Kris, Lechon and Tita Cory

If Kris’ story (not Kris’ body, ha) were a dish on a fiesta table, she would be the crispy lechon. Hands down, it (again, the story and not the body) would be voted the hottest dish in town. Whether the guests are humble hungry gluttons or high-heeled picky bulimics. Only, too much of lechon (this time of Kris, too) makes one want to puke.

In my husband’s family, a lechon is always served whole on a separate table. Everyone eagerly gathers around it to get a piece of the crispy skin. And each one, without fail, passes judgment after the first bite. Malutong, matigas, makunat, mataba, malaman, masarap, nakakasawa. And everyone has a different intention with the leftover afterwards: ipaksiw, ipirito, ihihaw, isinigang o pamigay na lang.

Last Sunday, over a lunch of lechon, we talked about Kris. I am sorry, Kris, it is just hard not to. Though none of us know you personally, I guess your being a celebrity justifies our few minutes of tongue bashing conversation. After all, it is public opinion that makes or breaks your career.

Besides, your love stories are far more interesting than the rise of the dollar rate, the beheading of the recent captives of the Abu Sayyaf and the resignations of Roco and Bañez. In fact, Malacañang should be grateful to you, at least momentarily. You took the heat off from all the disturbing news. And that is why Malacañang wanted your newfound sweetheart Joey to stand next to your family at the memorial park. You and Joey will steal the scene away from Roco and GMA. That would have been a masterstroke! And since nabitin sila, many await your next move like a telenovela. How do you decide to end your saga? Is it going to be a case of "Love always wins at the end." Which love kaya? Lover’s love or mother’s love?

Like the lechon, people have conflicting opinions of Kris. Some more cruel than others. Many cannot understand her choice of men. One declared that Kris is not in love with either Ipe or of Joey, but in love with their complicated lifestyles. Maybe, one said, the Aquino home is too proper and boring, thus Kris finds excitement in other people’s homes. I personally admire her for being honest. She is always first to admit her amorous affairs when in showbiz it is the norm to deny.

But more than Kris and her men, what caught my interest was listening to people drag Cory into the picture. What she ought to do with her! Her choices seem to be as many as what one can do with the leftover lechon. (I am sorry, I keep on going back to the lechon. I can’t help it). Cory must: Disinherit her; tell her to get out of showbiz; give her to Noynoy for Cory is too soft; take na lang Joshua and pamigay na si Kris; or, however absurd this may sound, get a notorious lover (Strunk, maybe) so this time Kris will do the worrying while Cory can have the fun. Poor Cory, everyone seems to know what to do with Kris except her. Some even blame her for allowing Kris to enter showbiz.

And this is not because these opinionated ones especially care for Kris; not because Cory is a much admired public figure; not because they do not see any good qualities in Joey; not even because they are ideal parents with ideal children. But simply because people love to discipline other people’s children. Don’t you agree? As they say, the best person to discipline your child is your neighbor? The nosy neighbor especially. I wonder what it would be like if my "know it all" neighbor disciplined my son while I discipline his.

Once, in a party, a father complained about his friend’s son. "He is so undisciplined, " he said. "The parents, especially the mother, cannot control him. What they should do is stop him once and then spank him the second time to teach him a lesson. That is what I do with my son." But before he could finish "preaching," his own son creates a scene and he gives in to the little boy’s tantrums like a meek lamb. This time his friend whispers to me, "His kid is such a brat. He surely could use some spanking." I could not help but smile. I think both fathers badly needed spanking, in the mouth especially.

Each time I do not approve of other children’s behavior, I bite my tongue and comment not. I then remind myself of the two fathers. I shut up fast because I have my own son to discipline and my own imperfections to fix.

I have a very high regard for Cory. In fact, I named my son Nico, short for Ninoy and Cory as he was born on February 18, 1986, Edsa revolution time. As a mother, I can relate to her professed unconditional love for Kris.