Festival fresh

Every year, when the Coachella lineup pops up on the Internet, I ask myself why I still haven’t managed to earn enough to make it there. (It especially sucked when Refused were on the lineup in 2012. Refused! I watched their set on YouTube and felt very, very sad that I wasn’t getting my face melted off by the sweet sound of New Noise live.)

But in hindsight, I don’t think I could hack a festival. I didn’t go to 7107 IMF (despite wanting very badly to sing along to Under the Bridge at the top of my lungs, with feelings, while waving my arms above my head, “I don’t ever wanna feeeeeeeeeel like I did that day!”) and I’m not going to Malasimbo this weekend because, well, I’m broke. But even if I weren’t, I’m not entirely sure Miss Priss could handle hours upon hours of sun and heat, standing on my feet, overpriced water, the prospect of Portalets, and the sweat of strangers. Because that’s what it is, isn’t it? Don’t be fooled by the fabulous celebrity photos; only a select, beautiful handful get VIP treatment. The rest of us plebes must subsist on our love for the music.

Give me a band I love enough, though, and I’ll be there with nary a second thought. With more and more festivals happening in the country every year, my attendance at one sometime in the near future is inevitable. I figure it would be good to be prepared. The crop top-ready bod will remain in the realm of wishful thinking, but my beauty kit is so set. I don’t know what everyone else brought to last week’s festival (or will be bringing to this weekend’s), but this is, hypothetically, what I’d have stashed in my bag. (Not drugs, PDEA, not drugs.)

Tint

Sure, a bunch of people showed up with spectacularly sexy eye makeup that looked awesome in pictures, but for the low-maint festival-goer, all you really need is a good lip-and-cheek tint to keep you looking fresh. Plus, you won’t even need a mirror to put it on, which makes it easy to refresh your look on the fly. (The Face Shop's My Lips Eat Cherry Aqua Tint comes in three shades.)

Sunscreen

You’re going to be outdoors the entire day. You need this. Desperately. UV damage is not your friend, just look at Lindsay Lohan. (SPF 30 is the minimum, and easy-to-apply Sisley Super Solaire Stick's two variants, colorless and tinted, have it.)

Something that will nix all your bad odors

You’re going to be there for upwards of, what, six to eight hours? You’re going to be outdoors, you’re going to sweat. For the love of God, be considerate of the people around you. Don’t be another one of those side-boob sando-clad guys and girls who smell like death. The environment is such that even the heaviest duty of anti-perspirant/deodorants may let you down. Pack a small stick in your bag or something (aerosols would be more convenient but aren’t usually allowed; try Dove Pure in stick or roll-on form). And if you want to refresh your scent, make sure the one you bring isn’t too strong or offensive. If you’ve ever dealt with a headache because some random in the office decided to bathe in a whole bottle of a cloying floriental, you know what I’m talking about. Fresh, clean, light fragrances will keep you smelling good without making everyone around you suffer. (Personal fave: pureDKNY Touch of Verbena.)

Dry shampoo

Your hair will look super flower child fabulous for, like, the first half hour. Then the sweat and the heat will set in, and it will flatten into a hot mess like nothing else. That’s when you crack out the dry shampoo. Four hours in, when the grease is seriously starting to bother you, you’re going to want to sprinkle the stuff on your scalp to suck it all up. (A bottle of Lush No Drought will be more than enough for you and all your user-friendly girlfriends.)

Wipes

Based on firsthand accounts from friends who went to 7107, the venue was understandably dusty as hell. There’s no place to freshen up, really, and dust gets all over your skin—even around your nostrils, apparently, because of course you have to breathe. That’s where facial cleansing or makeup removing wipes come in. (Koh Gen Do's Cleansing Spa Water Cloths come in packs of 10, so one will have you set for the whole day.) Is it a little excessive to clean your face and reapply everything (sunblock, whatever makeup you have on, etc.) every couple of hours? Maybe. Will it feel really good? Yes. Will your pores thank you? Definitely. Also, it’ll force you to reapply your sunscreen, which is absolutely essential, but something that almost everyone is too lazy to do.