Happy New Year! Spider-Man is dead

You read that right. The Amazing Spider-Man, Peter Parker, is dead. In the last issue of the title, writer Dan Slott ends Issue 700 with the death of the original wall-crawler and the birth of a brand new Spider-Man. To quote the words of the almighty Liz Lemon, “NERD RAGE!”

To be clear, it wasn’t the killing of Peter Parker we’re mad about. Peter Parker already died a couple of years ago in another comic (and in another universe altogether) and it was handled the best way possible in the hands of writer Brian Michael Bendis. Peter Parker died a heroic death by taking a bullet for Captain America, and protecting the people he loved the most. It was a great end to a great character. Fast forward a couple years and with this new take on the death of the Spider-Man, we can’t help but think that this new writer read the previous “Death of Spider-Man” and thought to himself, “I can do my own version of this and it’s going to be amazeballs.” What is “amazeballs” to one is poor storytelling to another.

This new writer in question is Dan Slott. Marvel said that they were going to shake things up with its flagship character. So much so that they were ending its longest running title in exchange for an all-new, all-fresh The Superior Spider-Man, and they chose Dan Slott to do the shaking. And Slott chose to do so by killing Peter Parker, one of comic’s most beloved characters, and made Doctor Octopus into the new and “superior” Spider-Man. It’s a bit complicated to recap but basically Doc Ock found a way to swap minds with Peter Parker since the former’s body was dying. Peter Parker wakes up in the body of a dying Doctor Octopus and makes a last ditch effort to get his body back. Peter Parker died in the body of Doctor Octopus but was able to transfer all his memories and life’s work to him. Doc Ock then sees the beauty of Parker’s life, feels all the tragedy Peter endured and all the love he had. In the end, Otto Octavius swore to continue Peter Parker’s legacy by being Spider-Man. Trust us, it was as bad as it sounds. For one thing, the writer exerts every effort to make the reader believe that this villain has turned good but not good enough to save the dying man right in front of him. Excuse us while our spider-sense rolls its eyes.

We’ve been life-long Spider-Man fans and while we respect that changes need to happen for stories to grow, how it changes is just as important as the change itself. This was just an insult to not only fans of Peter Parker but comics as a whole. It’s worse than the chaotically planned Clone Saga and the horribly written One More Day combined. Bendis already did the “Death of Ultimate Spider-Man” beautifully and we really didn’t need another Peter Parker death. Granted that Amazing Spider-Man sales are down, but why still kill the world’s greatest superhero, and do so in a poorly constructed story, with awful pacing, and rushed ending?

This was the 700th issue of arguably the most beloved superhero and his story deserved to be written not as just another part of the ongoing super-heroics, but as a perfect encore to its rich legacy. Kill Peter Parker all you want, but do so in a way that serves the betterment of the story and not as a cheap gimmick. And if it desperately needs to be a gimmick, get someone to write it so well that it doesn’t feel like a gimmick.

Doctor Octopus didn’t kill Spider-Man. Horrible writing did.

Happy New Year, true believers!