All around the world

AMSTERDAM, The Netherlands – Greetings from Amsterdam! It’s a little funny, but despite the hectic touring schedule, I feel strangely relaxed. There’s something about traveling that seems to lift all the stress and anxiety of daily Manila life from my shoulders; whether it be a trip to Tagaytay, a trip to the beach, or a trip to Cairo. (I have never been to Egypt, but would very much like to go.)

I suppose leaving home is like leaving everything associated with your everyday persona behind. It is as though somewhere along your car/bus/boat/plane ride to whatever your destination is, you slowly, subconsciously let go of all your frustrations. All the work that has yet to be done, all the petty squabbles that still resonate in your immediate memory, all the little fears about little things that tend to lurk at the back of your mind. All of these things disappear.

So, even though I have to wake up at 6:30 a.m. every morning and walk through city streets all day, I feel calm and at ease. (For once.)

Right now, I don’t really think about the responsibilities I left back at home. Or at least, when I do, these thoughts are fleeting and lost in an instant. I am preoccupied with walking through these beautiful city streets, taking in and digesting all the beautiful, foreign architecture, and learning as much about the local culture as possible.

We visited the Rijks Museum, and saw Rembrandt’s famous "Night Watch," after which, we looked at a little Van Gogh.

We walked along Amsterdam’s famous Red Light District, and it was every bit as fascinating as expected, even in the full light of day. (What more at night!)

We went to Anne Frank’s house and walked through the rooms that she and her family had lived in, in constant fear and complete silence, for two years. It could hardly be considered living, really, being unable to make any noise, being forbidden to do anything, being able to see the world outside and knowing that if they tried to be a part of it, they would die. It was a humbling experience.

Right now, I don’t worry about the things that I left behind me.

What I worry about is the inevitable fact that I will eventually have to go back to all of the responsibility, and all of the stress and anxiety and frustration and fear, and that leaves me somewhat afraid.

Many of us, at some point in our lives, have wanted to take a permanent vacation from our daily reality. But at the end of the day, all of these things are still out there, waiting for us, and we will still have to face them head on.

I suppose I’ll just settle for enjoying this three-week European sojourn, and keep hoping that things won’t be so bloody bad when I get home. After all, you can’t stop bad things from happening. You can’t stop life.

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I think my cousin, Paolo, documented our short stay in Amsterdam more fully than I have in his column. In any case, you can e-mail any comments, complaints, and violent reactions to bewaretheashtraygirl@yahoo.com.