Story of a Bosom Buddy

When you reach midlife, it will suddenly occur to you that you can no longer avoid visits to your OB-gyne. I have reached this stage where I think I am at high risk for just about every illness that could afflict women, one of the most dreaded of which is breast cancer.

Last October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I felt that it was just apt to write the inspiring story of Linda Panutat, who is this year’s recipient of the Bessie Legarda Memorial Award and co-founder of Bosom Buddies, a support group for breast cancer survivors.

The award is given yearly in honor of Bessie Legarda, the mother of Senator Loren Legarda-Leviste, who died of breast cancer in 1996. The award was first given out last year to Dr. Stephanie Jeffrey of Stanford University who visited the country to share her knowledge and expertise during a breast cancer symposium.

This year, the award went to Linda Panutat, who, along with Dr. Diana Cua, one of the country’s foremost surgical oncologists, founded the support group Bosom Buddies. According to Senator Legarda, "The award was given to Panutat for her selfless efforts in providing moral, spiritual and educational support to breast cancer survivors."

Linda says that she accepted the award in behalf of Bosom Buddies and all breast cancer survivors.

Linda is one of the most jovial people I’ve ever met. I interviewed her for this article. This is her story:

"It was way back in 1997 – I was 49 years old then – when I noticed this red dot on my right breast while taking a shower. I simply ignored it.

"Then months later, I noticed that it was still there, but it was already discolored. I went to see my doctor and he said that there was a lump and that he had to remove it. But he didn’t tell me that he suspected it was cancer. He recommended that I undergo an excision biopsy. In an excision biopsy, they remove the tumor and then have it checked.

(At this moment, Linda’s cellphone rings. It is a 25-year-old woman who is already in stage two of her breast cancer. Breast cancer goes from stage zero to stage four. In stage four, the cancer would have already spread to the other organs of a person’s body. The woman found out last year that she had breast cancer, but she was too scared to undergo a mammography and biopsy. She attended one session of Bosom Buddies but never went back. But this year, she finally went through a mammography and wants to join Bossom Buddies again. Linda encourages her to do so.)

"I was an outpatient. That night, I called the doctor to tell me the results. He told me to go see him at the clinic the next day. I told him that he had to tell me the results immediately on the phone, as I had work the next day. You have no choice but to tell me," I told the doctor.

"He said, ‘You’re positive.’

"’Positive for what?’ I asked.

"‘You’re tumor is malignant,’ he said.

"‘You’re kidding,’ I said, ‘Linoloko mo ako.’

"He said, ‘Bakit naman kita lolokohin?’

"I told the doctor, ‘Bahala ka na magsabi sa mommy ko! Sige, may sakit iyan!’

"The next day I went with my mom to the clinic. My mom started to cry. I told my mom, 'Don’t worry, this cancer is the easiest to cure. Nobody dies of breast cancer. It’s when the cancer spreads to other organs that you die.

"I checked in that night and had a mastectomy the following day.

"How did I feel about the whole thing? You know, I didn’t cry during the diagnosis. I told myself that if I had to survive, I needed to go through the operation. It was only after three weeks when I removed the bandage and saw myself that I broke down and cried.

"I called the doctor and actually told him, "Why did you mutilate me?!"

"He calmed me down and said, 'I already explained it to you.' He offered to come to the house to see me.

"At that point, I realized that I should’ve talked to someone who went through whole thing first so I could understand the situation better.

"I went to the US for three months for chemotherapy. I stayed in Naples, Florida. Three months was good because it was the longest vacation I ever had.

"I had friends in Florida to give me moral support. One day I felt depressed, I went to the beach and saw all kinds of birds that I had never seen in my life. Pelicans, herons, seagulls. I saw hundreds of fish jump out of the water and two dolphins swimming after the fish. I told myself, 'If God will take care of them, He will take care of me. I decided at that point that when I would come back to Manila, I would start a support group.

"That’s how Bosom Buddies started. Hey, do you know that there was a study in the US that if your right breast is the one afflicted, you usually have some resentment towards a man while if it’s the left breast, you usually have a conflict with a female? This is not confirmed ha. But we did a sample study with 20 members of Bosom Buddies and the study was 98 percent accurate!

"In 1998, a close relative found a lump in her breast and I brought her to some doctors. The doctors recommended Dr. Diana Cua, who was a breast cancer surgeon and had just returned home from a fellowship at Stanford University. I told Dr. Cua that I was planning to start a breast cancer support group and it turned out that at that time, she was also looking for someone to start it. She had met a woman, Marisette Galang, also a breast cancer survivor, in Stanford but she was looking for someone older to start it with.

"In January 1999, we had our first meeting – three co-founders and two members. Every other Thursday from 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. We talk about everything – nutrition, the art of healing, beauty tips. We share experiences. Older survivors are matched with the more recent ones so then can give counselling. Anyone who is a breast cancer survivor can join. Take note, we are called survivors and not victims.

"Out of the 80 members of Bosom Buddies, we know of only one whose husband left her and her three kids after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The rest have had very supportive husbands and usually, when their wives are undergoing treatment, the husbands attend the sessions with them. One member told us that after she removed her bandages, her husband said, 'Oh, it doesn’t look so bad. It looks like you’re winking at me!'"

"I wear a prosthesis now. I remember in Florida, something funny happened to me. I was coming out of a Jaguar owned by a friend. Since it was a Jaguar, I was feeling like some sort of a glamour girl. I unbuckled the seatbelt that had fit very closely to my chest. Since I wasn’t wearing the mastectomy bra yet (where you can insert the prosthesis in the pad), the seatbelt had apparently moved my prosthesis. The moment I came out of the Jaguar, Ms. Glamour Girl’s prosthesis falls out in the parking lot in full view of everyone."

(A friend who was around during the interview says, "The good thing about prosthesis is that your boobs don’t sag.")

"Among all cancers, breast cancer is the most dreaded among women because it hits us directly. But early detection is encouraged because your survival rate will be higher.

"Having breast cancer doesn’t mean a death sentence. Consider it as a blessing to renew your faith and to start thinking of doing good for others."