The real Richard Gomez

Last Monday, April 28, was our fifth wedding anniversary. Richard and I celebrated it quietly with just a very small dinner with family and friends. It was impromptu actually, meaning I did not book a table at any restaurant until the very last minute because I wasn’t quite sure what time Richard would be done with work. Fortunately, he finished quite early and we ended up having a delicious dinner at Good Earth located at The Fort. This year, I couldn’t think of anything to give him but as I was going through my drawer I found something that I chanced upon in Dimensione a couple of months back and bought for no apparent reason nor occasion. It’s a small, clear bottle with a metal lid and inside it is some sand together with a rolled-up piece of blank paper tied with string––message in a bottle, as the packaging aptly says. It’s very charming in a romantic, old-fashioned way and I simply wrote him something that came straight from the heart. Hopefully, as time goes by, he will chance upon it from among his things and remember that there’s a lot of love bottled up in there.

A couple of days before our anniversary, I was being interviewed for a magazine and like most others the girl asked me again what it felt like to be married this long to the man that is Richard Gomez. Hmmmm… I’ve been in this relationship for so long and I now know my husband so well – not in the context of his movie/TV persona but as a real individual – that I almost always forget people don’t know him as I and his close circle of friends do.

First off, he is just as real and regular as the guy next to you. Stripped of his movie star image, he simply is daddy to our two-year-old daughter Juliana in addition of course to being my husband and bestfriend. Like I mentioned earlier, we are in our fifth year now as husband and wife and despite the fairytale-like circumstances upon which we met, fell in love, and got married, our relationship is as real as it gets. Real in the sense that though not perfect, it is strong and ideally happy, if I may say so.

I am lucky because I married a man secure enough to let me be the person God designed me to be (I don’t think I’m even there yet). I believe I am still a work in progress and my husband, in keeping with his innate character of always wanting to be the best that he can be, likewise encourages me to keep on growing, to try new things, and pursue my interests. Never say never, he always gently reminds me.

In a similar way, I let him be his own person. I welcome and embrace what he loves to do and it is important to me that his friends are as welcome to come to our home as they were when Richard was still a bachelor. I do not believe in holding him back or stopping him from pursue his many interests except those which I think are far too dangerous for his own good. When I feel that he is not spending enough time with me and Juliana, there is nothing like being upfront about it. I will not expect him to guess what I’m feeling, I will gently let him know. It’s either I make lambing to him for some time off that we can spend together or I do the next best thing––I go with him and try to enjoy the sport he’s into, even just as a spectator. Happily though, even if I’m not athletic by nature I really appreciate sports and am not a complete idiot in terms of understanding the mechanics of the game. At the most, I will even try it out once if only to see what it’s like. To date, I’ve tried target shooting, trap shooting, a teeny weeny bit of golf, and yes, even fishing which I kinda liked. I’ve never tried fencing though, not that I want to. I guess I’ll be better off just cleaning the blades or cheering him on.

Let me tell you about the first time I went fishing with him. I’m sure he overestimated my capabilities because my first time was actually a true-blue fishing tournament and truth be told, I guess I was a liability more than I ever was an asset. But my patient husband did not once complain. We had to be in Caliraya by 7 a.m., which meant we had to leave by around 3:30 a.m. just to avoid the traffic. We were off to a good start or so I thought, until it started to rain heavily. Nobody told me about the rain. So there I was in the fishing boat with a raincoat that kept the upper half of my body dry and the lower half soaking wet. Determined to be a trooper, I did not complain until I started shivering and Richard ended up laughing. We had to go back to shore to let the rain pass and change into dry clothes. Once inside the van though, I coaxed him into taking a short nap that eventually took up the whole morning. We both woke up lunchtime to find half the day gone with not one fish to speak of! When we all met the other competitors for lunch, we were the only ones without a catch. We made up for it by afternoon and went home with a good number of fish, not big and plenty enough for us to win but the bottomline was that we had fun. I actually never thought I would enjoy it as much as I did. My point is, it is important for couples to spend time together not necessarily by just doing things they both are interested in. From time to time, it pays to compromise.

Before, I would gauge Richard’s affection by establishing how I would act under the same circumstances. I have come to realize though that just as each person is different, so too are married couples.

And I guess that is the beauty of loving someone. You take and appreciate him for all that he is. The magic happens when that feeling is reciprocated and together you grow in love.

My husband is sweet in an unconventional way. He is not big on surprising me when there is an occasion, rather he makes it even more special by sweeping me off my feet over and over again with the spontaneity of it all. He is the only guy who ever gave me flowers – a whole big bunch – that was not arranged by a florist. I think he literally picked the flowers. Just last Valentine’s Day, I woke up to a house full of roses. Everywhere I looked there were vases and vases of flowers. It was one of those melting moments. He’s thoughtful too in the sense that he picks up things for me in the grocery that he thinks I might like even if I don’t ask him to.

He’s also very indulgent. I just had a fish and chips phase and I kept on lamenting that our cook could not prepare it the way I wanted. Lo and behold, I woke up one Sunday morning to find him in the kitchen cooking up one of the best fish and chips I’ve ever had. Apparently, he researched on the Internet, studied two or three recipes and got the best inputs to come up with his masterpiece. He did the same when I craved for liver pate’ and omelette. When it’s too late to go out at night and I feel like munching on something, he is the one who goes to the kitchen to fix me a bite.

Richard is consistently protective of and very gentle with me and though I always tell him I love him, I don’t think I thank him often enough for being the kind of husband that he is to me. Happy Anniversary again, honey. I thank God for bringing you into my life. And like I always tell you even when we are both old and gray, every time you hug me I just know that you will still take my breath away.