Nicole Lim: Life at Harvard

The great crimson walls of Harvard have always intrigued me. I’ve spent hours and hours wondering what it would be like to study in a place where some of the most wondrous minds and ideas are molded. Leonard Bernstein, Yo-yo Ma, Ralph Waldo Emerson, JFK, T.S. Eliot, Robert Frost, Henry David Thoreau are but some of those most enthralling figures in history who were graduates of this university. Reading books such as The Class and watching movies (yes, Legally Blonde included) centered on the Harvard campus did nothing to quell my fascination. Even the TV series, Gilmore Girls, gives me great delight, despite my not-so-understated indignation that Rory chose Yale after obsessing about Harvard all those years. But enough of my fantasies.

Nicole Sy Lim, talented and lucky girl that she is, gets to live this dream of mine. Nicole, 18, who graduated salutatorian from the Immaculate Conception Academy, Greenhills last March, is currently a freshman at Harvard University. A self-confessed nerd who is described by one of her good friends Krissy Tiu as the student notorious for the bushy afro wigs she brought to school and her impersonations of different Hollywood celebrities, classmates and teachers, Nicole is now leaning towards pursuing economics or government. Here she talks about what it’s really like to be a student at Harvard.

YS: Why did you choose to go to Harvard? What were your other options?

NICOLE SY: Ever since I was a kid, my mom told me that I should go to the US to study. Therefore, I grew up thinking that I had to study in the States. When I reached high school, I started thinking, "Do I really want to leave my home and enter a totally new environment?" And I realized that I did. All my friends go to Ateneo and La Salle. (I don’t have anything against the two colleges, I love them.) However, it’s like reliving high school. I wouldn’t be exposed to different cultures, I wouldn’t learn how to do laundry, ride the subway alone, or just be independent! I would probably stick to my group of friends and wouldn’t be forced to branch out.

I didn’t expect to get into the Ivy League schools but I applied just for the heck of it. I really wanted to go to Yale, but my reasonable choice if I didn’t get into any Ivy League school would be either Georgetown University or New York University, which are equally good schools. I got my acceptance letter through e-mail from Harvard first and I was so ecstatic! My mom was on her way to work and I ran outside to catch her before she left. She thought it was a fake letter at first. You can just imagine our surprise or more aptly put, bewilderment.

I also got in to Yale which was great! At that point, I was leaning towards going to Yale but of course, my Chinese culture requires me to consult everyone in my family. My grandfather suggested that I go to Harvard because it’s more famous. I did decide on my own in the end. But not to sound shallow or anything, I ultimately chose to go to Harvard because of my family and because of the prestige and respect the name gives.

Did you have any expectations about your school?

OK, the word that came into my mind when I decided to go to Harvard is "intellect." I expected students here to be intellectually snobby nerds and passionate debaters about politics and human rights. True, the school is teeming with intellectuals and geniuses – but they aren’t nerds or snobs at all! The girls here dress so well that my "porma" outfits were left in the dust. You would rarely see any person who looked like the stereotypical nerd with the thick glasses and thick quantum physics books. There are so many parties during the weekends that our dorm is nearly empty during Friday and Saturday nights and people here generally know how to have a good time.

I expected to be intimidated in class, and I was at first, but the professors and teacher assistants are so helpful and considerate that I am really encouraged to speak up, argue my points, and just be comfortable in class.

I also expected the environment to be really diverse. And it is. I am so grateful that my roommates are all great. Every one of us originally came from a different country. Jenny is also an overseas Chinese whose parents came to the US before she was born. Naabia’s parents are from Ghana, Africa. Victoria is half Columbian, half Swedish and Lauren is Italian-American. We can seriously be models for United Colors of Benetton.

Serious, hardworking, nerdy, no time for play, how accurate would this be as a description of yourself?

I would say that those words would be very accurate to describe me two years ago. But during senior year of high school, I just broke out of my "nerdy" shell.

Now in college, my roommates are all seriously academic but they also know when and how to have a good time. I’m lucky that my four roommates and I get along well, even better than most dorm rooms. We sometimes sit and laze around, watching movies and eating Chinese delivery, or during weekends go out and party.

