Dealing with our erroneous zones

This Week’s Winner

Raymundo P. Labarda Jr. is the recipient of the 2004 President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo Leadership Medallion for Outstanding Leadership in Community Service in San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan. A graduate of BS Education from the Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila, he is teaching history at the Living Water Christian Academy.

MANILA, Philippines - A story is told about a man named Harold who seemed to be the epitome of anxiety. He worried about everything, to the point that he got very sickly and began to lose weight alarmingly. He even developed insomnia because he was worrying that his family would starve to death if he lost his job.

He eventually did lose his job. His worries seemed justified at first glance. From another point of view, however, his obsession with failure actually triggered his downfall. Call it a wish-fulfilling prophecy, if you will, but the adage is true: What the mind conceives becomes reality.

But Harold wasn’t a hopeless basket case. Mysteriously, everything turned out to his advantage in the end. “Within three days he had secured another position, one which gave him both better pay and a great deal more satisfaction,” according to his therapist, Dr. Wayne Dyer. “All of his worry had been useless. His family has not starved, and Harold has not collapsed. Like many worry-producing visions of gloom, the eventuality resulted in benefits rather than horror. Harold learned firsthand the futility of worry, and he has since successfully began to adopt a non-worrying approach to life.”

This true story serves as a wakeup call and an illustration of a timeless principle. And it is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, in the beautifully life-changing, self-improvement guidebook Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer of St. John’s University in New York. The phrase “erroneous zones” refers to negative feelings and attitudes that are pulling us down and preventing us from reaching our full potential. Some of these are envy, anger, guilt, rigidity, insecurity and procrastination, and of course, worry.

Let’s take envy as another case study. Have you encountered people who start to behave differently once you have shown progress in your professional or personal life? Of course, that is assuming that you are still the same person after achieving success. There are people who will envy you and that’s part of human nature. You have to be strong because envy easily morphs into resentment — against your success and against you. Envy is a great evil, and one of the most insidious erroneous zones.

But let’s go back to the discussion on worrying because there’s a lot of insight in this book that you will probably hear for the first time. We all need to make plans and contingency measures, so worry is not bad, per se. But it can become toxic. Dr. Dyer clarifies the dividing line: “I define worry as being immobilized in the present because of concern about something in the future over which you have scant control.”

Now we know what it is, the most logical question is: What are we going to do about it? This entails going to the root of the problem. Why do we worry anyway? Dr. Dyer probes the deepest levels of the human psyche. “In order to reduce worry, it is necessary to understand the subconscious psychological ‘pay-offs’ from choosing to worry in the first place.”

Escapism is one of these self-defeating dividends. By brooding over uncontrollable events, you escape whatever it is that threatens you now. Dr. Dyer shares his own testimony. In the summer of 1974, he was teaching and writing in Turkey, while his family was in the United States. His worries about his daughter Tracy Lynn prevented him from doing the things he needed to do.

Avoiding risks is another twisted benefit. Why take risks if you can spend that moment in fruitless worrying? “By using your worry as the reason for immobility, you can avoid having to take risks,” says Dr. Dyer.

Another one is self-glorification. This sounds embarrassing but sometimes we want to show other people how saintly and selfless we are. “By ostentatiously worrying about someone else, you can label yourself as a caring person.” Apparently, even anxious folks need to have their egos stroked once in a while.

Justification is another neurotic payoff. Did you notice yourself eating more when you feel blue? With no judgment value whatsoever, “you have a sensational reason for hanging on to the worry behavior,” advises Dr. Dyer.

Excessive worrying will make you sick in the long run. Worry can bring ulcers, hypertension, cramps, tension headaches, and backaches. While these may not seem to be payoffs, they do result in considerable attention from others and justify self-pity as well.

Now it’s time to get to the business of banishing worry. Dr. Dyer gives some precious insights. First, “Begin to view your present moments as times to live, rather than times to worry about the future.” If you begin to worry, ask what you are avoiding because you are worrying instead of facing it.

Second, “The best antidote to worry is action.” You don’t just sit around and fret — you just get up and actually do something about it.

Third, “Recognize the preposterousness of each particular worry. Ask yourself over and over: Will the future change as a result of my worrying about it?” Can you count the great many fears you have known but never happened?

Fourth, “Give yourself shorter and shorter periods of worrying time.” Scheduling your anxiety is a great way to control it — and by extension, your whole life. You suddenly remember that you haven’t done your homework — but you can’t worry about it because your worry time is 10 p.m. and it’s only 9 a.m. I would suggest that you finish your tasks now so you will be free tonight to worry about something else.

Fifth, “Act in direct conflict with your usual areas of worry.” Face your fears! Defy them! Your budget is already outbalanced but you still need to buy rice? Buy two kilos! You can worry about finances tonight at 10.

By and large, Your Erroneous Zones is more than a manual for emotional repair and maintenance — it’s a blueprint for happiness and fulfillment. “Enjoy life,” counsels Dr, Dyer. “Don’t waste the present with immobilizing thoughts about the future.”