wonder which road will be the right one for me/Others may fall away, dead-ending left and right/But there is this ONE road that journeys far out of sight/Have you wondered where your road will lead you?/Maybe to a bright day of sunshine/Or to a starry night in heaven/Or it might be you’re afraid to go, afraid to go/But you have to follow your road – or you’ll never know, never know.
Thanks for all your letters – you can e-mail me at nepomucenor@mtv-asia.com.
And the debate went on and on until the wee hours of the morning, with neither side budging. The thing is, I always get in the crossfire while enjoying my beer. And to think I should be the opinionated one, being the only lawyer in the group!
I was thinking about this the other day when I noticed that there has been an increasing number of friends who have approached me lately, looking for a job or asking me for help in their struggle to find "a new road in life." Most of them left their jobs either because of issues with colleagues or they were no longer happy.
I felt ambivalent about their situation: They have it hard because it’s no joke being out of work these days; on the other hand, as Mawi pointed out, ginusto nila yon eh – they left their respective companies because they felt their happiness lay somewhere else. I’m sure given a choice, these friends of mine would rather be working than looking for work.
Some of us make choices in life in the hope of reaching a certain goal. To that extent, I agree with Mawi – when we choose a path or a road in life, we do so because that’s where we think our greatest happiness lies. But no matter how well one chooses, no one really knows if his road will actually lead him to where he wants to go or if things will go as he planned them because the road one takes is never always a straight path. There are those unexpected turns; shit happens, you know – a lot of times! So the whole "ginusto nila yon" argument doesn’t really hold water anymore. Just because we chose a path and we experienced bad things doesn’t mean ginusto natin yon.
Going back to priests. They chose a path that requires them to be single all their lives. Is that tough? Sure. Do I pity them? No. I admire them. Sometimes you choose a tough and dangerous road – and so the suffering and the perils come with the territory. That’s why I don’t pity racecar drivers who die in car crashes because they chose life in the fast lane. But I do pity a girl who just happened to be going to school, waiting for a bus, when all of a sudden, a speeding jeep loses control and runs her over. Obviously, hindi niya ginusto yon. Or a hardworking guy who was doing his job diligently, when all of a sudden, he gets laid off because his CFO manipulated the numbers and now the company he is working for has filed for bankruptcy.
When we choose a road to take in our careers, we all end up with different types of roads. Some take the sigurista path – the typical road: striving to finish college and then applying with a big company. This is an EDSA type of road – a seemingly good and wide path and you know where’s it’s going and you’ll never get lost. But then again, the traffic is bad on this type of road and you’re stuck with everyone else trying to go the same way you’re going!
For those born in a family with a business, choosing to work with the family is like opting to take an Ayala-Avenue type of road – relatively easier to take, very smooth, well-maintained, and there are malls all around whenever you want to take a break. But it’s relatively short – and when you get out to other roads, you are not used to the tougher conditions and you could get flustered.
Then we have Skyway type of career path – smooth, well-maintained, not much traffic. It gets you to where you want to go quickly – but man, it costs an arm and a leg. People who take this road are the ones who have the luxury to take an MBA course abroad.
Then you have the Kennon-Road type – all the twists and turns, and the uphill climb – but in the end, when you reach Baguio, with the cool air and great atmosphere, you realize it was worth it.
The eskenita type of road is for guys who experiment with all types of companies – they either end up getting to their destination faster because maabilidad – or, because of all the experimenting, they end up lost. In the end, however, what’s important is this: Don’t stay put – follow your road and take all what the road offers. There will be bumps, twists and turns — and there will be many forks and paths to choose from. And there are roadside shops where you can rest. But whatever road you take, move on constantly and follow it. And hey, enjoy the ride!
One of my all-time-favorite songs is Pauline Wilson’s classic Follow Your Road. The lyrics go something like this: So many road that seem to lead out to the sea/I wonder which road will be the right one for me/Others may fall away, dead-ending left and right/But there is this ONE road that journeys far out of sight/Have you wondered where your road will lead you?/Maybe to a bright day of sunshine/Or to a starry night in heaven/Or it might be you’re afraid to go, afraid to go/But you have to follow your road – or you’ll never know, never know.
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