The Art of Imperfection

"Perfect moments happen to imperfect people at the most imperfect times."

These are comforting words from Veronique Vienne, author of The Art of Imperfection, a book of meditative exhortations which encourages its readers to make peace with themselves. Vienne reminds us that it’s okay to make mistakes; that we must not feel that getting it right is a matter of survival or being perfect is the key to happiness.

With images of perfection everywhere—one television, magazines, ads and the movies, it is easy to feel that unless we have that perfect figure, those pearly white teeth, flawless skin and shiny black hair, we are not just pretty enough. Or unless the car we drive, gadgets and appliances we use, and clothes we wear do not make us look like a million bucks, either. And unless we feel that we are with the "object of our affection" (images we see on the big screen, with romantic theme song to accompany every encounter) we begin to doubt his or her love and sincerity.

Sure, it would be wonderful to be tall and sexy, have beautiful, healthy hair, and the IQ of a genius. Ang yes, drive the latest BMW or 4x4 Jeep to a mountain getaway with your athletic hunk of a boyfriend who happens to be CEO of a multinational company and is completely enamored by you. There, you will cook for him an exquisite meal you learned to prepare during your travels to Europe and discuss life’s profound issues and how to make the world a better place in five different languages. We are entitled to our fantasies, right? Perhaps, there is somebody who fits this bill, or some other seemingly perfect life, but I’m pretty sure that whatever it is that makes somebody’s life seem perfect from the outside, is not what necessarily makes him/her happy inside.

The fact is, no matter how much effort we put into looking and feeling good, there will be many days when we feel like the Ugly Duckling or Cruella De Ville. We all have bad hair days, binge on chocolates and sweets, knowing full well we will feel bloated and yucky after having done that, lose our keys and our tempers, fail our quizzes, miss our appointments, get our cellphones (or boyfriends) stolen from right under our noses and sometimes find difficulty being nice. We are all imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. Sounds dim and uninspiring? Well, the good news is we don’t have to be perfect to be happy!

Without realizing it, what may seem like a total disaster can be the onset of a magical experience. Ever heard about a blessing in disguise? You get tired of your job of ten years and in your determination to get back on your feet and prove to your former employers that they were mistaken about letting you go, you not only find another job, you get a better career. Your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you for a bombshell or hunk and after wallowing in your misery and giving up the notion of ever falling in live again, you meet your soulmate and experience true love. When things go wrong, it is easy to feel like it’s the end of the world. Things go awry all the time, but you and I are still here. The world just keeps revolving and life marches on.

The Art of Imperfection suggests simple ways to make peace with yourself. Learn to forgive yourself by finding solace in your shortcomings and humor in your blunders and slip-ups.

The Art of Making Mistakes

In art and architecture, what looks like a mistake is often a deliberate signal meant to attract attention to a particular aspect of the work.

• In Islamic art, small flaws abound in what looks like the most luxurious carpets, pottery and mosaics. Artists are urged to make mistakes on purpose, to remind observers that God alone is perfect.

• In music, notes that deviate from an established pattern are often used to create emotional tension. In Beethoven's Funeral March, for example, he replaced sounds with silence to express the mounting sense of sorrow in the piece.

• In literature, James Joyce was the champion of intentional error. For him, mistakes were "portals of discovery." In Ulysses, in particular, typos, misspellings and absence of punctuation marks add to the insight of his prose.

The Art of Looking Like Yourself

As Vienne contemplates, "The best beauty product is to have a life. A real life—with challenges disappointments, stress and laughter. The much touted inner beauty is a natural radiance that comes as a result of mental and emotional involvement.

The Art of Having Nothing to Wear

Vienne suggests ways to "break the style rules." Here are five of her 10 suggestions:

• Less chic is more chic. Don’t look "expensive."

• For every label you wear, don a non-fashion item. Neutralize the trendy impact of your Gucci, Prada or Cartier accessories with souvenir scarves, ethnic jewelry and discount store undies.

• Only carry bags you can use as pillows.

• Do a little less or a little more than what’s expected.

• Ignore fashion, but don’t disregard it: read all about it in magazines and then do what you want.

The Art of Not Being Right

Between two people in love, nothing is crueler than the victory of one over the other. Telling someone he/she is right does not make you wrong. It is not a sign of weakness or incompetence. Yet, most of us are reluctant to acknowledge an insightful remark or admirable action with sincere appreciation.

The author suggests some ways to say "Bravo!"

• "You are absolutely right."

• "Can I quote you on this one?"

• "I wish I had said that."

• "It’s so true."

• "I like the way you put it."

Life is full of paradoxes. To find humor in your life, don’t shy away from contradictions. Oftentimes, our innate idiosyncrasies are more endearing to others than our more glorious achievements. Finally, the author points to some Spiritual Paradoxes to ponder on:

• Explore the richness of your imperfections.

• Understand that you are misunderstood.

• Be good even when you are bad.

• Find the solution by looking for the problem.

• Celebrate your happiness by never questioning it.

• Label the label, before it labels you.

• In order to see, listen. In order to hear, stare at things.

• Cherish the truth but pardon the errors.