Truth or dare?
DEAR Mai Mai, China and Tingting,
I’m suspicious. Can it be true? The “crush ng bayan” has a crush on me? We are classmates in three classes. He has sent feelers, but I can’t believe them. I can’t say I’m a beautiful girl. Remember in high school when there are cliques? In our school, there was a group that the whole campus looked up to — girls who were beautiful, white-skinned, thin and rich — and I wasn’t in that group. I was way different from them, and was as low key then as I am now. How can he like me? I’m guessing he wants me to help him with his class work. Or could this be a bet or a dare among the boys? — FEARFUL ONE
You obviously have low self-confidence. High school is different from college. I have seen many, many guys and girls bloom in college. Just because you weren’t popular in high school that doesn’t mean you can’t be appreciated in college. This guy must have seen something in you that you didn’t or don’t see. I must confess, I also believe in listening to your sixth sense. If I were you, I might entertain him, but since I’m already suspicious, I would just be more cautious. I believe it’s the only way to really know, unless someone rats him out. But I’m sure you have friends who can “spy” for you. You must know what he’s up to when he’s not with you. Sometimes, his other activities can be a clue. Still, I suggest you don’t let your insecurities distort your decision-making process. — China
Why don’t you give him a chance? Not all “crushes ng bayan” turn out to be jerks. Let him prove himself. As days pass, there will be signs as to whether he is sincere or not. Know the difference between what he says and what he means. But since actions speak volumes, be attentive. If he becomes fresh or aggressive, then stay away from him. Respect for yourself should be your top priority. Be observant, but not obsessed, on proving he’s trouble. There are girls who will obviously be jealous and try to put a cloud over you, so don’t let them be a distraction. Remember, the truth will came out eventually — Mai Mai
It’s hard to resist the “crush ng bayan” even if your gut instinct says he’s bad news. And sometimes curiosity gets the best of us. If you do decide to know him better and vice versa, at least try to be as emotionally detached as possible. Find out what’s making you doubt the guy. Is it him, or is it you and your insecurities? If you prove or there’s a nagging feeling that there’s something fishy, then forget about going any further. Maybe, that “crush ng bayan” is overrated and really not worth your time. However, if you feel you’re wrong about him and that it’s your lack of self-confidence that’s confusing you, then you have a bigger problem. I don’t think you should be in a relationship until you learn to love yourself first. — Tingting
