What does your prom dress say about you?

Ladies, here is the only piece of prom advice I can impart with full confidence: there are so many ways to make or break your dress but only one way to know if you’ve done good and right, and that is to try.

I confess: when it comes to the subject of prom, I can’t help but delve into mine first (#Millennial). We had a cheesy theme — Greatest Story Ever Told — and I had no date. I was asked, though, at the very last minute, but said no because I wanted to assert my independence. Not really. I said no because I was lucky number four in this guy’s prom roster and I’d rather go stag than be his last-ish resort.

Prom was real fun, though, and I’m not saying that because girls who went stag always say it. I don’t mean that going date-less is better, I just mean that prom was fun in a way that, in the absence of a permanent slow dance partner, the upbeat songs are where you really, really danced. It was my first go at wearing heels at a sustained pace, hopping and shaking and woo-girling to the DJ who sampled Fergie, Sean Kingston, and R. Kelly (I’m A Flirt transcends!). Fun, as in at the end of the night, I had to remove my red ankle-straps. Date or no date, any girl of prime age to go to prom knows that this is literally her time to shine — and the dress is everything.

I remember how, in a time pre-iMessage, most of my friends obsessed over theirs by printing out pegs from the red carpet (Reese Witherspoon was having a moment that year) while I sourced for mine at style.com. I was hell-bent on a replica of a Versace spring-summer ‘06 lavender chiffon dress. In hindsight: obviously not me. But prom is a girl-in-transition’s dress-up playground: whatever works that night will stay with you in the years to follow, and what doesn’t will obliterate out of your wardrobe forever. I ended up in an ivory taffeta dress that grazed just above my calves. Seven years later, I’m proud that I put my foot down when it came to the color, even when the consensus was that it was too bridal. And I still regret that I let my mom talk me into a little embellishment (it was hardly there, but it was really there to me) and out of a sweetheart neckline because she thought it aged me. I tell you. At 16/17, dress prep can feel like a “me versus the world” situation.

Ladies, here is the only piece of prom advice I can impart with full confidence: there are so many ways to make or break your dress — cut, color, material, length, etc. — but only one way to know if you’ve done good and right, and that is to try. Prom is trust your gut time. Though it’s unlikely that this will be your standard for formal wear, it does speak of your early influences and style. Say you’ve narrowed down your options — here are the five ways you send the message.

The ball gown

Congratulations, you’re a princess! Well, you are at least vying for some sort of crown. Ball gown-wearers are keen on being seen, being the scene. Not only do these babies weigh like they need another car seat, they also take up enough textile to make another full-length dress. That’s how serious these gowns are. Ball gowns also have the tendency to outwear its wearer, so any girl who can pull this off really deserves a tiara.

The mermaid gown

Ah, the mermaid gown. Or as I like to call it, the preamble to bodycon. This specific cut flares down at the hem but contours the rest of the body, meaning you are able to comply with Catholic school dress codes while showing off those curves. The mermaid dress, a popular bridal silhouette, can be worn by girls whose figures already started to peak (ugh, we hate you). You’re not a girl, not yet a woman — but you sure already have her body. It isn’t for everyone, and therefore a bit alienating. You’re probably after a crown, too, aren’t you?

The A-line dress

The A-line is one of the most universally flattering shapes in prom universe. You can wear it, I can wear it, the chaperone teacher can also probably wear it. Because it’s so obvious, many avoid it when the season looms, and the girls who turn up sporting this silhouette are the ones who end up being the outliers. Bonus points if the dress is cut just above the knee, because you’re already aware of a cardinal rule when it comes to dress-up events: it’s not about the length, but about the breadth. The secondary rule applies to those who care too much about their Instagram — and at this point, who doesn’t? — this shape is about 90 percent angle-proof. If you have that in you, you’re set for life!

The straight line dress

The rarest of them all, those who prefer to wear this style require a certain demeanor to pull it off. Also known as the Calvin Klein school of dressing, the straight line is characteristically shapeless and pared down, and not for you if you want to be the night’s best dressed. It’s a more evolved approach to formal dressing, a big risk on your part. You’re brave and quite unconventional. But chic, chic, chic.

The halter neck

 Girl, you listen to too much Justin Timberlake. The sexy back, for you non-fans there, is also a way to sidestep the dress code. Because a deep-V is just not in the cards for you yet, a slight opening at the back is a way for you to undergo the initial stages of becoming a hubadera. A modest dip rather than a raunchy dive. Baby steps, little one. Baby steps.