Heart and music

Holy Week has just passed.
Looking back, I still can’t believe how, for the very first time in my 19 years of living, I’ve spent it away from my parents, in the company of friends, and in the doorsill of self-imposed responsibility. Given the opportunity to travel far and wide to Malaysia with my folks, I chose to stay behind for a show that Repertory Philippines put up for the Ayala Easter event in the Glorietta Activity Center of which I was fortunate enough to be part of. It was a musical revue of three beloved children’s musicals – Pinocchio, Cinderella, Emperor’s New Clothes – that were previously staged by the acclaimed theater guild.

Initially, I didn’t have a clue about what was in store for me when my friend Ayam asked me to jump onboard with the show. Being new in the ‘biz, I guess you take the opportunities as they come for the sake of experience, heightened repertoire, and the lessons you learn from the director and your fellow actors. Malaysia could have been fun with the exotic culture and all, but the experience of performing alongside the best in the business and being directed by a theater great is one that may never come my way again. I should know as Richard Ang, a guy in his late 20s and workshop mate of mine, recently passed away due to cardiac arrest. In the short time that my classmates and I got to know him, we learned that his dream role was to play Angel in Rent. If it’s one lesson I should draw from his passing, I guess it’s to live each moment as if it were my last. No Day but Today, as it is proudly sung by Mimi and Roger in Richard’s favorite musical.

And so… after so many days of long and hectic rehearsals, Easter Sunday dawned on sunny Metro Manila. The Ayala Corporation was generous enough to organize an afternoon of fun and merriment for its Gen-Y clientele. Filled with face-painting activities, Easter egg hunts, parlor games, and an awarding ceremony, the festivities ran through the entire afternoon with an Easter show to culminate the whole-day affair. All the while, my fellow actors and I remained backstage to prepare for the 45-minute show. I have to admit, the nerves were quite getting to me. An actor should always look effortless and graceful on stage, "to occupy space and mark one’s presence" as Tita Baby would always put it. But seeing all the children yearning towards you for some minutes of getting entranced with lovable characters in their colorful costumes, singing and dancing to invoke that oh-so-youthful "feeling of Disney," the pressure really brought it on. Once I got up on that stage though, everything disappeared with the adrenaline rush and that triumphant feeling of performing in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of people.

What I will probably remember most about the show are the goings-on backstage. With literally a morsel of a dressing room to work with, the excruciating concoction of heat and warm human breaths, and a flurry of actors trying to change out of their attires and into new ones to catch the next scene, the atmosphere was about as hectic as a rally in Luneta. While I had only three close to manageable costume changes, others had four or five in split-second gaps before they had to go back onstage again. It didn’t really matter if some had been in theater far longer than some, or if others were distinguished personalities from the different cornerstones of society, or if there were girls in my presence while I changed out of my bulky costumes. The ruckus backstage was a group effort, laden with generosity of time, energy, and spirit into mounting the best show possible for all of the kids in the Glorietta Activity Center.

The experience was a most memorable one for me as a neophyte in the theater world. I got to feel intensity of the show unlike any other I had felt with doing a Guys and Dolls showcase for Workshop 2005 or Emperor’s New Clothes in Rep’s 68th theatrical season. Quick costume changes, last minute choreography adjustments, and keeping your head above water amid high stress levels were just a few of those experiences that radically change you as an actor. Besides, we still had a long way to go as Tita Baby would always say. Kung baga, papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako. It really does come with experience, in the example of Mornings at 7’s veteran ensemble who naturally filled the stage – until you reach the point when you can just trickle down like rain and savor your momentous acquisition.

I guess theater really has bitten me hard. It has become a form of release for me amid the hustle and bustle of real life. It’s when you give so much of yourself and you just want to let it all out in the most creative manner possible. Actors, they say, are the most generous people in the world. So, this… this is for you Richard. I may not have gotten to know you in this workshop as much I have wanted. But your memory will surely live on through us, through your workshop mates and fellow actors who will strive long and hard to reach the top and be as near you as possible. Here’s to our Angel. Here’s to life. And live it ‘coz though it may be short, it sure is beautiful.

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Catch your breath and let me know what you think at chasingtoff@yahoo.com.