The Carlo J. treatment

Whatever his critics may say about his work, Carlo J. Caparas has had a strong impact on Philippine cinema. Consider the way he can turn one page of dialogue into a full-length feature by running everything in slow motion. Then there is the manner in which he transforms real-life pain and misery — the gory murder of an entire family, the brutal assault on a show business personality — into titillation for the mass market.

But perhaps his greatest contribution to Filipino movies is the way he composes the titles of his films. Unlike Star Cinema, which grafts the titles of pop songs onto their products to aid audience recall, Caparas, with the help of his wife and producer Donna Villa, has developed a unique system of nomenclature.

First there is the direct statement of the subject matter, usually ripped bleeding from the headlines. For instance, The Lipa Massacre refers to an actual crime. Incidentally Caparas has influenced not just the visual arts and cinema but language itself. Before he put it in the titles of many of his movies, the word “massacre” meant “the indiscriminate and brutal slaughter of a large number of people.” In post-Caparasian linguistics a murder with more than one victim is considered a massacre.

The statement of the news item is followed by a liturgical invocation in parentheses. For instance, “Lord, have mercy on us.” This is a direct appeal to the beliefs of the predominantly Catholic audience, and a way of reassuring potential viewers that their virtue will not be compromised. Hence, the story of a murder becomes The Lipa Massacre (Lord, have mercy on us).

What if, instead of using news reports as material, the National Artist were to turn to works of literature? How would he use his extraordinary skills to bring literature to the Pinoy masses? What books might interest the auteur, and what titles would he give these adaptations?

The first candidate should be the novel upon which our nation was built, Noli Me Tangere. Butch noted that Jose Rizal’s masterwork takes its title from the Latin version of the Gospel of John in the New Testament. Since the phrase is already biblical in origin, there is no need for an additional liturgical invocation. Noli me tangere in English is “Touch me not.” Therefore the title of Caparas’s Tagalog adaptation of Noli Me Tangere would be Huwag Mo Akong Hipuin, Huwag!

(By the way, Jose Rizal was never named National Artist, so Carlo J. is one up on him. Proclaiming Rizal a National Artist was once considered unnecessary since he is already the National Hero. However it appears that he was never officially declared National Hero, either, despite what we were taught in Social Studies class in the third grade.)

When it comes to literary blood and gore you can’t beat the ancients. Oedipus Rex, the play by Sophocles, sounds like a perfect vehicle for Caparas — it’s got patricide, incest, suicide, and ends with the title character gouging his own eyes out. Oedipus Rex would become The Thebes Massacre: Pinakasalan Ko Ang Ina Ko (My Eyes! My Eyes!)

I asked the readers of JessicaRulesTheUniverse.com to propose their own Carlo J. adaptations, and they responded with a delightful selection.

Fairy tales are always a rich source of material for film. Goldilocks could become “Dahil Matigas ang Kama’t Malamig ang Lugaw: Ang Poot ni Goldilocks (The Papa, Mama and Baby Bear Slayings).” Nursery rhymes also offer intriguing possibilities, such us “Dadanak ang Pula: The Humpty Dumpty Tragedy (God Save the Egg)!”

Of the contemporary fictionists, the Indian author Vikas Swarup has already established his box-office and awards    credentials. His novel Q&A, though dismissed by Salman Rushdie as tripe, was made into the Oscar-winning hit Slumdog Millionaire directed by Danny Boyle.

Caparas would totally wipe out Danny Boyle with his own adaptation of Swarup: Milyonaryong Taga-barong-barong: The Gameshow Massacre (Wow! Sinong di mawiwili?)

Jessica Hagedorn’s The Dogeaters would become The Pacmom Advisory: Sa Inuman, Dapat May Pulutan (Takbo, Bantay, Takbo!)

Shakespeare is a treasure trove of adaptable material. Just as King Lear was filmed by the great Japanese director Akira Kurosawa as Ran, hordes will still line up for Carlo J. Caparas’s version: Hindi Ko Kinaya! Ang Istorya ni Cordelia (Our Father, How I Hate My Sisters!)

The Merchant of Venice has been filmed a few times, but Kung Mangutang Ka’t Di Magbayad (God, Save My Flesh!) would lure us into the theater.

And who but Carlo J., author of many classic komiks serials, could do justice to Franz Kafka’s story of poor Gregor Samsa, who was inexplicably transformed into a cockroach? Get ready for the Caparas version of Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis”: “Ang Pagbabago ni Gregorio (Huwag mong Tapakan ang Ipis!)”

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