The anti-rom-com film fest

If you’re the type of person who loves to keep misery company and hopes that a typhoon touches ground on Feb. 14, then we’re pretty sure you hate romantic comedies. Whether you’ve had your heart broken too many times or you just find the sadness of other people amusing, here are three movies we guarantee will snap your heartstrings. Warning: do not watch these three movies all in one day, especially if you are really, really depressed.

Celeste and Jesse forever

Easily the least depressing of the three movies on this list, Celeste and Jesse Forever still serves a punch to the gut. It’s a movie about the relationship after the breakup. Celeste (Rashida Jones) and Jesse (Andy Samberg) play a couple married for several years who recently got divorced but have remained close friends, so much so that Jesse hasn’t even completely moved out of their house — he lives in his studio in their backyard. Rashida Jones plays Celeste so well and stretches her acting to great lengths not seen in most of her roles, as does Andy Samberg with Jesse, making the character seem more relatable compared to the two-dimensional ones he plays in comedies. The two actors are what make the movie stay afloat and carry the story all the way to the end. By both being likeable, there are no real heroes and villains in this story, like any true relationship, each character is both the hero and the villain of their story. There are scenes wherein we hate Celeste and there are ones wherein we hate Jesse, but the story allows for both people to go through the necessary ups and downs of accepting the breakup. The movie is deeply personal to Jones (she also co-wrote the film) which makes it that much tighter and succeeds in giving a realistic Hollywood take on the epilogue of a relationship.

Nobody walks

Lena Dunham. Got your attention? Everybody’s favorite actor/writer/director/show-creator co-wrote this film starring the always-likable John Krasinski and the criminally underrated Olivia Thirlby as two people caught in an affair. Thirlby plays Martine, a young artist who stays with a Los Angeles couple to finish her film for her art show. Martine is arguably the best example of a hipster femme fatale. Think Zooey Deschanel’s Summer (from 500 Days of Summer), the kind of girl who loves what she’s doing even though she pretends she doesn’t know what she’s doing, but a lot more ruthless­ and with much shorter hair. Peter, played by Krasinski, is a sound engineer who helps Martine with her film, aside from deeply falling for her. They eventually have an affair but it seems it’s only Peter who wants to continue it. What follows is a man lost, climbing  his way back to fixing his marriage with his wife, Julie (Rosemarie Dewitt), and Martine seemingly not regretting her actions at all. While Olivia’s Martine could be seen as nothing more than a short random scream of the quiet suburban life of Peter and Julie, her portrayal of Martine’s indifference and refusal to accept any consequence is haunting. Nobody Walks is a terrific film by director Ry Russo-Young about how a short act of lust can ruin a family at its core. It’s a film that refuses to simply go away.

Take this waltz

Michelle Williams and Seth Rogen headline this movie that we can only describe as the most beautiful portrayal of a drowning relationship. Much like Nobody Walks, this Sarah Polley-directed film also features infidelity but brilliantly focuses on the struggle of its in-betweens. Williams and Rogen play a couple breaking apart in the nothingness that has taken hold of their relationship. Michelle Williams plays Margot, a freelance journalist who is suffering from a comfortable marriage. It’s the kind of marriage that dies not by fights and screams but by being stuck and still. The story only begins moving forward when Margot meets Daniel (played by Luke Kirby) a young artist who just happens to move in next door. Flirting ensues and the movie separates itself from being cheap by letting the relationship of Margot and Daniel breathe itself into a life of its own. Polley, who also wrote the original screenplay, allows the audience to feel bad for Seth Rogen’s character, Lou, but makes the audience accept that Margot and Daniel need to happen. It’s the elements like Lou preparing chicken several ways (the most common food, however you cook it, is still the most common food) and Daniel who earns a living by bringing people to their destinations via rickshaw (he is literally moving Margot forward) stresses the differences and the depth of Margot’s choice. Unlike Nobody Walks, the affair is not just motivated by the loins but a lust that is more than sexual. Take This Waltz depicts perfectly the life of a relationship just waiting to die and the peace that comes after.