Screw the thought – what can we afford?

With only a little time left before
Christ-mas, we’re sure there are some of us who still aren’t done with our gift shopping. For those of you who actually care about giving to the ones you truly love, don’t worry; if there’s one thing this column’s got in abundance, it’s sound advice (that’s a pun; you’ll get it later). Instead of giving just any old thing you can get at the mall or tiangge, we humbly suggest you give the gift of music – and no, we don’t mean the M.Y.M.P. Christmas album. (Unless it’s for the idiots that are ubiquitous as Lourd de Veyra’s porcine friends – but they’re sure to have copies already.)

There’s a lot of worthwhile music by legitimate OPM artists that would be perfect as gifts to just about everyone you know who knows their s**t – or can discern a great tune or two. If that seems daunting, we’ve made it easier for you – our beloved readers – by categorizing stuff you can give to certain types in your immediate circle. Anyway, as we said last year, it’s charity as well – these artists need the money. Ho… ho… ho…

For your ’Tweener Niece/Little Sister

Not a girl, not yet a woman? Well, before you give them a bundle of underwear for future use when they’re out partying nights with all manner of flotsam and jetsam for company, we instead ask you to arm them with decent music. If anything, it’ll teach them to leave those hipsters and their darn rackets alone.

For her, we recommend the Anti-Champ himself – Diego Mapa – and the various musical groups that he plays for. Most notable (and consequently obscure) is the stuff he puts out under the moniker Eggboy. News is that he’s about to release an anthology of all the recordings but there’s still the brilliant debut under pioneering indie label Documento Records to pick up. Eggboy is home-cooked goodness of quirky pop that is both good and filling at this time of so much empty noise. Monsterbot – which features Diego on guitar – remains one of the best "rock ‘n’ whatever else you can find" bands in the country. Put simply, the band rocks the way the Beasties rap – like an ill-tempered child throwing a tantrum. It’s really all a wonderful mess! Like a metaphor for what’s going on in her, you know, life.

For the Eccentric relative(Usually a single Uncle)

Just because he’s kinda an embarrassment to the rest of the family and a beatnik (it’s been rumored he gave Igan D’ Bayan his first book by William Burroughs), it doesn’t mean you can’t give him something that will at least give you something to talk about. Top of the list is "S.A.B.A.W." – an electronic/experimental/noise compilation of local artists from the ’80s to the present. With no proper songs at all, we’re sure it’s going to appeal to his "found art" as fashion statement sense. With any luck, he attended Tommy Tanchanco’s Brave New World concert series at Philtrade or was one of those that got pummeled at Katrina’s during hardcore nights, so the prospect of music that has the potential to physically harm him does not faze him. Also, Sound’s second album "Blue Monsoon" is out and is no doubt the perfect getaway music for anyone who just wasn’t made for these times. No longer the chic lounge set-up for this lot – the music on the new album is a much more sophisticated Left Alone Jazz Bar affair. Not sad – aging hipsters are melancholic – and the perfect aphrodisiac to stir up all those loins again.

For the Single Mom — Who’s Still Got It!

Just because she’s popped out one or two doesn’t mean she can’t get down like Britney Spears. Keeping her underwear on, she’ll probably get down to the groove moods of The Chilitees and their excellent debut "Extra Rice" to get some action going. As probably the only wise man (bald, too) in Philippine publishing has declared, "Finally, an authentic Pinoy soul band!" As always, he’s right and we really can’t think of any worthy precedent for this band in the country. (For starters, vocalist Uela Basco is the only R&B/soul singer locally who can ache and sing with emotion without fellating the notes as if she’s faking an orgasm or more likely being anally raped by her own by-product.) Plus, the songs just call for booty-shaking unbecoming of her age.

If the single mom’s into the club scene, I’d whole-heartedly recommend the local electronica compilation "LOCAL//:e!" If anything it’ll demonstrate that yes, you can enjoy the likes of Rubber Inc., Brian Cua, Abdel Aziz and Trip M to name a few without consuming any illegal substance.

For the Raging Pubescent

I used to be him but it’s only now that I actually know him, albeit only slightly better. Although there are quite a few noteworthy "emo" albums available like Plane Divides The Sky’s "The Campaign To Capture" and Manny Pacquiao’s "Para Sa’yo and Laban Na’to!", we’d give this munchkin a copy of the collective A.M.P.O.N.’s independent compilation of the only local hip-hop that seems to make use of the genre’s inherent qualities: music and – most importantly – words. If he’s gonna get down, this makes sure it ain’t at least insipid versions of Kanye West or Beyoncé.

I’d recommend you encourage this aggression with some f**k-all music by bands like Loss of Control but they aren’t finished with their album yet. And they’d probably hunt me down for dropping their name in these pages… oops, too late.

For the Folks

Although these albums have got me into trouble so many times I still think they’re great – and probably the work of genius. I’m talking of nothing else but the string of comedy records released by Tito, Vic & Joey. As always, Joey gets the best lines but the brothers aren’t far behind. They’ve just been re-released on CD at very affordable prices. If that ain’t your parent’s thing, there’s the Apo Hiking Society tribute album – there’s a couple of tracks that can stand alongside the originals.

Still no dice? Then I suggest you pull out all the stops and purchase what could possibly be the most important two recordings this year from two Filipino maestros – Lucio San Pedro’s "Lahing Kayumanggi" and Angel Matias Peña’s "Ugnayan." Conducted by Gerard Salonga and released by Musika Natin, the music is just plain gorgeous – the antidote to the soullessness of the neo bossa of Sitti and the one-note imagination of most "emo." Face it, kids — having a broken heart ain’t good enough if you lack talent. Kick out the jams, man, and bring back the style. >

For your fave (Or most hated)

I’ll admit that, since only people I know really heed my words, I wrote this column for nothing else but to let my kind readers (you know who you are) buy things for me this Christmas. I wholeheartedly urge you to buy many copies of Sugarfree’s new album "Tala-Arawan." But not for me, for yourselves! Yup, the new drummer’s my brother-in-law and I’ve resolved not to embarrass him or make playing with other lesser bands awkward by being associated with me. But it seems that I can’t help myself when songs like Dear Kuya or Pasyal are on there as well as several other tunes. The band’s singer/songwriter Ebe Dancel displays a fine sense of mot juste that makes him – as Quark Henares has pointed out – the most quoted Filipino songwriter in cyberspace. And – to quote another Atenean, Marc Abaya – Dancel has the "voice of an angel." Everything else in the music is arranged to support that instrument of his – and the band does it so well that it’s almost like blackmail if you aren’t moved. So, damn the torpedoes, I’ll endorse it. It certainly is not – as Robbie Sunico’s half-brother Rony would say – "crap!" That indeed is a great compliment.

For the True Greats – Eagles that have Turkeys for (EX) Bosses

Don’t let The Man get ya down. No need for music – just a BIG THANK YOU is enough. Anyway, being the best has its own rewards. (Like Sirius Black, you’ve escaped from the same-ish prison.) "Fate loves the fearless," said someone they never heard of.