Best of the Week: Terry Richardson molests 'Glee,' Bieber beats up some dude, and 'Mara Clara' returns

Event of the week: Barangay Elections

MANILA, Philippines - The barangay, derived from the word “balangay,” is the smallest political unit in the Philippine setting, composed of village/s clustered in an area and has an independent political privilege provided by the Constitution. Okay, we don’t want to lecture you on the history of barangays, but we sure want to remind you that this Monday is Barangay Elections Day. Potential kingmaker seats will be up for grabs again in all 41,995 barangays in the country, with available positions ranging from captain to kagawad and the SK seats. Mark your calendars and pass by your precinct on Monday. Go out and vote!

Soap opera update of the week: Mara Clara

Judy Ann Santos’ siopao face, Gladys Reyes’ withering bitch face, the cat fights, the tears, the sabunutans — if you get right down to it, ABS-CBN’s ’90s series Mara Clara had everything a soap opera needs. So now, in a time of soap opera vampires and Botox-faced divas, ABS-CBN shows ’em how it’s done with Mara Clara 2010. It’s too early to tell if we’ll find another acting powerhouse in the update, but the previews look hilariously campy, at least.

Off to the Boys’ Town award: Justin Bieber

Once in a while, we stumble upon young superstars consumed so much by their fame they go delinquent. Will the path laid out by Britney Spears and LiLo be also travelled by Justin Bieber? Canadian authorities have put the young superstar under investigation after an alleged attack in a gaming station. Reports say Bieber accidentally knocked down one kid and wounded him during a game of laser tag, though no serious injuries were obtained. It was child’s play, say Bieber’s reps. We still doubt it is.

Revenge of the week: Dead Sea Scrolls

Robert Langdon must be very excited. This week, Google announced that it will put up the mysterious and “illuminating” Dead Sea Scrolls for downloads and online viewing. Expected to be launched within months’ time, the 2000-year old papyri will finally be available for practically everybody else in the world after being kept in private museums and access. Google has teamed up with the Israeli government to make all 39 volumes of the scrolls available in original script and English translation. As of press time, the CBCP is yet to issue any excommunication threats against Google.

Possible lesbian of the week: Christina Aguilera

In what is fast becoming a rite of passage for Disney girls gone wild, the newly-single Christina Aguilera was rumored to be in a relationship with Samantha Ronson, famously known as Lindsay Lohan’s saving grace. All this, of course, puts Xtina’s failed single Woohoo in a different context. “Licky, licky, yum, yum what a great guy. Now kiss all my, all over my.” Roar.

Tired-ass cover of the week: ‘Glee’ for ‘GQ’

Glee goes wild... again? After a tastefully-racy shoot for Rolling Stone, the Glee kids go back to the well and go wild again, this time with famously-filthy photographer Terry Richardson leading the way. And this is supposed to be shocking. There’s Quinn in her panties! Rachel in her uhm panties also! Finn holding sticks! Ooh, shocking.

But really, we’re just bored. Terry Richardson, the joke just got old.

Government agency of the week: PAG-ASA

There is still hope, after all. PAG-ASA redeemed itself from national damnation this week (and made Prisco Nilo cry) for its awesome show of preparedness in the wake of super typhoon Juan. Issuing heads-up notices days before Juan entered Philippine territory, the fledgling government agency also kept the people informed with hourly weather bulletins and advisories which contributed to the prevention of further damage and loss. All’s a win for PAG-ASA this time, except for one forecaster who, while talking to Mike Enriquez on TV, erroneously called the typhoon, “super bagyong Mike.”

Photoshop victim of the week: Rachel McAdams

What’s worse than a badly photoshopped grad pic? An InStyle November 2010 cover. Rachel McAdams graces the cover of the magazine’s latest issue, though the Photoshopper surely disgraced her. Comments flared up around the interwebs as soon as the issue was released, with comments on her unnaturally woody complexion, strangely constipation-stricken look, and extraction halo (you know, when you don’t clean up after you use the Magic Eraser). InStyle, I don’t know about you, but it might be time to do some housecleaning.