How a grown man survived the Candy Fair

Mukha kang tourist,” my brother’s girlfriend told me, “Sa Hawaii.”

It was the very line that described my getup last Saturday, as I entered the sixth Candy Fair in my floral polo and Fox cap with a camera strapped around my neck. It was an even fuller metaphor for my persona that rainy afternoon as I was indeed an outsider, a pa-cutie amid the magazine’s Candy Cuties.

And yet there I was inside the Megatent Event Venue in Libis, attending for my girlfriend, whose event I only wanted to support. I was calm, freshly shaven, and ready for the pre-teen stampede and my own secret spite that hey, why wasn’t I on this list of cuties (a joke I always felt I had to awkwardly repeat in front of everyone I small-talked).

But everything soon came to a screeching halt when the master showman himself, Kuya Germs, showed up backstage. Well, actually, his silhouette first, and then his side, and then slowly, to my raw awe, his true, actual self in a blue shirt and tie. Wow.

Wala na talagang tulugan now that Kuya G was by my side. As he agreed to have his photo taken with me, I quietly began to wonder what in Libis could Mr. German Moreno be doing in a teen fair chilling by the rails. I wondered in silence ‘til somebody told me that he might’ve been there for a certain talent.

Master broman: Kuya Germs and the author Ralph Mendoza at the Candy Fair 2012 last Saturday

But before I could speculate further, 40 or so cuties began their respective walks to a shrieking crowd of girls (and two to three flailing gay guys). Some of the cuties settled for the wink ‘n’ wave, while others went for the imaginary heart-throwing. One cutie even opted for the ab flash, which was sadly faster than any camera’s shutter could capture. Wryan Chua’s crowd was pretty loud. But no claps were louder than those of Jay Jackson’s and L.A. Aguinaldo’s fans. Half-sadly, there were those models who nobody really shrieked for. What if they had the brains to make up for whatever girls didn’t find cute? Come on, yo. Give them a chance? (I’m not sure where I’m going with this.)

Slowly I found myself enjoying something I otherwise would’ve thought was too ‘90s born-friendly. The energy was pretty contagious and I found myself humming One Direction. Their songs were performed live by wavy-haired teen duo The Brewer Boys (finalists of X Factor USA; please don’t say “so what?”), sung and danced by two different sets of cuties, and shouted by the entire crowd. One Direction was a hit and I couldn’t get their songs out, out, out of my head. I sang along at some point as a joke but deep inside I knew I respected its catchiness.

Speaking of catchy, smooth bro Elmo Magalona took the stage as he sang and shuffled his steps to a live set of Chris Brown’s Turn Up The Music. His brother Arkin, the youngest Candy Cutie, also joined in, bringing his Bieber on with a cover of That Should Be Me. It should be them, really, especially with that Oppa Gangnam Style finale, as joined by birthday bro Ivan Dorschner, Alden Richards, and every other Kapuso-throb.

It was all Pinoy pop in its most compelling state, and you could not help but notice the following that they all command with a two-second moonwalk here and there. I guess it’s good to escape that hipster cave once in a while to see what’s out there. I survived the Candy Fair but I really wouldn’t mind going next year as long as Kuya Germs smiles in the next photo.

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Tweet this bro @ralphmendo.