Shallow be thy name

The most beautiful things in the world are useless; peacocks and lillies, for instance. — John Ruskin

Love is a great beautifier. — Louisa May Alcott

Almost everybody dreams of a gorgeous body. Don’t you want a flat tummy that doesn’t need you to lie in bed or jump up and down just to zip those trousers?

How we dream of thighs that would fit in the average chair, slender legs that look good in shorts 24/7, a nice chest, sculpted abs and shoulders!

Slender and slim — that is the concept of beauty hammered into people’s minds. Lucky are you who have this body type that would make heads turn and mouths drool.

But sometimes, no matter how much we want that perfect bod, regardless of how hard we try to work for it, fate has other plans for us. I myself am weight-conscious.

The nature of beauty has been contemplated on by philosophers, poets, scientists and even theologians. In the desperate search for beauty, many have traveled to the ends of the earth.

The movie Shallow Hal taught me a thing or two about beauty. I invited my friends to watch the flick, and we trooped to Rockwell. This movie, directed by the Farrelly brothers Peter and Bobby, stars Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow. With them are Jason Alexander, Joe Viterelli, Susan Ward and Anthony Robbins (who plays himself). Hal (Jack Black) is your average American party guy, hanging out late at night in clubs, searching for a perfect body-licious, gorgeous babe. He goes around trying to score with the gals on the dance floor, but the ladies just ignore him. Hal Larsen is the ultimate shallow guy. His concept of beauty is based on centerfolds and supermodels. The only thing that he looks for in a woman is good looks (just like some of today’s guys).

Rosemary (Gwyneth Paltrow) is a Peace Corps and hospital volunteer. She is also the epitome of obesity — definitely not Hal’s type.

But fate has a different plan. Hal gets stuck in an elevator with no less than Tony Robbins, a self-help guru and TV personality. Robbins does an impromptu hypnosis on Hal — and the latter’s view of women makes a 180-degree turn.

Hal now begins to see inner beauty instead of physical appearance. As soon as they get out of the elevator, Hal miraculously sees people in a different way. In his eyes, the physically unattractive person is beautiful if she/he possesses a beautiful heart.

Hal starts blurting out compliments for these ladies who are unaccustomed to the admiration.

At a department store, Hal sees Rosemary as the ultimate blonde bombshell who shops for extra, extra, extra large undies. He sees beautiful Rosemary’s humor and kindness as female physical nirvana and is instantly smitten.

Before they know it, Rosie and Hal are in an idyllic romance. Their relationship is at its peak when Mauricio (Jason Alexander) discovers the reason for the sudden change in his pal Hal.

Mauricio tries to convince Hal (without success) that what he sees are "ugly girls." He tracks down Tony Robbins and discovers the counter-spell to undo Hal’s newfound consciousness.

Confused, Hal avoids Rosie and her calls. This, of course, hurts Rosemary. Eventually, Hal realizes that what he has with Rosemary is real love. He, after all, isn’t, in the relationship to play but to get serious. He realizes that he fell for Rosie not because his eyes saw her as a sexy and pretty lady, but because his heart saw a good person worth loving. Hal just has to face the real (physical) Rosemary and learn!

And so he dares to go to Rosemary’s house to apologize and win her back —right smack in her going-away party (she is set to join a Peace Corps mission).

The sincerity in Hal’s eyes convinces Rosemary of his love, and she accepts his apology. The movie wraps up with Hal joining Rosemary’s mission as a Peace Corps volunteer.

Only a man this shallow can fall in love this deep, the movie’s tagline goes.

Shallow Hal is hilarious, no doubt. Who can resist the comedic prowess of Jack Black and Jason Alexander?

Before entering the movie house, I saw some friends and an aunt who just saw the film. I was surprised when they said, "The film was very nice." I, for one, felt intrigued at how a comedy film about an overweight woman and a shallow guy could be, well, nice.

I was thinking along the lines of "funny" and "original." As much as I found the film an all-time funny movie, I also sort of disagreed with its humor. It was mean; a bit too harsh. And what made it more bad was how the moviegoers laughed their hearts out — not thinking twice if people would actually get offended. In the movie, there were instances when harsh remarks were directed at people on the heavy side, including chairs breaking when Rosie sat on them and the car that tilted when she rode it. Don’t get me wrong, I did not sit through the movie and criticize it.

