And always, there is hope

I’ve been lucky in many aspects; one of which is that I’ve been untouched by almost any form of discrimination while outside the Philippines. I’ve always been able to raise my head high and declare proudly that I belong to a nation which despite its numerous faults, has a hardworking, smart and loving people. Through all the drama of corruption, extortion, politicking and violence, I’ve loyally stuck with our country. I’ve spent the past few years as a walking advertisement for Tourism Philippines, stubbornly believing that youthful idealism is always the better alternative to age-old cynicism. But this idealism is by no means untouchable and recently, I have been seeing more and more signs of it cracking into pieces.

When I’m in another country and I read and hear about events back home, the feeling that I am an outsider looking in strikes me. Despite the advances of telecommunication and the increasingly interconnected networks among societies, the barriers built not just by geographic location, but by the permeating air of a foreign country’s culture is a hard one to break. These days, a great number of people outside the Philippines look at us as an unpromising, if not pitiful group who have no right to a claim of independence. It is becoming harder and harder to say anything otherwise. Living in China, a country which possesses a certain sense of snobbery and passiveness unparalleled by any other in that its people do not seem to care about the matters tothe rest of the outside world, it is especially embarrassing to be confronted with questions such as "What is happening to your country? Will another President be impeached yet again!?" (The redundancy of adjectives describing repeated action not being lost on me).

It hurts to know that our country is seen by many as a comical land, and I can’t help but wonder if by association, they also see me as a person not to be trusted or taken seriously. And as is human nature, there comes a point where the evil voice of temptation creeps in, and contemptible thoughts of distancing myself from my own country rise in my head. After all, the tragedy that is Filipinos trying to destroy fellow Filipinos never ends – why return to such headaches and heartaches? True, it’s nowhere near as bad as the situation in the Middle East where fighting is done through weaponry and bloodshed, but great wars can also be waged through words. The blackmail and bashing in Manila are equally as horrible to witness as the killing going on elsewhere.

I’ve grown up with people believing that we owe much to the Philippines and must make sure that at the end of the day, we give back more than we receive, in any form that we see fit – be it entering politics and leading the nation, serving in NGOs, educating the young, or succeeding in business. As a friend and teacher put it, "What determines the true nature of your charity is what you genuinely give of yourself. Most people would not think of entrepreneurship as a moral activity, precisely because it is tainted by self-interest and the profit motive. But how to compare the social worker to the entrepreneur, both working in Africa, but one for the poor and sick and the other to create an enterprise employing hundreds or thousands of people who would otherwise be unemployed, paying them not only "fair" wages but wages that are commensurate to their marginal productivity, encouraging them to invest in themselves, providing health insurance for their families, and yes, creating value and wealth for shareholders who invested in the business?"

So many of us have worked hard to uplift this nation we love dearly, but why is it that the combined actions of multitudes have reaped so few benefits and worked so few miracles? It seems that our country will never go back to its former glory and we will forever be doomed to a reputation of foiled and failed presidencies. When is it that we will stop fighting and surrender to fate? If I were asked this question in a moment of weakness, just right about the time when the most recent scandal was given face, maybe I would have answered today. But those wiser than me have thankfully made their views on the matter known, and after all that is said and done, it can be said that our country, the Philippines, still has hope, fragile as it is today. For if the Paulo Coelho could conclude this about his own wartorn country, then we Filipinos can rise on, persevere, and trust that one day, against all odds, we can avoid the doom of unrelenting chaos in society.

Saying it is not enough; words that are not turned into action "bring the pest," as William Blake said. I have tried to do my part…I know that at this moment there are thousands doing much more, working away in silence, without any official help, without any private support, just not to let themselves be overwhelmed by the worst enemy of all: despair. At some moment I thought that if everyone did their part things would change. But tonight, as I contemplate the frozen mountains at the border with China, I have some doubts. Perhaps, even with each one of us doing our part, the saying I learned as a youngster still holds true: "There is no argument against force."

I look at the mountains again, lit up by the moon. I wonder if there is no argument against force. I have tried, fought, and forced myself to believe that the situation in my country will one day get better, but each year that passes things seem to grow more complicated, regardless of who is in the government, the party, the economic plans, or the absence of any plans.

The human being who does not honor his land does not honor himself. In one of the Greek myths of creation, one of the gods, furious at the fact that Prometheus has robbed the fire and is going to make men independent, sends Pandora to marry his brother, Epimetheus. Pandora brings a box with her, which she is forbidden to open. However, just like Eve in the Christian myth, her curiosity gets the better of her: she lifts the lid to see what is inside and at that moment all the evil in the world is released and spreads over the Earth. Only one thing remained inside: Hope.

So, despite everything pointing to the opposite, despite all my sadness, this feeling of impotence, despite being this very moment almost convinced that nothing is going to get better, I cannot lose the only thing that keeps me alive: hope – that word always used with such irony by pseudo-intellectuals who consider it a synonym for "fooling someone." That word so manipulated by governments who make promises fully aware that they are not going to keep them and tear the hearts of the people even more. That word is with us so often in the morning, is wounded in the course of the day and dies at nightfall, yet always rises with the dawn.

Yes, there is a saying that goes: "there is no argument against force." But there is another saying that goes: "where there is life there is hope." (From Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho)

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Thanks for writing. For more comments or suggestions, e-mail me at stephaniecoyiuto@ yahoo.com.