Does my happiness depend on my school?

Dear Maimai, China And Tingting,

I’m a college freshman in a good school but I feel lost and lonely with no friends and with knowing absolutely no one. Many of my friends in high school decided to go to the same college and when we talk to each other, they rave about how college is so much fun. I also wanted to go to the same school they did but my parents didn’t allow me. Now that I’m miserable, I want to ask them if I can transfer next semester. I’m sure they will say no again, but how can I convince them? Am I not supposed to have a good time in college? How can I let them understand? — Ms. Restless

One of my happiest memories was when I was in college and, yes, you’re supposed to have fun and enjoy those times. But it’s been just a few months since school has started. Why don’t you give it more time? You sound as if you’re still bitter about your parents not allowing you to go to the same school as your friends. They surely have a good reason, so why don’t you put emotions aside for a while and have an open mind. Try to reach out to other people. Make new friends. Enjoy your new environment. It’s a chance for you to start on a clean state. When you’ve honestly given it a try and it doesn’t work out, then you should have a talk with your parents. — China

If you’re not happy where you are, you won’t succeed. It’s really all up to you to find the happy environment where you can thrive. If you keep thinking about having fun with old friends, you will fail in that present set-up. However, if you turn it to your advantage and try finding new friends and looking for the good in your present situation, you might start doing well in that school. I suggest you work hard at the latter. After all, your parents will not insist on enrolling you in that school if it’s not good for you. Make some sacrifices now and reap the rewards later. That’s what adults would do. — Mai Mai

I think you’re just overwhelmed by everything that’s new. It takes time for a freshman to adjust to a new environment. What you’re feeling is normal. If I were your mother, it would take much to convince me to transfer you to another school. First of all, you admitted you’re in a good school. I’m assuming your parents chose that school because it’s the best for you and your chosen course. Second, making a life-changing decision requires a lot of wisdom and maturity. Your parents stood their ground because they know what’s best for you. Be comforted at the thought that you have parents who are watching out for your future. Their decision is not based on whim or emotions. You may not appreciate it now, but I’m quite sure they’re not doing this just to spite you or zap out the fun out your college experience. Trust your parents and work at getting the best out of your circumstances. — Tingting