Balls and Beckham

MANILA, Philippines - In the past few weeks, we’ve seen the landscape of Philippine football change drastically. After the Philippine Football Team, or The Azkals, delivered a stunning 2-0 defeat to defending champions Vietnam in their AFF Suzuki Cup match, suddenly football was the talk of the town.

A few days later, they barged into the semi-finals for the first time and history is made. As of writing, the Azkals are about to face the mighty Indonesians in their home stadium filled with 80,000 of their football-crazy fans. Kinda puts a tear in your eye and makes you think of the 300 Spartans against the Persians (*sniff sniff*). Now, the way Pinoys see football is changing, now might be the time for football to rise to the ranks of basketball and boxing in this country. Here are some ways to make the beautiful sport of football more popular in this country:

• Find a football poster boy. Whereas Derek Ramsey is to ultimate frisbee, Jericho Rosales is to surfing, Chris Tiu is to basketball; football should also have its own poster boy. Luckily, we have the Younghusbands. The brothers can serve as the un-tattooed, un-metrosexual local versions of David Beckham. Philippine football finally has something to draw in the female market. Put the Younghusbands in a soccer-oriented underwear ad and just wait for the tidal wave of females to come rushing in those football stadium doors.

Football needs a poster boy the way basketball has bright and shiny Chris Tiu.

• Match poster boy with high-profile celeb and give them a love-team name. If David Beckham has Victoria and James Yap used to have Kris Aquino, Mr. Younghusband needs to be paired up with a celeb who could put him on SNN. Some possibilities: Younghusband + Kim Chiu = KimYoung? Phil Younghusband + Anne Curtis = Phurtis?

• Like the great athletes before them, the Azkals gotta have their own sitcom or teleserye. Onyok Velasco did, Benjie Paras did, and most notably, Manny Pacquiao did as well. Having their own show gives them better exposure to their fan base. Some titles could be: Maalala Mo Kaya Ang Azkal? or Oki Doki Dog. Or better yet, do a movie based on their story. It will be called Ang Kagat ng Azkal: A True Underdog Story. Plot should include a love triangle between the Younghusbands and Marian Rivera, a twist such as twins getting separated at birth, and a random dance sequence.

• Just so the fans won’t get bored during the halftime break, the halftime show should be hosted by Willie Revillame and Shalani Soledad with the Willing Willie Dancers as the Azkals’ cheerleaders. Imagine this: It’s halftime and the stadium is jam-packed with fans dancing to the tune of Igiling Giling while Willie and Shalani give out cash prizes and gifts from the sponsors. It’s a win-win situation. The Azkals’ get a boost in ticket sales, the fans get to watch football and win prizes, and Willie and Shalani get higher ratings.

Team Azkals

• Because we have no proper football facility, we must convince Henry Sy to put up a football stadium inside one of his malls. Staying true to his slogan, “We’ve got it all for you,” Henry Sy will put up an Olympic-sized stadium because he has nothing to do with his money anymore. He’ll call it SM Freakishly EPIC Mall, and all the football games will be staged there. Fans can watch the game while shopping. Forever 21 would be behind the goal, Bench would be beside the bench, and Penshoppe can be located inside the dugout. He’ll then change his slogan to “We’ve got it all for you.. even an indoor football stadium. WHAT UP, B*TCHES!?”

• To raise funds for the team, the government should put up a charity called “Piso Para Sa Aso.” (But no, really, some fans really are trying to do this.) Same thing like the Pasig River campaign, people drop their coins in donation boxes and all proceeds go to team funds.