Sometimes, I think I am too lazy and that I watch TV too much. I think that’s why when I study, I really really study for hours, as if compensating for my laziness. But I do know how to prioritize and set aside a time simply just for fun. Life is too short to spend it on school.

What is your priority right now?

I have so many priorities! But I guess my priority in general is academics. Later na ’yung mga hot boys! Haha! I am taking a writing class now, and I want to learn how to "read and write good." God, I sound like Derek Zoolander! Anyway, I just want to be the best I can be intellectually. I am now concerned with picking a good research paper topic for my government class; it’s about the politics and government of modern China. And I have to finish a five-page essay about a story by Joyce Carol Oates. Plus, I have an Economics problem set due and I have a Chinese quiz to study for. It’s pretty hectic. The school requires three to five classes per semester, but usually all freshmen take four classes because the reading and homework workload per class are pretty insane.

I understand that you’ve always wanted to go to Harvard ever since you were a kid. Is this true?

No! Actually, I wanted to be a Broadway star when I was a kid. I love Phantom of the Opera and Miss Saigon. Unfortunately, I can’t sing or act. So my performances are confined to my bathroom.

What were you like as a kid?

In elementary, I was a conceited, grade conscious, eager beaver teacher’s pet. I volunteered for everything and I wanted to be the leader in all the projects. Some people usually find my bossiness annoying but my mentality is that projects usually work better when somebody is dictating and organizing what to do. Like what happened in China, the CCP started as a confused disorganized group with no virtual leader. It was only when Mao, by both talent and fate, stepped up as the uncontested leader that the CCP actually succeeded in overthrowing the Kuomintang. (Waha! I’m actually learning in this school!) Pardon my urge to show off my new found knowledge. It is the first time I ever said something intellectual.

Anyway, getting back to my point, I was really bossy, opinionated and a show-off, in short, a little Hitler. But with my family (including aunts, cousins, uncles), I was really shy and quiet. I still am! It seemed that at an early age, I learned to compartmentalize my personalities. But I’m not schizophrenic, I promise you. Yes, I am! No, I’m not!

I started really working towards really good grades when I was in sixth grade. That was the time when I became really determined to be one of the best. I don’t know why, but one night, I decided I wanted to become the school valedictorian. Well, I never did become valedictorian, but that goal, however unreachable, made me shoot for something. And even if I didn’t really accomplish that goal, I am happy because I know I exhausted all my effort and ability to do what I set out to do.

What steps did you take to accomplish your goal of getting into Harvard?

Harvard really wasn’t the specific school in my mind. My goal was really to get into any good American college. I started preparing for the SAT’s the summer of my sophomore year and took it during junior and senior year. Most people back home would laugh at this because most people study for entrance tests only months before the test. But the truth is, I needed the preparation. I am not one of those people who are natural geniuses. Like an average person, I really need to study and to exert effort. Plus, I’m not trying to belittle our educational system, but the American educational system is just so different. Aside from the SAT’s, I had to take SAT II’s, which were harder than the basic Math and English. So the extra preparation was really worth it.

The admissions process is just so competitive that you really really have to devote extra effort in order to get into a top tier school. It’s just insane – people here in the States, and also back home are making big bucks from the admission process, because everyone wants to get into a good college. It’s so sick that the whole college admission thing has turned into a big business because of our capitalistic natures. Oh well, that’s competition.

I had a friend help me edit my admissions essays and all my applications were organized into neat folders and envelopes because admissions people also look at the presentation of the package. Even if it seems silly, the neatness and the "outside" look of your application is important too. You just have to be the best package ever, inside and out, in order to sell.

I also took as many leadership positions. I didn’t join that many clubs, mainly because I was focusing my attention on academics. I did, however join some clubs like the volleyball team and the school paper because I enjoyed playing and writing, though I can’t say I’m one of the best.

In truth, high school in general was a rocky experience. Sometimes, I had to compromise – whether to go to this party or study for an exam. I also had to put my studies before other things like family functions and barkada outings, and that made me miserable sometimes. High school was a very long journey that included a lot of sacrifices in order to achieve my goal. There were times when I thought that I wanted to give up, but I consoled myself by thinking that the pay-off, whatever it will be, will be worth it. And now, I realize it is.

What do you plan to do after graduation?

I would like to say that I want to get married the day after graduation and breed hundreds of brats so my mom will panic and faint. But I’m much too good of a daughter for that. Plus my uterus probably can’t take it.

