Six beauty rules for 2013

Knowledge is power, I like to tell my dog. (He is the only one who truly listens to me.) For 2013, arm yourself with the knowledge that not all products or beauty rules are there to help you. While wading through the bogus and the bananas, I’ve come to the conclusion that some myths and conventions deserve to be sent to the retirement home stat, while some common sense rules are prevalent simply because they are good for you.

1. Your lady parts don’t need bleaching

Is there nothing more infuriating than corporations hawking whitening products to prey on consumers’ vulnerabilities? The latest ignoble product to hit the market is Lactacyd White Intimate, which promises to safely lighten your vagina in four weeks. When the commercial first aired, I thought: This is a joke, an elaborate hoax that involves millions of pesos poured into a marketing strategy designed to exploit our notions of beauty and perfection and sexual objectification. But, no. Based on my last tour of the supermarket, this actually exists.

I didn’t know my vagina needed whitening. But then I don’t cater to a market of mysogynistic corporate douchebags.

Even the folks at HuffPo were astounded by the debut of the product, with Sara Nelson writing: “Online literature for the product ominously informs us: ‘Sweat and excessive friction from tight clothing can darken the skin around the intimate area, causing self-consciousness, decreased confidence or inhibiting intimacy.’ So far so absurd, but in a world where cosmetics companies promise to ‘brighten’ and even tighten our vaginas, little white vulvas appear to be big business.”

So, ladies, a word of advice. Don’t fall for the hype. To paraphrase Bruno Mars: You (and your vagina) are beautiful, just the way you are.

2. Washing your face can help slow down aging

It’s a no-brainer but everyone needs to be reminded of the fact: Free radicals often cling to makeup — or even just the top layer of skin –– which can age any complexion. Cleansing skin of elements that can age is a key step. Not to mention that leaving oil buildup and leftover makeup overnight can cause clogged pores and breakouts. If you’re the kind to fall asleep in your makeup, keep a container of makeup remover tissues by the bed so you can simply wipe it off before you pass out like an ungraceful lump.

3. Sharing is not caring

The next time your friend asks to borrow your newest collection of eyeshadow, firmly but kindly tell her “Bitch, no.” Bacteria often flourishes in makeup tins and creamy formulas. Sharing them — like mascara or blush — can cause infection. Best to share products that come in share-friendly containers like pump bottles.

4. Thick makeup can age you

Is there nothing more aging than the overly-thick padded faces after a layer of heavy foundation and primer? At Milan Fashion Week, I glimpsed makeup masters like Tom Pecheux apply makeup with a light hand, informing me that for spring-summer “makeup must be dewy, fresh. Foundation doesn’t have to be heavy.” He spent roughly five to 10 minutes prepping the skin by massaging moisturizer and then skipped primer and base, lightly dotting the face with foundation where it was needed. Brushes can be heavy handed so using a damp wedge sponge to blend foundation offers a sheer finish that keeps skin young-looking and dewy.

5. Mo’ products, mo’ problems

To (mis)qoute Norman Bates: We all go a little crazy sometimes. Particularly in the beauty aisle of the supermarket or department store. For the product hag who likes to boast of a 12-or 20-step regimen: the joke’s on you.

Layering numerous products without double-checking to see if they’re compatible can often result in breakouts or irritation. Active ingredients can cancel each other out, while skin damage can occur from harsh ingredients that are incompatible. Treating one skin condition like acne, while tending another skin problem like sunburn or wrinkles at the same time can be counterintuitive, particularly if the chemicals in various formulas react negatively to the each other.

Want to avoid doubling products? Streamline your regimen. You’re more likely to keep to it, especially when traveling if it’s a workable process that involves the key trifecta: cleanse, tone, moisturize. And double check for ingredients like vitamin C, retinol, glycolic acid which shouldn’t be layered on top of the other.

6. Disinfect your cellphone

Your iPhone may be your access point to the world but it’s also a great bacteria carrier. I tend to place my phone willy nilly — from public restaurant tables to my pillow later that night. Not to mention those long phone calls detailing the world’s ills (“Why is the peplum trend still alive?”), with a bacteria-ridden gadget pressed against the face. Disinfect your phone every day with one gentle wipe of alcohol on a kleenex to keep bacteria at bay.