When will the rumors stop?
April 28, 2006 | 12:00am
Dear China, Mai-Mai And Tingting,
I’m in my mid-20s and I’d like to share my dilemma concerning my career and personal life. I can’t handle the intrigues in the call-center environment and I always end up resigning or staying only for a few months. In the first call center I worked for, I didn’t feel respected and was very much harassed especially when the higher-ups made me feel unproductive and dumb. When they did that, I got depressed and didn’t report the next day, so eventually, I got suspended because of my attendance record and I resigned. I did this with a heavy heart because I fell in love with someone in that office. I think he likes me too except that there were some nasty rumors going around about me and an older man, and me with other guys, so he hesitated. This was heartbreaking for me, but I let him go, hoping I’d fall in love again. I found work in another call center and performance-wise, I was better and I gained the confidence of my superiors. I thought I would leave those rumors behind, but it followed me in this new office and I could feel people talking about it behind my back, so I resigned again. How will these rumors stop? Shouldn’t I be stable at my age, having a good job and a boyfriend? I don’t feel like I am enjoying my life. Please help me.
Frustrated Fem
You’re not enjoying your life because you’re trying to please everybody. Stop doing that! Don’t dignify the rumors by escaping from them. Face the rumors squarely. The truth will set you free. You must be comfortable with who you are before others can be comfortable with you. Besides, why does what other people think matter so much to you? Do your job well. Focus on the things that you have control of. If your personal reputation is destroyed by rumors, don’t let your work reputation self-destruct because your mind is preoccupied with more trivial things. And a boyfriend? Calm down. You’re in a state of panic. There are 30-year-olds who are happy with how their lives are going without a boyfriend. Don’t pressure yourself.
China
You’re not expected to have both a good job and a boyfriend when you reach mid-20s. It’s a standard we set for ourselves. Maybe you should reconsider the standard you’re setting for yourself because it’s making you desperate. It’s alright to feel frustrated because you’re finding it hard to find your niche in the industry but you must be aware that there are other alternatives to the call center. It would be good for you to find another job within that industry because of the experience, but if you’re really fed up with that, then you must look at your other options. Confucius said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." So do this first. Once you’ve settled-in at a job that you love, fight to keep it. You must learn to fend off all the rumors, office politics and intrigues that come your way. You’re weak now because you’re not happy with your job nor with your personal life. Strengthen one area first, have financial independence and worry about the rest later.
Mai-Mai
Learn to prioritize. Many people find it hard to find, much less balance, a successful career and a healthy a love life. At your age, I would think you should concentrate on finding a job that you like and do it well. There are office intrigues everywhere. This one you can’t escape. It’ s up to you to meet all these challenges head-on. You must be mature enough to take whatever hardships come your way in the office environment. Being absent the next day after being scolded by your boss isn’t a wise thing to do. And packing up and resigning everytime there is a rumor isn’t the mature way of handling the problem. The rumors will not stop until you stop running away from them. I think that while you’re between jobs, you should take time to assess yourself and your goals. You can’t go looking for a boyfriend and a job at the same time. The right guy will come at the right time. The job, you have to actively look for. Stop making yourself feel inferior and miserable. Remember, your happiness is in your hands.
Tingting
Send questions to sistersact_ys@yahoo.com.
I’m in my mid-20s and I’d like to share my dilemma concerning my career and personal life. I can’t handle the intrigues in the call-center environment and I always end up resigning or staying only for a few months. In the first call center I worked for, I didn’t feel respected and was very much harassed especially when the higher-ups made me feel unproductive and dumb. When they did that, I got depressed and didn’t report the next day, so eventually, I got suspended because of my attendance record and I resigned. I did this with a heavy heart because I fell in love with someone in that office. I think he likes me too except that there were some nasty rumors going around about me and an older man, and me with other guys, so he hesitated. This was heartbreaking for me, but I let him go, hoping I’d fall in love again. I found work in another call center and performance-wise, I was better and I gained the confidence of my superiors. I thought I would leave those rumors behind, but it followed me in this new office and I could feel people talking about it behind my back, so I resigned again. How will these rumors stop? Shouldn’t I be stable at my age, having a good job and a boyfriend? I don’t feel like I am enjoying my life. Please help me.
Frustrated Fem
You’re not enjoying your life because you’re trying to please everybody. Stop doing that! Don’t dignify the rumors by escaping from them. Face the rumors squarely. The truth will set you free. You must be comfortable with who you are before others can be comfortable with you. Besides, why does what other people think matter so much to you? Do your job well. Focus on the things that you have control of. If your personal reputation is destroyed by rumors, don’t let your work reputation self-destruct because your mind is preoccupied with more trivial things. And a boyfriend? Calm down. You’re in a state of panic. There are 30-year-olds who are happy with how their lives are going without a boyfriend. Don’t pressure yourself.
China
You’re not expected to have both a good job and a boyfriend when you reach mid-20s. It’s a standard we set for ourselves. Maybe you should reconsider the standard you’re setting for yourself because it’s making you desperate. It’s alright to feel frustrated because you’re finding it hard to find your niche in the industry but you must be aware that there are other alternatives to the call center. It would be good for you to find another job within that industry because of the experience, but if you’re really fed up with that, then you must look at your other options. Confucius said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." So do this first. Once you’ve settled-in at a job that you love, fight to keep it. You must learn to fend off all the rumors, office politics and intrigues that come your way. You’re weak now because you’re not happy with your job nor with your personal life. Strengthen one area first, have financial independence and worry about the rest later.
Mai-Mai
Learn to prioritize. Many people find it hard to find, much less balance, a successful career and a healthy a love life. At your age, I would think you should concentrate on finding a job that you like and do it well. There are office intrigues everywhere. This one you can’t escape. It’ s up to you to meet all these challenges head-on. You must be mature enough to take whatever hardships come your way in the office environment. Being absent the next day after being scolded by your boss isn’t a wise thing to do. And packing up and resigning everytime there is a rumor isn’t the mature way of handling the problem. The rumors will not stop until you stop running away from them. I think that while you’re between jobs, you should take time to assess yourself and your goals. You can’t go looking for a boyfriend and a job at the same time. The right guy will come at the right time. The job, you have to actively look for. Stop making yourself feel inferior and miserable. Remember, your happiness is in your hands.
Tingting
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