One day at a time

Much too fast. It is March already and I hardly even felt February’s kiss. Life’s busyness, its ebb and flow — it just is never the same from year to year. Gone are the templates I always thought we all snugly fit into — December is always like this, January is never like this, February is sometimes like this. The months of our lives… I now know for sure that they can never be stereotyped. Things are always different. And we are always on a different level of being and listening.

Today, my husband and I got back from a week-long trip to the States. Piled neatly on my desk is about six inches worth of mail, magazine subscriptions not included. All around our room are things that need to be put away, little satellites of activity areas that need to be reorganized. And then there is the rest of the house. It’s back to reality, back to the huff and puff of life in Manila as it finds me now. I am overwhelmed. Between being a wife and mother, with a household to run, and work commitments to fulfill, my husband’s campaign, and my daughter’s many activities, where do I even begin?

I catch sight of a plastic coin I Blu-Tacked visibly on the edge of the shelf directly above my desk. "One Day At A Time," it simply says on its face. It was part of a thoughtful present I got last year, and the message was never as true as it was that very moment for me. Almost immediately, but not quite really, I felt better. Yes, that’s a thought. I just have to tackle it one day at a time.

My daughter showed me a notebook she had carefully filled with words neatly written in block letters. She had also made a few attempts at writing her name in script, even though they do not teach this at her level yet. She has long been fascinated by adult penmanship, how the lines go up and down like the limbs of a graceful little dancer, looping here and there, ending not as an abrupt line but a charming, lilted curve. She has gotten better at it, with practice, and simply on her own. She also showed me sheets of drawings she made and colored, all so pretty and so sweet, one for each day her daddy and I were away. I’m amazed at how good she has become, coming from the stick drawings she started with. I was quite artistic as a kid but I sure did not have her imagination and unapologetic use of colors.

"How did you do this, Juliana, it looks so pretty," I tell her, remembering how I would sometimes catch her on the verge of breaking her pencils and with tears of frustration in her eyes when she could not get it quite right. She wants to learn everything in one go, and is an innocent believer in the axiom, "Desire plus initiative equals instant perfection/learning." Just today I realized that, slowly, she is learning to be patient — with herself, especially.

Fruits and flowers don’t grow overnight, I have told her many, many times, and she has nodded and agreed, many, many times as well.

"How did you do this, Juliana," I ask her again, so proud at how much she has grown, both in talent and temperament. "Little by little every day, Mommy."

Yes, I must practice what I preach.

I have clothes to put away, toys to give, a garden to grow, a basement to fix…. One Day At A Time, I remind myself. There are books to read, people to forgive, dreams to make, fears to conquer… I can do it all, One Day At A Time. I have prayers to send heavenward, places to visit, pictures to keep, relationships to treasure… yes, yes, One Day At A Time.

Everything, just about everything, is diffused into more manageable bits when we remember to take them on "little by little every day." Only then will we not feel overwhelmed, crushed helplessly under what sometimes feels like the weight of the world, like a little child lost in the woods with more fear than hope in his heart.

Remember the turtle in the childhood story we all grew up with? It is easy for me to feel that way, many times in one week. There is a whole chunk of many little somethings to do, and despite my best efforts, I seem to be making little or no progress, moving at a snail’s pace. There is just too much to do. Where do I even begin?

But like the turtle I can choose to faithfully tread on, little by little, one day at a time.

One Day At A Time. It makes what we bite just so much more easier to chew.

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There will be an Introductory Centering Prayer seminar from March 16 to 18 at the Karis Retreat House in Tagaytay. For reservations and inquiries, call 842-0201 and 842-4030.