In praise of older women

The older woman is as mysterious as she is beautiful. One can’t be without the other. Her mystery and beauty do not come off as a struggle or in the middle of a process; it is already there.

You would hope it would be something like The Graduate. You imagine yourself to be Ben Braddock, the everyman preppy played by Dustin Hoffman. You cross your fingers, hoping a Mrs. Robinson will call you at the most ungodly hour and invite you to her home for a night you’ll never forget. You want nothing more than an older woman to tear you apart and reveal the man you always wanted to be. That is, after all, the fantasy. What follows though is not my own version of the classic film (sorry), but the one thing I do have in common with the titular graduate is that our lives changed when we started hanging out with older women.

I have not known a lot of older women who don’t have “Tita” or “Ate” prefixed to their names. The few I do know I’d argue are the cream of the crop. Perhaps the important word is “women.” These women I’ve been fortunate enough to know are not the high school prom queens or girls-next-doors of my youth. They are not the damsels in distress hoping to be carried away by knights in shining armor. These are wonder women who’ve come down to save us from the mundane. These are the women I’ve always wanted to meet: liberated from teen dramas and daddy issues and open to whatever life hands them. They’ve brought me into their world and I never want to leave.

My most recent relationship was with an older woman. It lasted just six months and we didn’t even call it an actual relationship; but regardless, it was much better than the ones I had before. In the last few years, the women I’ve become friends with are all older than me, some just a few months ahead, others several years. I don’t know if this is the latest Millennial trend or if I’m just really lucky to have gotten to know these women. I’ve come to notice older women are more interesting than the young ones. For one thing, older women aren’t shy about cursing. They say “f**k” like they mean it and would never be caught dead saying “fudge” or “gosh.” Also, the problems of the girls in my generation seem to be extensions of their high school and college problems. It gets tiring. Whereas the issues facing older women have a certain weight that’s attractive to impressionable and insecure 20-somethings like myself. 

I have had the privilege to be in good company with women who have come before me. Their goals are more concrete even if the roads that lead them there haven’t been made yet. Older women aren’t afraid of the future. They welcome the challenges and they don’t allow it to consume them. Their strength lies in their experience.

Compared to younger girls who look to clubs or the beaches for fun, older women bring the fun. No matter where you both are, at that moment, you know it’s exactly where you want to be. I remember two years ago I’d hang with a woman seven years older than me and we’d do nothing but talk until the wee hours. The conversations were nothing special and I can’t even recall 90 percent of it but there’s something to be said about getting to know a person when everyone else is asleep. I had more fun doing nothing with her there than any night I spent in Aracama.

The older woman is as mysterious as she is beautiful. One can’t be without the other. Her mystery and beauty do not come off as a struggle or in the middle of a process; it is already there, molded by her years and wisdom. She is mature but not old. Fire still runs through her veins but not the kind that burns out quickly or too brightly. She is a welcoming warmth who only gets hotter as you get closer to her. The older woman is the pinnacle of what a man wants/needs in life. To pursue an older woman’s heart is a journey as rich as the prize itself. But there is so much more to an older woman; sometimes the heart is just a bonus.

 There’s a confidence to an older woman, something a girl-next-door or high school sweetheart doesn’t have. They teach you to be better in the best way possible (a.k.a. the bad way). Yes, there is a danger when being with an older woman. A challenge no man can ever really prepare for but it’s a challenge most would die for. Think of Almost Famous, The Graduate, or In the Land of Women. The moment an older woman comes into your life, everything becomes 10 times more interesting. And even after she’s gone, she always leaves you better than before you met her.

The challenge with older women is time. For the older woman, you are not her peer. Age and time are working against you becoming closer. That’s why you revel in the similarities you do have. Whether it’s your line of work or taste in music, every bond created is rare and addictive. You always want more. You start to share secrets with these older women just to create a relationship that was never meant to be. With as little time as you do have, you try and make the most of it. 

Older women bring out confidence in you that young women don’t. It’s a confidence unknown to most guys right before they have a beer with an older woman. You grow up instantly. You have to because older women will not wait for you to do so. They don’t have time for all the needless small talk and would much rather prefer to get to the meat of things. You find out things you could have never known in high school or college: the best girls aren’t the high school prom queens or the girls-next-door — in fact they could be the most boring of their kind. You find out women who’ve moved passed the drama are those that are worth knowing, and for the young man, there is no better way to grow up than to be amongst older women.