An end to a beginning

I’ve been hearing and reading a lot of sad, sentimental goodbye stories from this year’s high school seniors and I can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic. It wasn’t too long ago that I was feeling the same bittersweet sentiments on leaving high school life for good. Those were the days I will cherish forever. I’m still young, but I’m pretty sure those days will be tough to top in one lifetime. There came a point, though, when I couldn’t wait to get out of my blue polo and khaki pants uniform and start my life as a bona fide college student. I became tired of all the high school subjects and formalities. I was ready to grow up. Ironic as it may sound, that was the day I was ready to leave the best years of my life and move on.

Now, a year later, as I enter the last stretch of my freshman year, I cannot be more anxious to end it. Maybe I was a little too excited to get out of high school that I had this skewed impression that college would be a breeze. To some extent, it is, but for the most part, it most certainly is not. The hours are significantly less but, for what they lack in time, they make up in load. College is a lot more work than I expected. Though staying in the same school probably made it an easier transition, college life was nevertheless unfamiliar. I was used to being with the same people every day that they became my security blankets. All of a sudden, I’m faced with new faces and a new world to adjust to. As thankful as I am to have gotten to know more people and make new friends and see new places, it’s just not the same and I don’t think it ever will be.

Going back to this year’s graduating batch, I guess I have a few things to impart as someone who has gained a little bit more insight on making the transition. Spend the summer having fun with your high school friends. Make a concerted effort not to forget the last four years. Trust me, when you find yourself in a difficult situation, as college at some point will be, you can’t help but look back at the good old days where everything was routine, familiar and easy, and sigh. Things won’t be the same.

As for me, I am a few final exams away from ending my first year in college. After weeks of slaving over calculus and T.S. Elliot and writing excruciatingly long papers, I’m ready to exhale. I’ve never felt this tired in my entire stay in high school. I’ve never looked forward to a vacation as much as I do this very moment. And I’m only a freshman. This is supposed to be the easy year.

This summer is an end to a beginning and I realize there is so much more in store. I’ve only just begun college. I’m going to enjoy this last week not because it’s going to be easy, but because how hard this final week is going to be is how much I will enjoy my summer vacation.

In contrast to my last year in highschool, there won’t be any bittersweet feelings or long goodbyes in ending my freshman year. It’s just going to be sweet and I probably won’t even bother to say goodbye. After I put the last period on my analysis of a William Butler Yeats poem, I’m going to pack my bag, call up my friends and run like a crazy man being chased by lions. I can practically taste the salty breeze of the beach already.

* * *

For comments, e-mail me at emailcarlramirez@yahoo.com.