Why I’m Desperate: An open letter

Dear powers that be of Philippine and Asian cable television, You might’ve heard of this little show called Desperate Housewives. It debuted on ABC last October to much publicity and buzz, with a series premiere seen by an astounding 21.3 million viewers, the biggest series start since CBS’ CSI: Miami in 2002. The once-ailing Disney-owned ABC, previously the least-watched of the Big Four networks (CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox), invested heavily on intensely marketing its 2004 fall line-up, and the move paid off. Led by juggernaut Housewives, fellow newbie sensation Lost (now on AXN) and surprise second-season hit Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the network was salvaged, and is the only network to show a growth from last season in both total viewers and the coveted 18- to 49-year-old demographic.

Already, Desperate Housewives, which won the Golden Globe for Best Comedy or Musical Series in January, is one of the biggest, most talked-about shows in years, touching a nerve in society that very few television shows previously have – all before even finishing its first season. The show’s audience has consistently grown, with an audience of almost 30 million tuning in each week. I am one of those 30 million fans – however, because of the show’s all-too-long absence from Philippine cable, I had to resort to downloading episodes off the Internet. Sad and potentially unethical, I know, but hey, with a phenomenon like Housewives, I knew I shouldn’t miss out.

And I was right: Sixteen episodes into the first season, I can’t get enough of the women of Wisteria Lane. You guys need to get the show to our TV screens.

Just over a minute into the pilot, seemingly normal housewife Mary Alice Young shoots herself in the head right after tending her garden and doing the laundry. She couldn’t have said it better herself in her posthumous narration, a la Kevin Spacey in American Beauty: "I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection. That’s why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet, and retrieve a revolver that had never been used." Mary Alice’s mysterious suicide sends her neighbors to question the motive. "Mom, why would someone kill themselves?" Julie, Susan’s 14-year-old daughter, asks on the way to Mary Alice’s funeral reception. "Well, sometimes people are so unhappy they think that’s the only way they can solve their problems," her mother responds. "But Mrs. Young always seemed happy," Julie dejectedly retorts, and Susan replies an inevitable, "Sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside when they’re totally different on the inside."

That same sentiment is the theme of Desperate Housewives, that beyond the apparent veneer of middle-class suburbia thrives something much darker and unsaid. The Stepford Wives teased us that "The wives of Stepford have a secret"; Far from Heaven asked us, "What lies beneath the surface? What hides behind the walls?"; "The American Dream was over" in The Ice Storm; and American Beauty reminded us to "look closer." All these films dealt with what the housewives of Wisteria Lane are now facing: Beneath the charming cul-de-sac’s manicured lawns, pastel houses and white picket fences lay secrets and lies, and nothing is ever what they seem. Following Mary Alice’s death, her friends Susan, Bree, Lynette and Gabrielle discover the varnish of suburban life is beginning to crack, and that everyone has a little dirty laundry.

It could’ve been titled Sex and the Suburbs with the gripping mystery and shocking twists of Twin Peaks and soap opera campiness of Dynasty, and the Desperate Housewives women may very well have been influenced from characters of the aforementioned shows. Melrose Place’s Teri Hatcher, who in January won a Golden Globe, plays Susan Mayer, the neurotic single mom divorcée and whose awkwardness and frequent stumbles – literally and figuratively – leads to an endearingly close, Gilmore Girls-esque mother-daughter relationship with teen daughter Julie. Her husband left her for his secretary, and Susan is now experiencing love’s highs and lows with just-moved-to-the-neighborhood plumber Mike Delfino (James Denton), providing some of the more heated suds and shocks of the series; we know about his rap sheet of drugs and manslaughter, but next to Mary Alice’s suicide, Wisteria Lane’s big mystery is why Mike moved to town.

Fellow Melrose alum Marcia Cross, who deserved Hatcher’s Golden Globe, is the waspy Bree van de Kamp, personally my favorite character. Calling her Martha Stewart on steroids would be an understatement, as the real-life Stepford wife and staunch Republican (she’s a member of the NRA, for God’s sake!) constantly strives for aesthetic perfection in her home. Her efforts, however, aren’t appreciated by her family: her in-the-closet son and sexually active daughter rebel, and her marriage to husband Rex is deteriorating (as an act of revenge, she humiliates him by revealing in front of their friends that he cries at climax). Bree is the Housewife we feel the most compassion for; she strives for perfection but can never attain it. She is simply hiding behind her crisp argyle sweaters and oh-so-faux porcelain-beauty smile.

Playing sexpot and ex-model Gabrielle Solis is Eva Longoria; Gabby is the most hilarious and outlandish of the group, especially with her, um, sexual relations with underage gardener John. Husband Carlos, however, who is on house arrest, is oblivious to his wife’s affair. Felicity Huffman plays Lynette Scavo, the once-powerful businesswoman who left her successful career of corporate dinners and pressed suits to raise her four children with loving husband Tom. Not so easy: She has ADD-addled twins ("monsters" is a more telling term) and pops their pills, she has emotional meltdowns, and her hubby is attracted to the nanny.

The other residents of Wisteria Lane are also worth paying a visit to: Edie, played by Nicollette Sheridan, is the resident flirt that wears anything tight; there is also neighborhood prostitute and PTA head Maisy Gibbons, wacko pharmacist and Bree-obsessive George, and neighbor Mrs. Huber and her sister.

Philippine or Asian cable needs to get this show to the Philippines so the nation too can catch wind of the "desperation" millions are already experiencing. ETC, I’d expect you guys to snap up Housewives episodes very soon; if you’d air such disposable TV schlock as those trashy reality dating shows you’re so fond of, I’m sure Desperate Housewives isn’t far from acquisition. Star World, you’re able to air American Idol as soon as America sees it (thanks for that, by the way); I am hopeful you can go to the same lengths for our dearest Housewives. AXN, you have Lost, ABC’s other new hit drama, so I’m assuming acquiring Housewives wouldn’t be too difficult? Studio 23, you guys aren’t even on cable and you’re already airing newbie series from the fall 2004-2005 season: Joey, Jack & Bobby…maybe even Desperate Housewives? Canada, the UK, Germany, Argentina, Brazil, Norway, Belgium, Australia, Bulgaria, Italy, Holland, Denmark, Iceland, Spain, Austria and Switzerland are already enjoying Housewives episodes – why shouldn’t we?

Desperate Housewives, now a part of the cultural zeitgeist, is the most addicting series of the season, a delicious, hilarious primetime soap with an unabashedly campy, dark and twisted sense of humor that has turned into a television phenomenon unseen since the rabid fanfare of similarly soapy classics as Dallas and Dynasty, in all their steamy affairs, malicious backstabbing, "Who shot JR?"-and-Moldavian Massacre cliffhanger glory. The show marks the return of the serial drama, and at a time when airwaves are ruled by stenciled procedural crime series like the CSI and Law & Order franchises (seven shows altogether!), a visit to Wisteria Lane – far from New York, Miami, Vegas – is a welcome breath of suburban fresh air.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

Lanz Leviste

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For comments, e-mail me at lanz_gryffindor@yahoo.com.