Lake or break: How the Lakers can win next season

Playoff turn-off: The Lakers need to address Pau’s under-aggressiveness and Kobe’s over-aggressiveness. Hopefully, the next season has the answer. Computer graphics by MIGUEL PICZON

“I’m not fading into the shadows... I’m not going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere.” – Kobe Bryant

I hate to add insult to playoff injury, but my Lakers did underachieve this season. Having lost the second round to the younger Thunder, it’s only right for a Lakers fan to fantasize about a better franchise by acquiring formidable free agents and exercising the bro-est team options next season. In short, a Lakers analysis just sounded cooler than crying in bed. So here it is: seven lucky ways the Lakers can return to their winning ways again.

1. Trade the Spaniard.

Pau Gasol has proven his versatility on both ends of anyone’s court. He’s a hardworking center with a post-basket war face that seems to negate all accusations of softness. But this is where the “but” comes in: It might be high time to consider power forward options who can keep up with Kobe. Kobe’s just like Breaking Bad’s Walter White. It takes that special partner to produce that 99 percent crystal, just the same as it takes a special partner to knock down that high percentage alley-hoop in the paint. As of now, Gasol is only half the bro Jesse Pinkman is.

2. Keep some, lose some (players).

The Lakers need to exercise their team option on Andrew Bynum next season to keep him because there really is no better center than him right now. Trading him for Dwight Howard, who wanted Stan Van Gundy fired, can’t be a good idea. Other unrestricted free agents include Jordan Hill, Matt Barnes, and Troy Murphy. I say keep Hill for his obsession with offensive rebounds and put-back dunks, and allow Barnes and Murphy to walk, based on their lackluster playoff performances.

3. Ramon Sessions and Steve Blake need to find a way to play more like it’s the end of the world.

These point guards need to play with more urgency, creating plays for the bigs down low if and when needed. I still believe in these guys but if they don’t deliver, it might be a good idea to look at hmm, Jeremy Lin and what we could offer to pirate him from the Knicks. Maybe ship Blake to New York, along with Devin Ebanks a first round pick? Who knows what can happen?

4. The Lakers need younger prospects to carry out team heroics that don’t involve Kobe.

Kobe’s a hero no matter what happens, but the team needs to stop depending on him every game. And on that note, that back-up shooting guard position needs to be filled up. Get an athletic Shannon Brown-type (I miss you, SB) of kid who can also run the floor, make plays, and drain threes.

5. Consider the Lamar Odom wild card market.

Bieb eyes: Bieber’s bored look encapsulates every Laker fan’s reaction to their bleak playoff run. GETTY IMAGES

Laker fans are divided on Lamar coming back, but I feel like it might bode well for the team to sign L.O. back simply because he’s got tons and tons to prove. The Kardashian hell he’s in right now needs an earth to come up to, and what better team to play the prodigal son in than the Lakers? Besides, The Candy Man? He wasn’t really a good fit down in Dallas, as we’ve seen all year. Signing him back to his comfort bench in LA might be a good decision. If we don’t, we should still go for someone ring-hungry.

6. Mike Brown can’t motivate but don’t hate.

Mike Brown had a hard time motivating his team, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a likeable Mr. Potato Head. He had a pretty good season, despite the season-shortening NBA lockout, which gave the new coach no time for training camp. A second chance at coaching the Lakers should be in Brown’s future, despite rumors of him being replaced by the newly fired Stan Van Gundy. Besides, coach consistency can be beneficial in the long haul.

7. Keep Metta World Peace…for fun.

Only a few things are cooler than a player who kisses his biceps after a dunk and calls “accidentally double-clotheslining two players” defense. On a more serious note, he’s effective. He can play D and O without even trying.

Let’s just hope the Lakers front office wrestles well with NBA commissioner David Stern this year around. I got faith in my Lake show.