The 30-year-old virgin

Call me a prude. Or conservative. Call me a coward, even. A sad excuse for a late bloomer. But up until last week, I had never done it.

I had never found the need to, even when girl friends said it was worth the pain. That it was life-changing. I replied that it was just another complication that I didn’t have time for.

But I succumbed last weekend. Maybe I was bored. Or feeling masochistic. But I finally agreed to do it. At 31 years old, this Brazilian waxing virgin agreed to a stripping.

Choosing where to go for the first time was pretty easy. A Brazilian veteran friend clicked off her personal choices: Lay Bare, where the re-growth time was slow or Strip, which she voted the most hygienic. Another friend passed on the number of her waxer, Amy. Apparently, Amy also does home waxing services for many celebrities and uses incessant chatting to shield off any form of waxing grief.

I figured if I were to endure excruciating pain, I would at least want to in the cleanest waxing salon there was. So I chose the Strip in Serendra. Beyond the cheerful interiors, liberally decorated with framed campaigns of brazen visuals accompanied by laconically witty copy, was a team of waxers, called “Striperellas” that took their hygiene quite seriously. The pre-waxing experience felt like a surgery prepping: antiseptic wipes, latex gloves and a surgical mask covering half of my waxer’s face.

But another plus point for Strip was their new Brazilian virgin-friendly strawberry wax, a creamy pink hair-off mix specially concocted for first time, uh, “under achievers.” Created at the Strip mother company in Singapore, this strawberry wax has both chamomile and aloe vera, both known for their soothing and healing properties. Due to its soft, creamy consistency, the wax is supposed to be easy to apply and can be spread thinly on the skin, making it essentially easier for hairs to adhere to the stripping cloth.

To her credit, my Strip waxer never promised a completely painless procedure. Because I would have never believed her, anyway. After the first stripping, effected quickly and very efficiently, I immediately thought that I’d rather self-flagellate. After the second one, I was seriously considering adoption; if the pain from Brazilian waxing was only a hundredth of the pain from childbirth, then I never wanted to get pregnant. On the third stripping, close to the most sensitive parts, Striperella told me to take a deep breath. I did, for all the help it offered; I wanted to walk out and burn all my tiny string bikinis. That, or start screaming for an epidural.

The morning after: Strip’s post-waxing kit meant for Brazilian virgins include creams to soothe and to prevent ingrown hair, a body scrub for exfoliating and serum that retards hair growth.

On the fourth time, I sneaked a peek. And realized that the pain was, probably, worth it. (Why didn’t I do this during beach season?) By the time only a tiny strip of hair was left, I had already calmed down. I asked my waxer if she was taking it all off and she said that a completely bare finish was recommended for virgins. I could asked for the “shapes” on my succeeding visits, she added, gesturing to a poster on the wall that showed illustrations of Brazilian possibilities: a landing strip-line, arrows pointing downward or upward, a triangle, or a heart; topiaries for the personal garden, perhaps.

Close to 20 minutes later, I was completely hair free, front side and even back. And as promised, the bee-sting pain that accompanied every speedy stripping was just a bearable throbbing — Strip’s Strawberry Wax’s chamomile-aloe vera tandem didn’t put anyone to shame.

Soon as I walked out, the receptionist barraged me with a spiel highlighting waxing do’s and don’ts. No hot baths. No swimming or sunbathing. No tight clothing. No scrubbing or touching. I was supposed to exfoliate a couple of days after waxing to prevent ingrown hair. Then she said that Strip had a post-waxing kit specially for Brazilian virgins, a Lego-shaped box that contained five different sample-size products meant for everything, from a cream that prevented ingrown hair to another cream that soothed the skin some more to a body scrub for exfoliating.

The whole time she was doing her monologue, I was wondering how much different it would be next time — without the hangover.

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Strip is located at Serendra, Bonifacio Global City and Greenbelt 5, Ayala Center. Lay Bare is located at the Podium, Ortigas Center; Alabang Town Center; Market! Market!