Kids these days, they wanna grow up so fast

MANILA, Philippines - Here’s what you need to know about me, and maybe about people who belong in the same demographic:

Fact 1: People my age, we want everything. The Internet has been an unnerving tool of empowerment, which is actually great — it’s a platform where opportunities and dreams thrive.

Fact 2: People my age, we want everything — fast. There are a lot of sociological, psychological, and even anthropological aspects that helped cultivate this culture, but I’m just going to put it this way: we’ve grown up to tolerate waiting, less and less.

Fact 3: Pauses, In-Betweens, and Lulls scare the sh*t out of us. When I say this I’m talking about the doom that is The Future, and the two words that adults like to pull out of their sleeves when we’re having a hard time, with the intention of either consoling us or adding insult to injury: the Real World.

Honestly, what is the Real World, anyway?

I think I’ve worked enough to clock in some experience — not expertise — but just enough to say that I’m slightly qualified to describe this Real World from my vantage point.

I started as an intern (without much of an intention or ambition) at the end of sophomore year, and it was only a few months ago that I actually started calling it a job. I still see (and call) myself an intern sometimes, and though I rarely talk about it, I’m damn proud of how it all turned out for me. A lot of great things got squeezed in when I turned 19, and how quickly and unexpectedly it happened for me, but if there’s one thing I can say about this Real World, it is this: it changes you. A lot.

This Isn’t A Sob Story

In Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere, you basically see this guy, Johnny Marco, who has essentially everything and has gotten somewhere, but is unequivocally empty. And after that, I thought: “I never want to have to feel that, ever.”

I don’t think I’ll ever know how it is in a corporate setting (or any other setting, for that matter), but the first thing I ever learned was just how small the realm of publishing is here in Manila. If you go to events long enough, you’ll realize that it’s basically the same people, and unfortunately for me, I was thrust into the “industry” with me knowing the people, but the people (naturally) not knowing me.

But like I said, this isn’t a sob story, and I knew what was coming for me because no one else I knew was working. In a strictly logical sense, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Did I like it? Not so much. Of course it would’ve been nice to know even just a couple of people to have awkward exchanges with.

Since that wasn’t the case though, I just sucked it up.

The only time I am ever embarrassed to say my age is when I’m at work. Phrases like “You’re just 19?”; “You’re still in college?”; and “Oh my god, I’m so old!” get thrown around a lot. I’m not ashamed because I’m young, but it makes me uncomfortable that I make those people who say any of the phrases mentioned above say them in the first place. Because really, they aren’t old. I’m just… young.

To be honest though, it’s never been a kind of disadvantageous issue. I’ve never felt that anyone treated me any differently or even condescendingly because of my age, and that’s something I’ve always been grateful for. But I can’t help but imagine a scenario in my head where people my age, whom I’m friends with in college or elsewhere, are at these same events — and we get to catch up on our lives and I cease to become the lone but not-really-lonely intern. That’s always a possibility I look forward to.

There is a bright side to this. Of course there is. And primarily, it is the experience. Not just actual work experience, because if there’s one thing lifestyle journalism can pride itself on, it is well, the lifestyle.

I pretend to not get fazed anymore, but I still get wide-eyed, encountering people I just saw on TV or in magazines (wow, I sounded kind of pathetic there), and the freebies and the parties and the food. And also, the people. I’ve encountered so many creative and talented people that it’s astounding — I guess I’ve always thought that I’d meet them one day, but I didn’t think one day will come so soon.

Part 2: In Which My Actual Point Materializes

I am saying this from a point of view of a person who had to grow up (a bit) quickly to keep up: Don’t get jaded too early.

Because it will happen before you know it, trust me on this — and it took me a while to bounce back from that. It took a blog post from my friend Regine to make me stop and say, “Wait a minute. When did I start thinking like this?” It hasn’t even been a year and I’ve already become so cynical, resentful and horridly judgmental that I want to slap myself. Yes, publishing changes you, but I wasn’t about to let it take over me completely. That just wasn’t a proper mindset for a 20-year-old.

The truth is, when this reality bites, it has the ability to chew your head off if you let it. Being in this setting does require you to possess or acquire a certain attitude, and somewhere between “Who You Are Now” and “Who You Are Still Trying To Be While You Are Being Who You Are Now,” there’s bound to be hefty collateral damage. That I learned the hard way, and pretty late.

They say the world is our oyster, but the Real World easily dissolves that fantasy. You can’t have everything — but here’s the thing: that’s really okay.

I got some wisdom from Mila Kunis too. In one of her recent interviews, she said this about acting: “What else could I do that would make me happy? What else could I do where I wake up in the morning and think, I get to go to work and do something great and have fun? I couldn’t think of anything else. So I was like, ‘I’m stuck doing this because I actually, truly, love it.’”

Mila Kunis, my unlikely sage of wisdom: “I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done. Even the dumbest sh*t I’ve done in my life–and believe me, I’ve done some really dumb sh*t–I don’t regret doing it.” Photo from Nylon

And also, this: “I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done. Even the dumbest sh*t I’ve done in my life — and believe me, I’ve done some really dumb sh*t — I don’t regret doing it. I’m not talking about projects, but just the stupid things that a kid does, that a teenager does, that a person in their twenties does. I did everything. I was never a bad kid, but I did things that weren’t necessarily good, or smart decisions. But I did learn from them.”

We’ve come to equate those “void” spaces with failure (see Fact 3), and how can we not? We grew up seeing shows and movies where Finding Yourself — while a recurring and successful pop culture theme — wasn’t really interpreted in such a peachy light. That teen who just wanted a little more time was frowned upon by overbearing parents, and success was measured in large, corner offices and mansions and lavish things. It’s utterly aspirational.

But how about before we want everything, when we want nothing in particular first? Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere was just really the icing on the epiphany cake. You basically see this guy, Johnny Marco, who has essentially everything and has gotten somewhere, but is unequivocally empty. And after that I thought: “I never want to have to feel that, ever.”

I know it’s just so convenient for me to say that you should take your time because I’m in a stable place, but give me the benefit of the doubt on this one. Do some dumb sh*t from time to time, and make wrong judgment calls, because you’ll never be as free as you are now. It’s a scary, pivotal point in our lives, but dream and hang in there inconclusively a little longer. These times demand us to make something out of ourselves in haste, and so, slowing down — it can be your last act of adolescent defiance.

Choose to make yourself feel alive. Even if that means you go overboard, even if it means you’ll spend too much (I’m a firm believer in investing in experiences, because you can’t take money to your grave). And soon, something will come into focus from obscurity, and you’ll decide to do something that’ll make you pull a Mila Kunis — on both quote counts.

Life is short, but it doesn’t always mean you’re running out of time.