'Cause breaking up is hard to chew:The break-up cure: A recipe for the brokenhearted

No matter how the delusional optimists of this world may be, the cold, hard truth is that there is no easy way to end a serious relationship. Sure, idealists fantasize about parting ways amicably after mind-blowing breakup sex. While it’s all good for them to picture a post-break up future of hugging in public when they run into one another and occasionally meeting up for platonic coffee dates, reality is gearing up to bitch slap the rainbows and unicorns out of their heads when D-day rolls around. Truth time? Love stinks; most especially when it’s over.

We’ve all been privy to the ugly side of breaking up. Some of us as voyeurs, others as participants. She is the girl sobbing violently into a Cosmo and clamped onto the karaoke mic, refusing to let go until she’s sung All By Myself for the 12th time in a row. He is the dude using heartbreak to pay homage to Howard Hughes, hiding out in his apartment until his facial hair grows to biblical lengths.

My last relationship ended terribly. A blond-haired, blue-eyed stone fox held my heart hostage for two years and left me an emotional schizophrenic with severe impulse control issues. I was so wrecked I felt the pain of that breakup permeate every aspect of my life. I talked to my friends about him until they were just about ready to kill me. I talked to a counselor about him until she sent me to a shrink who could prescribe me meds. I had nightmares about him. Worst of all (and this pissed me off the most), he would show up in the column I was writing.

I was a mess. The love of my life totally peaced out, leaving me with a crapload of emotions I just didn’t want to deal with. Naturally, my first instinct as a veteran bad girl was to escape. The getaway vehicle? Self-indulgence. I locked myself in my apartment to curl up with a bottle of cheap shiraz and cry along to Lauryn Hill’s X-Factor. I took my MasterCard for a stroll, acting as if I was hemorrhaging money and swiping it for items I would never use in my life. I hit on half the male population of Los Angeles under 30, desperate for some sort of validation like a sorority girl on spring break in Cancun. In the end, none of it made me feel any better. The feelings I tried so desperately to numb myself to ended up giving me an earth-shattering Shoryuken to the heart.

I resolved to turn to the one productive thing I could always count on: cooking. Instead of allowing myself to become the world’s worst cliché, I decided to work on a positive pick-me-up. In college, my roommate once talked me through a bad breakup over grilled cheese sandwiches she made herself. She said her dad would make her those every time she needed cheering up. I decided to do my own take on this and eventually perfected a meal I call “The Break-Up Cure,” which is spicy roasted tomato and bell pepper soup with a croque monsieur sandwich. It is my decadent version of the ultimate comfort food, made extra spicy because if you’re going to ugly cry while you eat it, you might as well be a sweaty Betty, too. I prefer to eat this on my own for a week-long period (because I am not an attractive person when I eat while heartbroken). However, I strongly recommend sharing this dish with friends, because there’s nothing more comforting than eating good, home-cooked food with your favorite shoulders to cry (and sweat) on.

The Break-Up Cure

For the soup:

8 plum tomatoes, halved

3 red bell peppers, quartered (remove seeds and veins)

6 garlic cloves, minced

2 white onions, diced

1 can low-salt chicken broth

1 can diced tomatoes

1 cup chopped fresh basil

1 tbsp. thyme

2 1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes (If you want to tone down the spice, just use 1 teaspoon)

Cayenne pepper

Olive oil

Fresh ground black pepper

Salt

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Drizzle 1/2 cup of olive oil on the fresh plum tomatoes and bell peppers in a bowl. Add salt and pepper and toss. Place the tomatoes and bell peppers in baking dishes and roast in the oven for 45 minutes.

In a large pot, sauté the garlic, onions and red pepper flakes in olive oil on medium to high heat until the onions are translucent. Add the chicken stock, canned tomatoes, basil and thyme. Add the roasted tomatoes and bell peppers, including the juices in the baking dishes. Once the soup comes to a boil, turn down the heat and simmer uncovered for 40 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste and a dash of cayenne pepper. While the soup is simmering, bright orange, bubbly sediments will rise to the top. Scoop these out with a small spoon and throw them away; it will keep the soup fresh for longer. Once the soup has thickened, turn off the heat and let it cool for 15 minutes. Puree the mixture in a blender (I do this in batches) and serve.

For the sandwiches:

1 pack Black Forest ham

Gruyere cheese, grated

Mayonnaise

Grain mustard

Eggs

Sandwich bread (I prefer to use buttermilk bread, but anything you like will work)

Heavy whipping cream

Cayenne pepper

2 tbsp. butter

Jam (This is optional. I make my own with frozen strawberries, cinnamon and orange juice, but frozen fruit is hard to come by in the Philippines.)

Directions:

Mix mayonnaise and grain mustard together in a bowl according to taste. Spread on one side on sandwich bread. Rip up your ham slices into pieces. This way, you won’t pull out entire slices when you take a bite of your sandwich later. Layer ham on top.

Sprinkle Gruyere liberally over the ham. If you’re using jam, spread it sparingly on the other piece of bread (too much overpowers the other elements of the sandwich).

Top your sandwich off with that other piece of bread and press down to keep everything together.

In a deep dish, whisk together eggs (This depends on how many sandwiches you are making. I use 1 egg for 2 sandwiches.) and heavy whipping cream with a dash of cayenne pepper.

Melt a pat of butter in a frying pan on medium heat. Once it is ready, quickly dip both sides of the sandwich in the eggs and cream mixture and place in the frying pan. Cook on each side for a minute and a half or until the cheese melts and the bread turns golden brown. Serve immediately with the soup.

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Francesca Ayala has spent her entire life breaking rules and following recipes. This one is taken from a cookbook she is writing with her best friend, called The Bad Girl’s Guide to Eating Your Feelings.