Election dysfunction: The good, the bad, the ugly
With our nation’s elections just months away, and streets being filled up by poorly designed posters with even poorer catchphrases, we look to the recent US elections for whatever lesson we can find. Yes, 2012’s US elections have come and gone but not without leaving us some true highlights and a lot of really, really depressing moments.
The Good: Jon Stewart
No one does the news quite like Jon Stewart, and he’s never better than during election season. The host of The Daily Show and the leader of a new generation of avid news followers, Stewart has exceeded his past successes with his coverage of this year’s US Presidential elections, and his ballsy and fearless revelation of “Bullsh*t Mountain” — what he calls the collection of pundits and politicians who spew nothing but lies and false accusations. For a fake news program comprised of semi-famous comedians, Stewart and the rest of The Daily Show actually gave more credible insight into the election than most major news networks. While he does bend to the left (and rightfully so), he calls mistakes where he sees them, and condemns the people who make those mistakes. Once, he did so by splicing footage from shows like Hannity (Fox News) and offering a completely opposing argument from the same show, revealing the bullsh*t these shows offer their viewers. Stewart has taken on the daunting task of actually educating the public by separating the real issues from all the pollution. It doesn’t hurt that he does so with the sharpest and wittiest political jokes on TV.
The Bad: Mitt Romney
There hasn’t been a sillier and scarier candidate than Mitt Romney. For all the “binders full of women” and “47%” jokes, Romney was a real threat to Obama, all while showing as much backbone as a protozoan. The man flips and flops more than a pair of Islanders. His race to become the Republican Party’s bet revealed how many people didn’t want him there, with seemingly random candidates leading Romney every other week in the polls. Yet, all those other candidates eventually failed because they couldn’t better what Romney had perfected: bending. Romney opposed universal healthcare (something he implemented during his term as governor of Massachusetts) just because it was Obama’s directive. He attacked Obama and the President’s foreign policy one week, only to agree with him on live television the next. He showed that he was willing to do anything to win. It’s unbelievable the amount of times he was caught flip-flopping. Yet Romney persisted. It was his perseverance that got him so close to becoming the next president of the United States. He persisted even without laying out a specific plan to “save” America. He persisted when spraying himself orange just to attract Latin American voters to his side. And all of those things are what scared us. He was willing to do anything to become president and Romney showed that it is damn near possible to do so. He showed the perfect method to steal the highest office in the world without a single ounce of conviction. And a US president without conviction is the most dangerous man in the world.
The Completely and Disturbingly Ugly: Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock
Even in a world as advanced as ours, there are still people who think we live in some version of Game of Thrones when it comes to women’s rights. In this year’s American elections, the standouts of shame are definitely Missouri candidate Todd Akin and Indiana candidate Richard Mourdock who offered their “understanding” of rape. Todd Akin, a Republican candidate for senator, argued against birth control for women, arguing that, in the event of what he calls a “legitimate rape,” the female’s reproductive organs have “ways” to prevent impregnation, or in his own words, “the female body has ways to shut that whole thing down.” We don’t know what’s worse: Akin’s misunderstanding of rape or the fact that he can’t even say the word “vagina” as he insults it. If you prefer a religious bent to your “old men and rape,” when asked about his thoughts on an unwanted pregnancy in the event of rape, senate-hopeful (and Mitt Romney supporter) Richard Mourdock said “that’s something God intended.” Like with Akin, we don’t know what’s worse: Mourdock’s bizarre definition of rape or the fact that he thinks there’s a Christian God who considers rape the best unexpected gift ever. Maybe this is why Tina Fey decried that women’s rights are now being decided by “gray men with two-dollar haircuts.” The fact that idiots like Akin and Mourdock were supported by Mitt Romney and the Republican Party proves the end of the world may be nearer than we thought. It’s in recalling moments like these that we can’t thank God enough that Obama won and our faith in America was restored.
