What Family Means
June 17, 2001 | 12:00am
"You can change your friends but you can’t change your family." – One of my mom’s favorite maxims
We often hurt the ones we should love most. I have seen husbands reprimand their wives, treating them worse than slaves; and I have heard kids curse their parents as if it was the parents who owed them the world. I have witnessed lovers quarrel with so much hatred and bitterness to the point of wishing death upon each other; and I have seen parents punish their children with whips of thorn and unfeeling hearts of stone.
Strange, but I am guilty of this, too. Like whenever I get a phone call from my sister while in the middle of doing something, I quickly give her the cold, irritated, "I don’t have the time for you now" tone of voice and immediately cut her call short. But my sister understands my quirks, and knows that I love her dearly so she would just leave me be for the moment.
We are connected to our family by blood and that is the bond that links us to them forever. We must take care of that bond, and strengthen and nourish it. For when we are in deep trouble, it will be our family who will eventually save us. It is high time for us to wake up and realize the value of the family in our lives.
"I’m so sorry!" was my reply.
Then he said, "Excuse me, too,
For I didn’t watch out for you."
But at home, a different story is told,
Of how we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later, in the kitchen, as I cooked our meal,
My daughter crept up to me, very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked her down.
"Get out of the way!" I barked with a frown.
She sauntered away, with her little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
That night, as I lay awake in bed,
God’s quiet voice spoke to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, you’re calm and polite,
But with those you love, you’re quick to excite…
Go look right now on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.
"Those are the flowers she brought for you.
She picked them herself...pink, yellow, and blue.
She stood there quietly, not to spoil your surprise,
And you never saw the tears in her eyes."
By this time, I felt sad and small
And now my own tears had begun to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by her bed,
"Wake up, sweetheart, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
She smiled, "I found ‘em, out by the tree.
I wrapped ‘em in a napkin, just for you.
I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue."
I said, "I’m so sorry that I missed them today…
And I shouldn’t have fussed at you that way."
And she whispered, "Mommy, that’s okay…
I still love you anyway."
I hugged her and said, "I love you too…
And I love my flowers, especially the blue." – Author unknown
Most of us pour more time and effort into our work than into our families. Be aware that if you died tomorrow, the company you are working for could easily replace you in a matter of days. But the family you leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
Share more time with your family and loved ones while you can. Your children will remember the quantity and quality of time you spend with them. Do it now because they won’t be with you forever. Sooner than you think, they will have to go out into the world to live their own lives and find their destiny. What is important is not what kind of a parent you really are but what they remember you to be!
I was able to serve my mother and grandmother well but to this day, one of my biggest regrets in life was my failure to serve my father. During my student days, my father brought to my dormitory all the things I needed for school, including my food. Yet in his lifetime I don’t ever remember having said "Thank you." In fact, after his first stroke, it was my youngest brother who took care of him. I was then a government scholar in the United States.
I recall having come home from my studies abroad and before long, I was again given the opportunity to return to the US for further studies. My father allowed and encouraged me to go back to the university even against the wishes of my mother. He even saw me off at the airport.
Two weeks later, I received a telephone call that he had died. My mother told me later that when my plane took off, my father cried. He probably knew he would not see me again.
I have been successful in many aspects of my life, but to this day my biggest failure was not having been able to thank my father for all the sacrifices he made for me. I guess though that wherever he is now, he knows that I love him very much.
Today, many children fail to express their love for their parents. They fail to realize the love, care and sacrifice their parents do for them. Children should be taught to love and respect their parents. – Ariel Waters
1. Love, honor, and serve thy father and thy mother.
2. Love, guide, and listen to thy children.
3. Love and care for thy siblings.
4. Reach out to thy relatives and extended families.
5. Always deal with thy family members with love, understanding, compassion, and generosity. Remember that how thou art treated is how thou treateth them.
6. Express thy love and concern for all members of thy family at all times.
7. Always lend a helping hand and an understanding ear to members of thy family.
8. Work for financial stability to be able to provide well for thy family.
9. Fill thy home with love, happiness, wisdom, inspiration, music, laughter, and beauty.
10. Put God, goodness, and righteousness at the center of thy family’s life. – Rajarishid, Teachings
The most amazing thing about my 85-year-old dad is that his mind is still so crystal sharp. Even though his body is weak, his brain is in tiptop shape. He used to relate to us his life experiences that were remarkable both in detail and chronological accuracy. But now with the breathing tube attached to his mouth, he can only answer "yes" or "no" by raising his eyebrows or pressing his hand on the inquisitor’s hand.
I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to his expert medical team composed of Dr. Danilo Kuizon, Dr. Adrian Peña, Dr. Roberto Ingles, and the caring nurses of the PHC especially Rod Ramirez and Marivic Prudencio. I would also like to thank the amiable Dr. Lester Garcia, Dr. Sam Yrestorza (he is my dad’s angel!) and Dr. Albert Pasia.
Time is your worst enemy – you won’t know if you or they will still be here tomorrow. Make peace with them and settle your deep-seated issues in the most understanding and amicable manner or else, you will carry that burden your whole life!
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