Sowing the seeds of love, Senate-style

It’s Senator Chiz Escudero who sets the premise of this article. Really.

Way back in July of last year, he jokingly pronounced that politics, unlike love, did not have to adhere to just one partner (“Ang pulitika ay hindi naman parang pag-ibig na kailangan isa lang”). This, in response to the question of whether he would choose the United Nationalist Alliance or the Liberal Party, both of whom were courting him to join their respective coalitions for the upcoming senatorial race. His answer is a perfect combination of noncommittal, witty and evasive — qualities that assure us that he is, indeed, a senator of the Republic of the Philippines.

In any case, he does have a point. And seeing as the politics of love (or is it our love of politics?) remains a matter of interest for the general public, well, compiled here for your perusal is a list of the great loveteams that grace our Senate today.

There’s plenty of love to go around in the hallowed halls of Congress, after all.

1. Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile and Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago

This is practically a no-brainer. On the one hand, you have the indomitable Santiago, with her flair for the dramatic and self-styled crusade against corruption; on the other, you have the man who surreptitiously sustained martial law… and got away with it. Together, they are the sharpest legal minds of the country, the two most daunting figures in Senate, and the most bankable political icons in popular imagination today (e.g., Enrile is now a best-selling author, while Santiago’s infamous one-liners have taken social media world by storm).

They’re also two of the most controversial politicos, and are currently involved in a war of words over Enrile’s allegedly unequal distribution of Senate funds. Santiago cries foul over the P1.6 million Christmas bonus withheld from her and three other senators; the rest of their constituents scratch their heads over whether MOOEs that large are even morally permissible in the first place.

As of writing, the two have no plans of reconciling their differences. Who knows, though? Maybe a few more pick-up lines from the feisty Senator Santiago could do the trick.

2. Senate Majority Leader Vicente “Tito” Sotto III and Senator Pia Cayetano

Sotto and Cayetano lock horns on a lot of things, like what it means to be a good parent, what the provision on “safe and satisfying sex” is really supposed to mean, and what the implications of enacting the controversial RH bill into law would be. Cayetano is a principal sponsor of the bill, while Sotto is one of its staunchest opponents. Their last tiff was over the postponement of the RH bicameral conference last December, which Sotto wanted delayed on the charge of railroading (i.e., he felt things were moving too fast), and which Cayetano wanted over and done with, because, well, the bill has been pending for 13 years and five congresses.

Of course, by now we all know that the RH bill has been signed into law. As for the two senators, there was once a time when their feuding over the RH bill revealed two points of similarity. One is the fact that they both went through the pain of losing a child. The other? The fact that they both faced the ire of netizens calling them out on plagiarism.

3. Senators Antonio Trillanes IV and Aquilino “Koko” Pimentel III

Now that the Commission on Audit’s report is out, the biggest spender award of 2011 goes to Trillanes. He spent a total of P54.96 million in 2011, and incurred the highest expenses on salaries and benefits of staff members, roughly P16.7 million. In his defense, Trillanes says his large staff — around 40 employees strong — is the reason for his equally large spending.

Trillanes claims that the COA’s findings are contestable, as it fails to include the expenses of the oversight committees. He goes on to note that if those unaccounted for expenses were included, he’d be right at the bottom of the list with Pimentel, 2011’s thriftiest senator. Trillanes asserts he only has one oversight committee, after all.

But so do Senators Pia and Alan Cayetano.

Well, aside from wearing the tightest belt in the Senate and pushing for the revised budgeting of oversight committees to save taxpayer’s some money, Pimentel holds a bachelor’s degree in mathematics. He can probably show Trillanes a thing or two about counting his expenses.

4. Senators Ramon Bong Revilla, Jr. and Jose “Jinggoy” Estrada

Their partnership is the stuff of drawn-out cop shows, tennis doubles, and wrestling tag teams. That is, where Revilla and Estrada are concerned, they’re partners in everything.

In the 2010 pre-election survey conducted by Pulse Asia, Revilla and Estrada ranked first and second in the polls, respectively. For 2016, both are predicted to join the race for the second highest post in the land. Both are action stars who moonlight as politicians, friends turned enemies (at least for a while), and the epitome of popularity sans any specific platform. Both are also bent on establishing their own showbiz and political dynasties. Revilla has his wife Congresswoman Lani Mercado running for reelection, while his son Jolo is being groomed for mayor of Cavite. Analogously, Estrada’s dad, former President Erap, is running for mayor in Manila, while half-brother JV Ejercito is in this year’s senate race. In addition, Estrada’s daughter Janella is being groomed to run as a councilor in San Juan, while her mother Presentacion Vitug is reportedly biding her time before she runs for mayor in the same city.

Imagine. Half of NCR run by the scions of Panday and, er, Ruben.

The only question is, will their loveteam stand the test of the 2016 VP elections?

5. Senators Loren Legarda and Edgardo Angara

Adele’s hit song Rumor Has It sums up this particular pairing quite nicely, if you ask me.

Because if you think about it, what’s love got to do with it, anyway?

* * *

Credit goes to Jonty Cruz for the love-ly idea.