10 hastily deliberated nominees for Supreme Court Chief Justice
MANILA, Philippines - 10. AI-AI DE LAS ALAS
Ang Tanging Ina N’yong Lahat proved she could rule with maternal mandate, which she also uses as a judge on Pilipinas Got Talent. Nothing like a strong chin of discernment and mother’s touch.
9. VICE GANDA
Having over a million Facebook fans should tell you that Mareng Vice has pull with the people. The only judge who can’t be ejected from ABS-CBN’s Showtime, Vice’s ability to evaluate the talent of several men thrusting their crotches to Body Dancer means he can deal with a lot of hard cases.
8. VICKI BELO
What should be judged is the cosmetic upkeep of our judges. A power peel, maybe some Smart lipo, will guarantee that virtue is represented as smooth and spotless as it should be.
7. ROBIN PADILLA
His name isn’t Robinhood for nothing. Advocacies for the Muslim peoples (anti-malaria, education, peace) as well as a Trust condom ad in the past are good indications he can grapple with today’s top issues. You can probably trust the gut of a liver lover boy.
6. RAJO LAUREL
When it comes to bad wear, the Michael Kors of Project Runway Philippines doesn’t mind tearing its designer a new one. Oh, but then there’s the case of the copied cobweb dress.
5. BOY ABUNDA
We’re talking about the wiser one on The Buzz, mahiwagang mirror included. Not to mention the fact that he seems to be the only person who understands Kris Aquino.
4. MO TWISTER
Chief Justice — arguably the hottest seat in town right now — should go to someone who likes a good grilling, lie detector tests and all. At least the SC will be more enthralling with Mo’s knack for turning every question mark into an exclamation point.
3. NOYNOY AQUINO
Noynoy — Kris, rather — actually doing something as president might not be likely. But at least all that integrity can be used for something else.
2. THE AUTOMATED POLL MACHINE
Maybe our votes can replace oaths. At least with an inanimate object, you can guarantee objectivity.
1. “KUYA”
Because these days, the Filipino people can only seem to listen to that booming voice within — within the Big Brother house, that is.