Seriously, I plan to go back to the Philippines and work! I don’t know what job I’ll take, but I want to go home! I’m actually a member of the Harvard Philippine Forum, that’s how much I miss this country.

Maybe I’ll go to graduate school. Maybe I’ll go back and teach at my high school. Maybe I’ll work for the World Bank or United Nations, or even a consultancy firm. Who knows? But if I graduate with a degree in government, I most certainly will not become a politician because a) it’s much too dirty for me and b) it isn’t in my nature to lie and steal.

Oh yeah, and I want to earn lots and lots of money, buy a Porsche, a humongous mansion and a beach resort and… promote world peace.

Are there any differences between students there and students back home?

No, there aren’t really any major differences. We all procrastinate, cram, make fun of teachers, sleep in class and in the library, spend too much time in the internet and do stupid stuff that kids usually do – Harvard students or not.

But there is one thing that I notice and it’s that kids here are really confident – and it’s confidence in the good way. True, some people are really conceited and will let you feel like you’re the scum of the earth, but most students here are secure and comfortable with themselves. For example, say, a Filipino college student aces her test and her classmate goes, "Hey you’re so galing and smart talaga!" She would go, "Haha, no, tsamba lang noh." And here, if somebody says that to a fellow Harvard student, she’d go "Thanks! It was really easy."

In the Philippines, admitting that you’re really good can be misconstrued as self-centeredness and conceit. While here, it’s good to be aware of what you can do well, confidence is a good thing.

Oh, and here, I kind of like the casual teacher-student relationship because the teachers act like friends. Some teachers ask to be called by their first names and it just gives the class a really relaxed, encouraging atmosphere. Then again, the informality of the students can also be regarded as disrespect for some people. I could see that the differences lie mostly on culture and preference rather than on anything else.

What do you miss the most back home? What do you miss the least?

The things I miss most are Filipino potato chips (V-CUT!!!!), HBO (we don’t have cable in our room), Shake, Rattle and Roll movies, Lucky Me Pancit Canton, puto, Power Plant, Robinson’s Galleria, luncheon meat, most of all, OPM!

I don’t miss the pedestrian lanes, because here in Massachusetts, the pedestrians have the power. I don’t know if it applies to all states, maybe not in New York. Filipino drivers are just so inconsiderate.

Regarding people, of course I miss my family and my friends.

Oh and the UAAP games! Who won by the way???

Did you have a hard time adjusting to college life there?

For the first week of school, I was really scared and nervous. I was so afraid to go out of the campus, try out the libraries and speak in English (because I am barok). But after about one more week, I adjusted pretty quickly. One good thing is that my roommates and dorm mates are all nice and helpful. They taught me how to do the laundry, withdraw cash from the bank, ride the subway, just simple stuff that I took for granted while I was living in the Philippines. So, even if I missed my family and friends very much, they became my family here and helped me move on.

Favorite book?

I never did have one favorite book. It’s more of a series of books that I like a lot and read so many times. I love the books about Hannibal Lecter by Thomas Harris; Bridget Jones’ Diary and Edge of Reason, Helen Fielding; Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris introduced to me by my roommate Jenny, is really funny; Maeve Binchy’s Circle of Friends (the one adapted to a Chris O’Donnell movie) is the book I’m reading right now. Oh, and Martha Bolton’s If the Pasta Wiggles, Don’t Eat It, given to me by my aunt, offers really good advice. There are just so many books I love! I can’t pick one! It’s just like making me decide to choose among dark chocolate cake, blueberry cheesecake, tiramisu or a Hizon mocha birthday cake. It’s just physically and psychologically impossible.

Inspiration in life?

I don’t really have any specific "inspiration" that led me to do the things that I do. My parents and the way that I was raised would probably be my motivation to do well in school. I am also a competitive person inherently so other people who do well will make me do something even better if I can. But as an inspiration per se, it’s really hard to tell. It’s the accumulation of all people and experiences in my life who made me, me. Some of my experiences I regretted, some I truly treasured but I won’t change anything about it.

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This article’s dedicated to those who wrote in and asked for more features of students studying abroad. For more comments or suggestions, e-mail the author at steniecoyiuto@yahoo.com