Alright, Shallow Hal is funny, and it did give me a tummy ache from laughing. But after a while, I found myself pondering as to how other people who share Rosemary’s physique would feel. How did the "big" actors feel while filming the movie. I looked around the movie house if everyone was busy laughing while being unmindful of the film’s cruelty. Were there Rosies watching it, too? I wondered if they had laughed as much and as hard. For a time, I had thought, how can people say this film is nice?

Until, of course, the end of the film. Shallow Hal teaches us one of life’s most important lessons. If you haven’t learned it yet, please do watch the film again. This time, take time to really reflect on it, not just laugh at Mauricio’s tail or Rosemary’s weight. Take, for instance, the kids at the hospital ward. Hal had seen them as the sweet little angels.

Katins, for example, is pretty to Hal at their first meeting. But after the "spell" is broken, Hal sees the difference. The children are all burn victims. I pose a question to those who laughed a bit too hard. Did you laugh at this kid, too?

I could not help but feel sorry for the child. Her pretty face is ruined, and Hal doesn’t recognize her. At this point, I had realized that this film has heart, too.

If we joke about every little imperfection other people have, what a hell would this life be!

There was one point, too where Mauricio and Hal talk about pretty girls being bad girls. They concluded that a pretty girl is more likely to be a bad person. Those who are ugly are the ones who are good people.

I don’t really know if this makes complete sense, but somehow, at times, it is true. Do you ever wonder why cheerleaders and popular and pretty girls in movies are the ones who are always the villains? I asked my brother if he thought this was true. He said it’s somewhat true.

It is somewhat uncanny to find a pretty girl with a good heart. Some pretty girls know that they’re pretty and forget that there are things that are more important than looks. It’s not very often that you see a pretty girl who is simple. As my brother puts it, sometimes they get too much into themselves because they’re confident they have the looks. Sad, but true.

I remember I’d feel really disgusted at people, usually girls who are thin enough yet think they are as big as a house. The mean thing here is they get too insensitive that they even say it aloud, in front of people who weigh more than them. I mean, before making a remark like that I hope they’d spend more time looking at others and putting themselves in their shoes rather than just opening their mouths in complete insensitivity.

They already know they’ve great bodies but still, after gaining only a few pounds, they just seem to get all too conscious that it’s almost despicable. I for a time was guilty of this, until I caught hold of myself and thought that those words can really hurt someone.

In today’s society being fat or overweight is a no-no. It’s not just a matter of having trouble looking for clothes that fit. There is the problem of looking for a man sincere enough to love them. For the warriors of the battle of the bulge, Shallow Hal gives a reason why you should love yourself for who you are right now. There is, undoubtedly, someone out there for you (for all of us, I believe), who will come and treat you the right way — with respect and acceptance. But you must love yourself first.

You can’t ask for something that you can’t give yourself. If you want to be accepted, accept yourself, too. It won’t help that you dislike who you are. Believe me, wanting and making yourself someone that you are not will just kill you. It’s suicide — except that you have to live with it for so long. If you want to look better and feel better, or lose some pounds, please do it for yourself. Whenever you feel like wanting to look prettier, or you want to exercise and diet, don’t do it for anyone else but yourself.

As long as you’re happy.

But if you feel that losing the extra pounds just isn’t your thing, and you think it’s God’s will that you stay the way that you are, your pleasurable plumpness shouldn’t hinder you from enjoying the life that you have. Be thankful. After all, beauty on the outside will not last forever. But beauty inside knows no end. This doesn’t go solely for the Rosies out there, but for everyone. We all have our imperfections, but that doesn’t give us the right or excuse or reason to hate ourselves. These are the things that make us strong and sublimely unique.

The world would be such a better place if there were a million more Hals out there. External appearance won’t count in the end. You may have the most beautiful of flowers, but they can be the kind that really stinks. It is essential that you understand the genuine meaning of beauty. The movie did make me realize a lot. I sure hope it taught you a thing or more as well. I actually feel good about myself right now. And I thank God for making me ME.

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Email me at mayen_juico@angelfire.com.