Woman on the verge

Sometime in your youth, an epiphany comes to you: Life occurs in moments. And you wish, my God, if only I had a camera I would’ve taken a picture of myself at that moment, or this moment, just between that time when I didn’t know, then I did know, and after that I was never the same again.

For the next few weeks, that’s what I’ll be doing: taking "snapshots" of some amazing, fantastic, anything-but-mediocre women in their late twenties who are in a great moment in their lives and are willing to share what they’ve learned and experienced – and I’d like to freeze it for all posterity. First up is Georgina Zamora Mok, who is about to move on from running Cul-de-Sac in Glorietta, her café of five years, to pursuing a graduate degree in fashion merchandising in New York City.

Gina, say cheez!

If there’s anything I learned from running a restaurant, it’s not being a perfectionist. I used to be the OC type, but I’ve let go of that. You have to make room for imperfection, allow a certain margin for error. You can’t make it in the world if you’re so stringent.

Cul-de-sac is my blood, sweat and tears. Every decision here, I made on my own. I’ve changed the menu five times in five years. This was supposed to be a creperie, then it turned into a full-blown café. Right now we’re changing the menu again. We’re keeping the favorites, to keep it as café type as possible. There’s variety, but we’ll try to streamline it so it’s not so mish-mash. Now we’re doing tacos and French toast.

Out of the comfort zone is the challenge I’m after now. We’re so sheltered here, and I have to break away from that. Before I get married I have to take the test – of whether I can really throw myself out there and be on my own. It’s the one final test, for a girl or a guy.

Life is not linear. After you graduate from school, you think life would be like school: always linear. It’s like you’re following a curriculum! But it’s not like that at all. I took up BS Management in Ateneo, but what counts a lot more right now in running a business isn’t what I remember from accounting class, but dealing with people.

Nothing is ever what you plan it to be. When I graduated, I wanted to be a research analyst, so I could be an investment banker, then take my MBA. But then I got the opportunity to do this restaurant, then Urban & co, then Penang restaurant. For two years I was so set on taking my MBA, then in just a few short months everything just changed. My perspective changed. Now I decided to do fashion merchandising. And it’s all meant to be.

I always liked fashion but I never took it seriously. It costs a lot of money to go to school abroad, so I chose something that would take me a long way. Fashion wouldn’t be something I would bust my butt for, something I enjoy and have fun doing. At the same time right now there’s a high demand for jobs in fashion. There’s a lot of mobility with my course. It was more practical than I thought it would be. I used to think fashion was just too frivolous, and now, with the MBA market so saturated, it’s actually a practical choice!

It’s not so much about being the best, it’s about being patient, matiyaga. That’s what will get you ahead in this world. I learned how to deal with other people. You want to be the best person you can be, not just in the career sense or the material sense, but the best daughter, sister, friend, wife, employer, employee.

Yes, I was born privileged, and that is why I don’t believe in depression. At the restaurant, I’m dealing with different personalities, people from different backgrounds but with the same culture, and I have experienced first-hand that some people aren’t as lucky and I have to work with that. I don’t believe in depression – how can you be depressed when you’re so lucky? I have it so good. I may not be as rich or pretty or smart as the next girl but I don’t have to look at other people, to see how well I’m coping.

I like to look at my life in terms of years. After every year I always like to compare it to the prior year, and what I want to do in the coming year. Right now I don’t know what’s in store, but I’m very excited. I haven’t felt this way for some time. There’s a lot of anticipating of what the year has in store for me. A lot of change. I have to learn more about not just looking at the goal or destination, but focus on how important the journey is.

Being single can really help you focus. Having been boyfriend-less for two years, I no longer bank on that love thing to get me to where I want to be. I’ve gotten so used to it. Nothing can distract me. And I’m not the kind of girl who wants to depend on a man for everything. I’d really rather pay my own way.

I realized at a certain point that what I was learning from all my experiences was kind of shallow. I wanted to look more inward for something more spiritual. It’s more personal, it’s inside. Right now I want to learn to be less judgmental, more patient.

I don’t consider myself successful. Success is relative, it’s not material, it’s not based on position. It’s not necessarily how others perceive me. It’s how I look at myself.

I think about my life a lot. I reflect. I’m fortunate to have my family and my friends who encourage me along the way, who listen to me, give me advice. When you sum up all your experiences, you see the chain that has led you to where you are. Each helped you out in a different way. A breakup pushed me toward this or that.

I used to think that the harder way is the best way, that things don’t come easily. You have to work, work, work for what you want. But I look at other people, and I realize that just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In fact, it might even be the right path. That’s what the path I want to take now. The effortless path.

What keeps me going is that I know there’s something out there waiting for me. Something out there that I’ve been wanting for so long. And I have faith that it’s so close. Just the thought of it inspires me. I’m looking forward to new experiences. I’m ready. Whatever happens, I know it’s my destiny, I know it was meant for me.

My mom was right all along. I hate to admit it, but it’s true: Mothers know best. She always told me, Gina, your path is either cooking or fashion, and she was right! Because those are the things that she always knew I was good at, and it’s effortless.